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Tom Lawrence bereaved


Lincs Ram

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I know that we have several people on this forum who unfortunately lost their parents at even younger ages than Tom, but 25 still seems shockingly young to have to go through something like that. It shows great strength of character from him to continue playing.

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2 hours ago, 86 points said:

Couldn't agree more. And I'm sorry @Carl Sagan but I couldn't disagree more with your assessment. We're not in the dark ages anymore when men are men and just get on with stuff. Suffering in stoical silence is one of the major factors that have resulted male suicide rates accounting for nearly three quarters of national instances. Let that sink in for a moment - 3 times as many men successfully attempt suicide as do women. Why do we suppose that is? I can't say for sure but I strongly suspect that the notion that men should somehow march through grief, loneliness, mental health issues and the like is a major factor in those statistics. Equally, the notion that we can't reach out to people going through tough times is an extremely unhealthy one IMO and must also be a contributory factor. I'm not suggesting for one moment that Tom falls into this category, but I do take issue with the kindness of strangers being labelled as something else.

If anyone cares to draw a parallel then simply visit the Depression & Anxiety thread from our very own forum. It can be sensibly argued that grief through bereavement is only loosely akin to such issues but let's not play down the fact that many struggle badly when asked to cope with the loss of a close family member or loved one. Why then is it 'weird' that we should care about them, express sympathy and offer support, even to those with whom we are not acquainted? That seems to me to be a sadly cynical outlook.

I suspect and hope that what you mean is that that if someone asks for privacy (even implicitly) then their wishes should be respected but I would argue even then, not to their own detriment, surely. In so much their are no golden rules. I also take issue with the inference that it's a modern phenomenon to be touched or even profoundly effected by a stranger's grief. I think that has for many, always been the case. What has changed IMHO, is that we now have the means to communicate those feelings and I really struggle to see that as a negative thing, in any way, shape or form. After all, isn't a more caring society what we should be striving for?

I apologise if this comes across as sermonising in any way, that is not my intention, but I feel strongly that it's a point worth making, especially given the fact that the aforementioned DCFC thread contains over 1,300 posts. The photo of Frank consoling Tom quite clearly illustrates the pain this young man is feeling and I'd commend anyone who tried to offer support as a consequence, whether it is solicited or not.

 

Exactly this.

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