Tom Lawrence bereaved

[Lincs Ram]

I just found out that Tom Lawrence’s Mum died quite recently. Don’t know about others but I’ve been critical of his performance and commitment in many games for latter half of season. Feel guilty now as maybe his Mum was ill/dying for a while and I know from personal experience what that’s like. Must have knocked him big style so great to see the enthusiasm of him celebrating the Leeds victory! If he’s confident and on form, he can do the business and maybe needs some extra support?!

[Stuniverse]

27 minutes ago, Lincs Ram said:

I just found out that Tom Lawrence’s Mum died quite recently. Don’t know about others but I’ve been critical of his performance and commitment in many games for latter half of season. Feel guilty now as maybe his Mum was ill/dying for a while and I know from personal experience what that’s like. Must have knocked him big style so great to see the enthusiasm of him celebrating the Leeds victory! If he’s confident and on form, he can do the business and maybe needs some extra support?!

Yes, I heard that too. It’s a credit to Tom that he (a) still wanted to play in recent matches and (b) that he played so well - I thought his performances against WBA and the second-leg against Leeds were superb.

His mum would be very proud of him.

[Ibby]

Very braved of him.

[ramsbottom]

Only occurred to me the other night the significance of this picture when I remembered that Frank lost his Mum a few years ago.  He'll know exactly how Lawrence feels, and how he can turn such tragedy into something positive.  Normally don't make predictions, but I wonder what odds you'll get on Tom scoring the winner on Monday???

[Smyth_18]

1-0 Derby Lawrence to score - 60/1.

[Mos_Ram]

This completely passed me by at the time. Gutted for Tom, he is a human being after all and I too have been critical of some of his performances. Just shows you don't always know what's going on in people's lives, despite how public the figure.

I'll be right behind him on Monday. Do it for your mum Tom!

[Shuff264]

7 hours ago, ramsbottom said:

Only occurred to me the other night the significance of this picture when I remembered that Frank lost his Mum a few years ago.  He'll know exactly how Lawrence feels, and how he can turn such tragedy into something positive.  Normally don't make predictions, but I wonder what odds you'll get on Tom scoring the winner on Monday???

The season book-ended by Lawrence winners would be particularly sweet 

[The Scarlet Pimpernel]

We need a song for Tom. Most others have one.

[DarkFruitsRam7]

Brilliant gesture this.

[Geriatram]

I find that image of Lawrence and Lampard very moving.

[Sith Happens]

1 minute ago, Geriatram said:

I find that image of Lawrence and Lampard very moving.

Yep me too.

 

[Carl Sagan]

Tom has to my mind been pretty private about this, as is totally his prerogative. We live in a weird era when people think it's for them to be involved in other people's grief. To me that's weird and I'm very pleased indeed there'll be no giant banner at Wembley, even though I also find that a moving image. 

I acknowledge that might just be me being old-fashioned. 

[jono]

We need a shake hands emoji .. sort of .. yeah buddy we are on the same wavelength

[Tamworthram]

24 minutes ago, BurtonRam7 said:

Brilliant gesture this.

I'm with Carl Sagan on this one. Whilst the idea was well intended, it's a private matter for him and a banner, however subtle, would not have been the right thing to do. Let him keep it private and concentrate on his football (as best he can) on Monday. I'm sure it's what he wants to try and do. 

Good intention but an error of judgement in my mind (sorry if that upsets anyone).

[DarkFruitsRam7]

19 minutes ago, Carl Sagan said:

Tom has to my mind been pretty private about this, as is totally his prerogative. We live in a weird era when people think it's for them to be involved in other people's grief. To me that's weird and I'm very pleased indeed there'll be no giant banner at Wembley, even though I also find that a moving image. 

I acknowledge that might just be me being old-fashioned. 

 

4 minutes ago, Tamworthram said:

I'm with Carl Sagan on this one. Whilst the idea was well intended, it's a private matter for him and a banner, however subtle, would not have been the right thing to do. Let him keep it private and concentrate on his football (as best he can) on Monday. I'm sure it's what he wants to try and do. 

