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Perspective


Comrade 86

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10 hours ago, Zag zig said:

Mate, can’t add much to the sentiments of others. Only say whilst life is a bitch at times, by trying to remember the good things that get you through and keeping perspective as you say, you will somehow keep the ride smoother.

Just wish you all the best

Cheers Zag - much appreciated mate. Feeling much more positive today ?

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9 hours ago, Lambchop said:

Weirdly, sometimes it's the worst things which bring us the closest. No experience, however terrible, is ever wasted if it deepens your love for someone. 

I hope that doesn't sound like a platitude. I've lost nearly everyone now, but found it to be true over the years. 

Wishing you all the best, anyway. x

Thank you my dear! We'll see how things go. Reading up on the subject it's not all doom and gloom so I'll keep my fingers crossed and try not to cry like a baby again! 

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3 hours ago, coneheadjohn said:

I forgot to ask...How’s your Dad?

 

He seems OK thanks John. He's tough and made of sterner stuff than me. He'll know what's what end of week apparently but he's just carrying on as if nothing's happened at the moment which I guess is the right approach, for now at least. 

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17 hours ago, ronnieronalde said:

I don't know you other than through your posts on here. but through your posts on here, I like you and you come across like a really decent person across a number of different topics (you and @RamNut @reveldevil @i-Ram  @rynny  and others can get away with views others wouldn't because of your overall posts).

I'm sorry you've gone through what you've gone through, it really does hit hard.

Try to hold on to that feeling of wanting to be the best person you can be, don' let it slip away when things turn around. Too many of us are so focussed on things that in the grand scheme of things don't matter a jot, we sweat the little stuff.

You're already a good bloke, don't beat yourself up about that and it doesn't matter how or when you start trying to be nicer. Not too many people reflect enough to even bother trying.

I hope your dads appointment went well (or goes as well as it can), remember mate as long as it's caught early enough the survival rate is very high and usually for years. 

Give him a hug, get close to him again, tell him a couple of things he did that make you proud to be his son and don't neglect yourself or feel the need to be the rock for everyone else. Someone needs to give the cuddler and cuddle as well. If you ever want to chat to a stranger, drop me a pm. I'm happy to chat balls for ages, as you've ALL already seen for years.

All the best pal, keep smiling. Be Good x

There are some really nice people on here,it gladdens my heart to here peoples concerns,so 86,heres hoping everything turns out well for your father,remember there have been a lot of advancements in the treatment of prostrate cancer,thinking of you and your family,be positive,good luck to you all,remember the power of prayer.David

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3 hours ago, Malagaram said:

There are some really nice people on here,it gladdens my heart to here peoples concerns,so 86,heres hoping everything turns out well for your father,remember there have been a lot of advancements in the treatment of prostrate cancer,thinking of you and your family,be positive,good luck to you all,remember the power of prayer.David

Totally agree, we may have our footballing differences from time to time but it always heartens me how people react on here. 

 

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23 hours ago, 86 points said:

Week from hell.

I haven't been on here much lately as have been touring with Chippendales; and not had much to say since we were stopped from brawling in 'The Pub' and I am largely delirious about Super Frank.

I shall try not to start to sound like Boyzone lyrics and keep it short.

When you meet someone you love that you don't see that often make the most of it. Every meeting is a gold coin.

Imagine your Dad's problem is a toothy little c**t wearing a Forest scarf and encourage everyone to help him fight it.

Good luck mate.

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Just now, WhiteHorseRam said:

I haven't been on here much lately as have been touring with Chippendales; and not had much to say since we were stopped from brawling in 'The Pub' and I am largely delirious about Super Frank.

I shall try not to start to sound like Boyzone lyrics and keep it short.

When you meet someone you love that you don't see that often make the most of it. Every meeting is a gold coin.

Imagine your Dad's problem is a toothy little c**t wearing a Forest scarf and encourage everyone to help him fight it.

Good luck mate.

Love the analogy! This made me laugh, a much needed bit of brevity too. Cheers @WhiteHorseRam

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We've had a terrible year for cancer too especially on Mrs Parsnip's side.

One thing I will say is that there's hope no matter what the initial prognosis. Her Dad in particular has made a miraculous recovery after having the surgery that his own doctor advised him not to put himself through, such were the odds stacked against him.

All the best to you and your family @86 points x

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6 minutes ago, Parsnip said:

We've had a terrible year for cancer too especially on Mrs Parsnip's side.

One thing I will say is that there's hope no matter what the initial prognosis. Her Dad in particular has made a miraculous recovery after having the surgery that his own doctor advised him not to put himself through, such were the odds stacked against him.

