uttoxram75 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Was due to attend a meeting today so me and a like minded colleague decided to liven it up by looking up the latest buzzwords to see if a) one would be used, and b) could we get one in to the discussion... so we had a quick look and tossed for who had which buzzword to try and use. I ended up with...PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS...really, this is a thing apparently , my mate had, ONE THROAT TO CHOKE....seriously, these are the latest business buzzwords... Anyroads, part way through the meeting a handout was passed round with a huge amount of data on it with our manager asking for comments from around the room, I kept a stone cold poker face when it was my turn and said, "if were not careful we could suffer from paralysis by analysis if we cascade this much data to the front line managers" the silence around the room was only broken by my itk colleague snorting through his nose and suffering a choking fit. As he left the meeting to get a glass of water my manager and colleagues praised me for my insight and honesty and decided to send the data back to Finance to simplify for general use. I'm 1-0 up atm but he's swore revenge. Anyone got some good buzzwords for future reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Get. A. Life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, Lambchop said: Get. A. Life. Its a defence mechanism for coping with life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, uttoxram75 said: Its a defence mechanism for coping with life. So is everything. Time to call it out imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 There are loads of little phrases designed purely to get on my wick. one that particularly grates is “pushing the boundaries “. It’s an old one but a classic for generating lots of nodding agreement in management meetings but which doesn’t bear any literal scrutiny and make sense....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Its "within our gift" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 9 hours ago, uttoxram75 said: Anyroads, part way through the meeting a handout was passed round with a huge amount of data on it with our manager asking for comments from around the room, I kept a stone cold poker face when it was my turn and said, "if were not careful we could suffer from paralysis by analysis if we cascade this much data to the front line managers" Bravo!. Be careful, though, you could end up with a promotion if you keep that BS up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyinLiverpool Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Going forward Too many people at our place use it when they apparently mean 'in the future'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FindernRam Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I remember going to many tedious meetings, usually run by management consultants, where this stuff was endemic. Eventually we put together a (very) long list of buzzwords and phrases and made some cards up to take and play "Buzzword Bingo". Ironically this made us listen that bit harder so probably had a reverse effect to what we expected. Senior Management caught us and were not amused. Later I had to run similar stuff, or present to Customers, and made great efforts not to include these sort of phrases, but it is very hard.. as the actress said to the... My favourite, said as a description of a colleague who was known to bend with the views of the most senior person present, was: He not only changed horses mid stream but changed streams as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePrisoner Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 In the building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuff264 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Lets touch base on that Lets take that offline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stejawh Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Low hanging fruit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 The door is always open. Needs of the business. sometimes you need to take a step back to take two steps forward(ffs!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BathRam72 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Think out of the box More ways to skin a cat. More ways to peel an onion Get all your ducks in a row Eggs in one basket Mission creep Holistic approach. The military is full of acronyms/buzzwords and quite frankly I think the commissioned brethren take pride in changing them at regular intervals to p!ss off the other ranks, that or they are afraid of spies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Dependancies.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I'm definitely going to leverage this one on my learning journey We really need a deep dive and a drains up though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 · There’s a piece of work to be done around…. · So, are we aligned? (which translates as ‘you do agree with me, don’t you?’) · What is the exam question we’ve been asked here · There are other crocodiles nearer the boat · It’s like herding cats · We’re on a burning platform And if one more person shows me that slide with the Batman picture – what you get if you spend 10 minutes, 1 minute or 10 seconds – then I swear I will show them what I can do to their computer in 1 second Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I think it's funny that the word Buzzword is a buzzword. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 ANy mention of the word: Synergy makes me want to vomit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 9 hours ago, AndyinLiverpool said: Going forward Too many people at our place use it when they apparently mean 'in the future'. As opposed, presumably, to going back in time. On task used to really annoy me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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