Board.

[Rev]

48 minutes ago, Bwash_Ram said:

If it was me id get him to pay 25% of his income into an ISA he cant touch then in a few years he will have enough for a deposit.

While I wouldn't force him to save money he can't touch, I did wonder about a Lifetime ISA for such purposes.

[McRainy]

26 minutes ago, reveldevil said:

While I wouldn't force him to save money he can't touch, I did wonder about a Lifetime ISA for such purposes.

How about forcing him to spend ALL his money on trainers?

Aversion therapy. 

Similarly, you have to spend all yours on coffee machines...

[Rev]

1 minute ago, Lambchop said:

How about forcing him to spend ALL his money on trainers?

Aversion therapy. 

Similarly, you have to spend all yours on coffee machines...

I've probably bottled out of the coffee machine, as it's a waste of money.

I don't even like coffee that much!

[Ghost of Clough]

51 minutes ago, reveldevil said:

While I wouldn't force him to save money he can't touch, I did wonder about a Lifetime ISA for such purposes.

Help to Buy ISA would be better (financially). High interest rates and 25% bonus on anything saved (max bonus of £3000).

[Coneheadjohn]

Horrible dilemma.

I think you’re right and it’s a good lesson.

We don’t and never would but I think you should.

Ask him what’s fair,someone said £50,probably about right,so half it,say 100 quid a month.

Why?I’ve got no idea.

 

[Ghost of Clough]

22 hours ago, coneheadjohn said:

Horrible dilemma.

I think you’re right and it’s a good lesson.

We don’t and never would but I think you should.

Ask him what’s fair,someone said £50,probably about right,so half it,say 100 quid a month.

Why?I’ve got no idea.

 

I'm struggling to see how half of £50 is £100

[Mucker1884]

Half of £50 per week = £100 per month... especially in February!  

 

 

... It's a bit like saying:

I used to be 6' 2", but I've shrunk by 2", so I'm now 1.83m!

[Coneheadjohn]

2 hours ago, Ghost of Clough said:

I'm struggling to see how half of £50 is £100

50 quid a week,100 a month.

That’s how my lads would calculate it.

It’s not much of a formula is it?

[JoetheRam]

I paid £200 when I was taking home between £500-£1k from the age of 19-23. I got either £1.5k or £2k back when I left to put towards stuff for the house.

Just took me a hell of a lot longer to save up enough for a deposit than it would otherwise resulting in me being more of "drain" on the household's finances for longer. I already knew the value of a £ and really resented paying it. I regularly bang on about it to my mother even now because I just don't see what good it did me.

I'd probably have a car now if it weren't for that.

I'd probably suggest (i.e tell) them to put between a third and half of their cash into a savings account that they shouldn't touch until it comes to buying a place and ask them to empty the dishwasher every now and again.

[Rev]

3 minutes ago, JoetheRam said:

I paid £200 when I was taking home between £500-£1k from the age of 19-23. I got either £1.5k or £2k back when I left to put towards stuff for the house.

Just took me a hell of a lot longer to save up enough for a deposit than it would otherwise resulting in me being more of "drain" on the household's finances for longer. I already knew the value of a £ and really resented paying it. I regularly bang on about it to my mother even now because I just don't see what good it did me.

I'd probably suggest (i.e tell) them to put between a third and half of their cash into a savings account that they shouldn't touch until it comes to buying a place and ask them to empty the dishwasher every now and again.

I've got to say £200 seems a bit steep.

I'm surprised how many say they don't charge it, literally everyone I knew when I was that age paid it, along with giving their entire first wage packet to their mum.

Maybe that was the environment I grew up in, and richer households didn't see the need?

Then again, maybe as the state have withdrawn all the advantages of being young, like free education and affordable housing, and even easy access to the dole, it's become less of a thing?

 

 

 

[RoyMac5]

3 hours ago, JoetheRam said:

I paid £200 when I was taking home between £500-£1k from the age of 19-23. I got either £1.5k or £2k back when I left to put towards stuff for the house.

Just took me a hell of a lot longer to save up enough for a deposit than it would otherwise resulting in me being more of "drain" on the household's finances for longer. I already knew the value of a £ and really resented paying it. 

How much would it have cost you to rent somewhere? Some youngsters don't get any monetary help.

[SSD]

If we decide to have kids, instead of charging board, I'll make sure they have a savings account for a mortgage or for a rent deposit. Why all of a sudden would I start charging my child for money when I've been paying their way for 18+ years? I think it's part of having kids, we make the choice and as parents we should help them to move out into their own homes. My folks charged me £150 a month which was about 10% of my earnings but they told me I needed to save money to move out too. Granted, teenagers need to learn the everyday life of being an adult. I just thinking saving encourages them more and gives them motivation rather than giving parents money for in my view no reason, unless parents are struggle to pay the bills. 

[Coneheadjohn]

11 hours ago, reveldevil said:

I've got to say £200 seems a bit steep.

I'm surprised how many say they don't charge it, literally everyone I knew when I was that age paid it, along with giving their entire first wage packet to their mum.

Maybe that was the environment I grew up in, and richer households didn't see the need?

Then again, maybe as the state have withdrawn all the advantages of being young, like free education and affordable housing, and even easy access to the dole, it's become less of a thing?

 

 

 

I think it depends on the circumstances.

I remember being charged a bit by my Dad and it served no purpose other than me resenting it.

 

[JoetheRam]

10 hours ago, RoyMac5 said:

How much would it have cost you to rent somewhere? Some youngsters don't get any monetary help.

Well yeah it would have cost more so I was lucky in that sense, but why any parent would want to make it harder for their kids than it needs to be I don't know.