Good intention but an error of judgement in my mind (sorry if that upsets anyone).

I have to disagree here. He’s been reasonably open about it by posting on Instagram, thanking everyone for all of their messages of support:

The flag itself conveys the message without explicitly mentioning his mum. I think it’s great, especially for someone who might not have felt all that loved by the fans.

[Tamworthram]

3 minutes ago, BurtonRam7 said:

 

I have to disagree here. He’s been reasonably open about it by posting on Instagram, thanking everyone for all of their messages of support:

The flag itself conveys the message without explicitly mentioning his mum. I think it’s great, especially for someone who might not have felt all that loved by the fans.

We'll have to agree to disagree then. I read the words "I wouldn't normally do this...." to mean exactly that. He wouldn't normally do it but he feels as if he needs to because of all the messages he's received. If he's received lots of messages, and I hope he has, then he knows we care already and doesn't need any attention being drawn to his sad loss on such a public stage when he probably wants to concentrate on his football.

[B4ev6is]

I hope tom lawarance scores for his mum

I know what tom going through no wander been struggling.

[Van der MoodHoover]

6 minutes ago, B4ev6is said:

I hope tom lawarance scores for his mum

I know what tom going through no wander been struggling.

Well said b4 and it's instructive for us all to stop and reflect a little on what things may be going on in these player's lives that could be affecting them before being too quick to wade in with the criticism. 

He played really well last Wednesday. I hope that the memories of his mum will be a positive force for him at Wembley. 

Good luck Tom (and I'll give my free flange an extra special twirl.....)?

[Brammie Steve]

A difficult time for you Tom!

Best wishes to you and your family.

They have to be your number one priority just now.

[Comrade 86]

12 hours ago, BurtonRam7 said:

 

I have to disagree here. He’s been reasonably open about it by posting on Instagram, thanking everyone for all of their messages of support:

The flag itself conveys the message without explicitly mentioning his mum. I think it’s great, especially for someone who might not have felt all that loved by the fans.

Couldn't agree more. And I'm sorry @Carl Sagan but I couldn't disagree more with your assessment. We're not in the dark ages anymore when men are men and just get on with stuff. Suffering in stoical silence is one of the major factors that have resulted male suicide rates accounting for nearly three quarters of national instances. Let that sink in for a moment - 3 times as many men successfully attempt suicide as do women. Why do we suppose that is? I can't say for sure but I strongly suspect that the notion that men should somehow march through grief, loneliness, mental health issues and the like is a major factor in those statistics. Equally, the notion that we can't reach out to people going through tough times is an extremely unhealthy one IMO and must also be a contributory factor. I'm not suggesting for one moment that Tom falls into this category, but I do take issue with the kindness of strangers being labelled as something else.

If anyone cares to draw a parallel then simply visit the Depression & Anxiety thread from our very own forum. It can be sensibly argued that grief through bereavement is only loosely akin to such issues but let's not play down the fact that many struggle badly when asked to cope with the loss of a close family member or loved one. Why then is it 'weird' that we should care about them, express sympathy and offer support, even to those with whom we are not acquainted? That seems to me to be a sadly cynical outlook.

I suspect and hope that what you mean is that that if someone asks for privacy (even implicitly) then their wishes should be respected but I would argue even then, not to their own detriment, surely. In so much their are no golden rules. I also take issue with the inference that it's a modern phenomenon to be touched or even profoundly effected by a stranger's grief. I think that has for many, always been the case. What has changed IMHO, is that we now have the means to communicate those feelings and I really struggle to see that as a negative thing, in any way, shape or form. After all, isn't a more caring society what we should be striving for?

I apologise if this comes across as sermonising in any way, that is not my intention, but I feel strongly that it's a point worth making, especially given the fact that the aforementioned DCFC thread contains over 1,300 posts. The photo of Frank consoling Tom quite clearly illustrates the pain this young man is feeling and I'd commend anyone who tried to offer support as a consequence, whether it is solicited or not.