Death - Are you ready?

[Smyth_18]

I understand this thread has the potential to go absolutely anywhere but i'm hoping we can all put a positive spin on it.

Over the weekend a close friend of the in-laws died suddenly at the age of 53 and i've heard a few similar stories that have happened over this past weekend from people at work.

It has left me deep in thought to say the least.

I've always been of the opinion 'when it happens, it happens' and i can't see that changing tbh.

So this is a thread to discuss absolutely anything on the subject which so many people are too scared to talk about.

[Coneheadjohn]

Having lost both my parents in the last couple of years I would say not.

Slightly off at a tangent but make sure you do a power of attorney for your finances early.

That is the single most important legal document whilst your alive and don’t think you’ll get sympathy or help from HMRC.

They will be like the gangsters from Goodfellas.

Sorry for your loss,now give us the money or we will duck you.

In answer to your question from my personal point of view,in a purely administrative way yes.

I’m sad to hear about your friend.

 

 

[Parsnip]

I listened to Rachael Bland's podcast on the subject yesterday and it was a really good listen. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06hkhx7

Really sad to hear she died this morning leaving behind her little boy.

[King Kevin]

Came to terms with my own mortality a while back .Being a father and grandfather the good bit is you want to die before your kids /grandkids .

The alternative is unthinkable although my mum and dad had to cope with it when my sister died aged 5 ,horrible. As I 've got older I now think if I want to do something /buy something then I do .

They say as you are about to croak it you only regret the things you didn't do not the things you did.Also if you thought you only had a short time to live you should make your normal decisions based on that . Not sure the wife would run with that one.

[angieram]

Short answer - NO.

Long answer, I suppose I've been very aware of it since both my parents died a short space of time apart when I was a teenager.

Consequently I used to spend a lot more time thinking about it than is healthy for a young person.

I've actually got better as I've got older but every time I hear of someone 'of my generation' who has died, it starts the old worries going again.

I just tend to distract myself - mostly with football!

[AndyinLiverpool]

Absolutely ready.

To be cremated just to make sure I am not buried alive and the music will be 'A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers' by Van der Graaf Generator, so everyone has to sit and listen for 23 minutes.

And I have left instructions that everyone is to get together afterwards to slag me off and have a right old time doing it.

[David]

I would like to think that no both physically or mentally healthy person is ready to die. 

Unfortunately it’s one guarantee in life, one that I choose not to spend much time thinking about.

That may change if I was to have children left behind where it’s my responsibility to make sure what little I have is not hoovered up by HMRC.

I hope that when my time does come, nobody is responsible for my death and it’s an age where friends and family can say he had a good innings. I can’t stand cricket. 

In someways I’m lucky to wake up each day when others have lost their lives at a much younger age, through no fault of their own or in some cases the stupidity of just being kids.

Often forgotten when times are hard and things don’t feel like they go your way. 

If anyone is struggling and feel like they are ready to depart this world, plenty of help out there with ears that will listen. 

[Stive Pesley]

1 minute ago, David said:

I would like to think that no both physically or mentally healthy person is ready to die. 

Unfortunately it’s one guarantee in life, one that I choose not to spend much time thinking about.

 

Make sure you at least leave access to your passwords to someone you trust.

[Boycie]

9 minutes ago, StivePesley said:

Make sure you at least leave access to your passwords to someone you trust.

You raaang?

[King Kevin]

3 minutes ago, Boycie said:

You raaang?

 

 

4 minutes ago, Boycie said:

  13 minutes ago, StivePesley said:

Make sure you at least leave access to your passwords to someone you trust.

The last word Boycie the last word.

[David]

7 minutes ago, Boycie said:

You raaang?

Two words.

Zero.

Code.

[Boycie]

You just wouldn’t let it lie.

[McRainy]

I think the attitude we develop towards our own mortality is the most important thing we do in life.

We can't really understand who we are and what our life means until we fully accept its transience, and learn to live in the moment. 

From one point of view, death is the greatest tragedy and abomination, because it takes from us all that we love, and renders all our activities futile.