All the best to you and your family @86 points x

Thanks @Parsnip It's a terrible disease but research is slowly starting to win more battles, if not the war itself. Cancer took my mum very early in her life, one of the reasons I think I completely freaked at the recent new,s but that was a long time ago now and I think in many cases the prognosis is far more positive. I'm holding onto that thought right now and given the old boy played 18 holes yesterday, it's clear he's not curling up just yet in any case!  

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On 20/11/2018 at 16:12, 86 points said:

Week from hell. Fortnight actually. Trying to get lawyers to pull their fingers out of their backsides on a property purchase, wisdom teeth making me want to tear half my face off, into third week of broadband issues... Very much an FML kind of period then. What else can go wrong, I found myself thinking. So then it not only rained, but it poured.

First, I got a call from my sister. Our step-brother’s wife had passed away. Transpires she was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months back but the family decided not to broadcast the news, as is their right. She went downhill fast and lost the unequal fight on Sunday night. Instead of going to a wedding this weekend, I’ll now be attending a funeral.

Fast forward a day and a half and whilst discussing arrangements with the old man, he drops the bombshell that he’s being biopsied tomorrow as it looks likely he has prostrate cancer. He too had decided not to say anything but felt that he should at this point. True hardman that I am, I burst out crying over the phone, like that’s really gonna help. WTF Pete, really! 

Sat here now thinking about stuff, mainly my thought processes these last few months and generally questioning my whole value system – what really matters and what really doesn’t. Suffice to say there’s been a seismic change in my mindset. Now I’m left thinking that I’m going to try and be the best I can be for dad, my stepbro for everyone I hold dear but I can’t help thinking why does it take events like these for me to think this way? I really can’t answer that one. I suppose I could if I wanted to, but the truth hurts, doesn’t it?

So there you have it folks, perspective. My advice from my personal little pit of despair is that if there’s anyone around you right now, anyone you care about at all, reach over, give them a hug and tell them that you love them. We all lose folk and we all face trails and tribulations, but taking less for granted will certainly make the inevitable bumps a tad easier to ride.

Although I signed up yonks ago, I think it's fair to say that, posting-wise, I'm clearly a newbie here, and obviously don't know you guys very well (although I have met a couple a few years back, if usernames are anything to go by?), so I don't feel man hugs and the like are appropriate.  I am, however, happy to offer my sympathy, and send you my best wishes.

The main purpose of my post though, is to let you know... through my own recent experience (on another, non-football forum)... that when poo like this happens, even if it "feels wrong", "against your better judgement", or indeed "something that really isn't in your nature", it really does help to open up... even on a public forum... to folk who you may consider to be your "mates".  Even if, in reality, they are total strangers.  In fact, I think that's what helped me in my own "hour of need"... the fact that my forum mates were actually strangers, as opposed to real friends and family! 

"It's good to talk", as the saying goes, and I now know that's very true, so keep "talking"... when you feel the need.  It really does help (as do the kind and considerate responses, of course!)

All the very best to you and your old man.  I hope it all works out for you... but in the meantime, "you know where we are, if you need us"!  

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1 minute ago, 86 points said:

Thanks @Mucker1884 I did initially regret posting but in hindsight all the support has been very welcome and I have been touched by the kindness shown by the DCFC Fans clan, yourself included. Many thanks again.

Yes, you do wonder (panic!) if you've done the right thing, seconds after pressing the "send" button!  But as you're now finding out for yourself, those messages of support and kind words go a hell of a long way to easing the pain.  You did the right thing!  

All the best.

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Tough times can focus us and bring out our best.

And I would take a gentleman's wager that your best is very good.

My only suggestion (i wouldn't presume to advise) is to treat each day as a gift, to view everyone you know as a precious but fragile thing. Cherish it as far as you can. And save the inevitable rucks and in-fights for future fire side reminiscences. 

Best wishes and much respect,

Hants x

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3 hours ago, 86 points said:

Thanks @Parsnip It's a terrible disease but research is slowly starting to win more battles, if not the war itself. Cancer took my mum very early in her life, one of the reasons I think I completely freaked at the recent new,s but that was a long time ago now and I think in many cases the prognosis is far more positive. I'm holding onto that thought right now and given the old boy played 18 holes yesterday, it's clear he's not curling up just yet in any case!  

Just to say, my wife's brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and by the luck of the draw got really good treatment to the point where he was declared free of it. It involved injecting him with gold particles and female hormones or summat. Anyway, that was 3 or 4 years ago and now he's really fit and active, and 80! So there's hope. Good luck.

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Wish you all the best mate. Unfortunately I didnt get the good luck story with my dad's prostate cancer as I lost him to it a couple years ago.

There's some amazing treatments out there though and I personally found despite the end result the positivity throughout was easily the best way to deal with it.  

Thanks for sharing we are all in support of you mate. 

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