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dog

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On 14/05/2019 at 22:15, dog said:

So. With my wife about to be fifty I had arranged a variety of do's .

Unfortunately the first is tomorrow night and the next is on the date of the final 

All booked just before Christmas.

I don't want to spend the time watching my phone

Ideas?

Forgery.

You go, tomorrow morning so that she doesn't make any link to tonight's match, to the secret drawer where you keep her birth certificate. In short the certificate needs to be taken somewhere to make her 49 in 2019 and there are bound to be decent chaps in Derby that can make the appropriate alteration for you, for less than the price of a Wembley ticket.

You then make all the right noises. Darling, I know you/we enjoyed the opera last night and I'm planning a major celebration for your 50th in June next year (produce the certificate). I've also arranged a special bank holiday weekend away with the girls/family/dogs (fill in as appropriate) so that you can celebrate your last year in your 40s because you are special.

Foolproof.

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