 

[Stive Pesley]

18 minutes ago, JoetheRam said:

Well yeah it would have cost more so I was lucky in that sense, but why any parent would want to make it harder for their kids than it needs to be I don't know.

For the parents that do charge board, it seems to be about "teaching them a life lesson" - which is fair enough, but as we're talking 18+ people, they are adults and should be treated as such. Who wants their parents being authoritarian about this sort of stuff when they are adults? I suspect the answer is no one.

For me it's a grown-up conversation. "I'm not going to charge you board because I know you want to save that money for a deposit of your own place. I don't need your money to keep the roof over our heads currently, but if that changes then we'll have this conversation again. It means more to me that you're here at all, and you treat the home and the rest of the family with respect. That's all I need"

Maybe I'm just soft, but I'd rather that than have my kids resent me for being "hard"

 

[jono]

On 19/11/2018 at 10:37, StivePesley said:

An interesting topic - my eldest moved out at the age of 20, but now after two years living in his own (rented) place, he's moved back in for a bit. His lease came up for renewal and he didn't want to commit to another year as he wants to move away from Derby.

It wouldn't dream of charging him any board, but it's surprising how many friends have said they would if it were their kid

He buys all his own food anyway, so the only material difference is on the gas/electric bill - it went down by about £15 a month when he moved out before. That's a £15 difference that I can live with. And he needs it more than I do. The whole point of him moving back for a bit is to save up a decent wedge to fund whatever his next move will be.

Charging him to live here seems weird, I'm his Dad and no matter how old he is, or how rich he is, he gets to stay here whenever he needs to

There may come a day when I'm broke but I know he'd be there for me if that were the case. Plus I know he appreciates it, and he gets his round in without being prompted. so that's all I can ask for.

 

 

That’s being a decent Dad and giving a young man a leg up, quite right too. Totally with you in those circumstances. And given he feeds himself it really isn’t a “thing” ... I think it’s rather different if a youngster moves seamlessly from school, in to a job and becomes a full member of the household without a specific aim to move on at some future point and at the same time enjoying “full domestic benefits” 

The whole thing has to be about common decency, common sense with some love thrown in.

[McRainy]

6 minutes ago, StivePesley said:

as we're talking 18+ people, they are adults and should be treated as such. Who wants their parents being authoritarian about this sort of stuff when they are adults?

Absolutely this. Even if, at 18, you're not in a position to be financially independent, and need to stay at home. The days when you could leave school, get a job and get a mortgage, or afford rent, are long gone. 

It's not the fault of the younger generation now that they don't have the same opportunities for independence that their parents had. We all know where the responsibility lies for that, and it isn't with the young. Suggesting that they need to learn a lesson about being financially responsible is rather adding insult to injury. 

Being forced to stay with your parents, because of the economic climate, is already holding you back, emotionally as well as financially. Being treated as if this makes you a burden or an incompetent is only infantilising you further.

Kids need their own lives, that's how they grow and learn to be the people they need to be. The world is ducked, and they're going to have to be the ones who sort it out. I have more faith in their generation than ours to do so, even if they do buy stupid trainers.

 

[Stive Pesley]

18 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

Absolutely this. Even if, at 18, you're not in a position to be financially independent, and need to stay at home. The days when you could leave school, get a job and get a mortgage, or afford rent, are long gone. 

It's not the fault of the younger generation now that they don't have the same opportunities for independence that their parents had. We all know where the responsibility lies for that, and it isn't with the young. Suggesting that they need to learn a lesson about being financially responsible is rather adding insult to injury. 

Being forced to stay with your parents, because of the economic climate, is already holding you back, emotionally as well as financially. Being treated as if this makes you a burden or an incompetent is only infantilising you further.

Kids need their own lives, that's how they grow and learn to be the people they need to be. The world is ducked, and they're going to have to be the ones who sort it out. I have more faith in their generation than ours to do so, even if they do buy stupid trainers.

 

The laughing reaction was for the last line - the rest gets would get a clap, but I can't do 2 reactions

To be fair, I don't know how he survived renting for 2 years, as he runs a car (for work) where his insurance is over £1000, had to pay bills for fuel/water/telecom, plus council tax and home insurance - and his rent was not much different to my mortgage

I'm pretty sure that taught him financial responsibility more than me forcing him to pay a bit of board!

 

[Gee SCREAMER !!]

I bought my first house - one bedroom for 24k in 98 . sold it in 2002 for 34k . A year later it sold again for 76k .  That house went up in value almost 100% more in a year than it had in 17 years of being stood there previously.  That's when the cost of living/having the money to get the most out of living- became almost impossible in the UK.

I did speak to an estate agent about this many years ago and he attributed this quick rise in prices to lack of availability of terrace housing in the centre of Derby- most starter homes in the city were round slack lane/ off Ashbourne road etc .  The council began buying them in the 90's when they began running out of property in the city and at the same time student lets there hit saturation point - essentially rather than paying rent on the houses - the students family bought the house and then when the student left the city they would keep it and let it out.  

[Angry Ram]

Yoofs today make lifestyle choices, just like we did. In my day it was all about getting your own place and preparing for life. Nowadays other things are more important to them. Travel and material things especially seem more relevant to the younger generation. I was married quite young compared to what, seems to me, normal nowadays (30s). 

I dont agree with @Lambchop with her comment 

''It's not the fault of the younger generation now that they don't have the same opportunities for independence that their parents had. We all know where the responsibility lies for that, and it isn't with the young. Suggesting that they need to learn a lesson about being financially responsible is rather adding insult to injury.''

They do have the opportunities for independence today, just different priorities. Which is fine. Most of the youngsters I know are very cute with their money. They are not victims as the above suggests. We had our issues to deal with when we were their age. I don't remember blaming my baby boom parents that I did not have opportunities.