Seen another way, it is the gift that sets us free to live fully. 

[Gee SCREAMER !!]

1 hour ago, David said:

I would like to think that no both physically or mentally healthy person is ready to die. 

Unfortunately it’s one guarantee in life, one that I choose not to spend much time thinking about.

That may change if I was to have children left behind where it’s my responsibility to make sure what little I have is not hoovered up by HMRC.

I hope that when my time does come, nobody is responsible for my death and it’s an age where friends and family can say he had a good innings. I can’t stand cricket. 

In someways I’m lucky to wake up each day when others have lost their lives at a much younger age, through no fault of their own or in some cases the stupidity of just being kids.

Often forgotten when times are hard and things don’t feel like they go your way. 

If anyone is struggling and feel like they are ready to depart this world, plenty of help out there with ears that will listen. 

One thing that gets me is the rhetoric that were all living longer .  I would say at least 2/3rds of my parent's close friends have passed prior to the age of 60.

Whilst also appreciating the old phrase' there are always others worse of than you' which is always going to be true, this doesn't make me feel better but winds me up more .I am in my forty's now and find myself getting more stressed with smaller mundane thing's, how much longer I am expected to work than I thought 20 years ago and the fact that I should be doing more before I become someone who is 'worse of than somebody else'.

People who are 19/20 now have an estimated state pension age of 72-74 .  That is crazy.

One thing that did bother me the other day is that on ringing  DWP and asking a few questions it appears that the widowers element of state pension was removed in 2016.  Basically if anything happens to me prior to collecting my state pension at 67, any contributions I have made will disappear into the treasury never to be seen again rather than benefiting my wife as a pension top up.  Something to bear in mind if people aren't aware.

[Stive Pesley]

1 hour ago, Lambchop said:

I think the attitude we develop towards our own mortality is the most important thing we do in life.

We can't really understand who we are and what our life means until we fully accept its transience, and learn to live in the moment.

...Stive and Stringerbell stop...look at each other and begin to kiss.....camera fades

[Stive Pesley]

3 minutes ago, Gee SCREAMER !! said:

One thing that gets me is the rhetoric that were all living longer .  I would say at least 2/3rds of my parent's close friends have passed prior to the age of 60.

Not sure it's rhetoric, rather than observable projections that are subject to change. Average Human lifespan in the developed world has been steadily increasing, and the assumption is that it will continue, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if we start to see a change. We've yet to see the long term overall effects of mass consumption of processed foods, mass use of mobile phones, VDUs, cars, modern medications etc

[jono]

 

Will we jus cease to exist I wonder ? Will we become part of “the force” 

I also have this crackpot theory (this might be religious so I might get in trouble ?) that heaven is like some sort of theme park. You arrive and there are soooooo many choices. Nirvana ? .. or fancy a go in Valhalla ? Then there’s always Paradise, the one with the virgins, or sitting on a cloud with some angels playing a harp, or even one where life is as it might have been if everything ran the way you hoped it would in your dreams. You prosper, have a happy loving family who never squabble or get nasty illnesses. Never any wars, leaders just sit down and work out a fair deal. And above all you appreciate it and share that with others. And around mid life, Derby County win the treble 3 seasons on the trot and you get to bore your grandchildren with endless tales. Imagine. 

I don’t  believe in hell. That’s something faiths invented to scare us in to being good. .. Heaven on the other hand sounds good 

[Gee SCREAMER !!]

20 minutes ago, jono said:

 

Will we jus cease to exist I wonder ? Will we become part of “the force” 

I also have this crackpot theory (this might be religious so I might get in trouble ?) that heaven is like some sort of theme park. You arrive and there are soooooo many choices. Nirvana ? .. or fancy a go in Valhalla ? Then there’s always Paradise, the one with the virgins, or sitting on a cloud with some angels playing a harp, or even one where life is as it might have been if everything ran the way you hoped it would in your dreams. You prosper, have a happy loving family who never squabble or get nasty illnesses. Never any wars, leaders just sit down and work out a fair deal. And above all you appreciate it and share that with others. And around mid life, Derby County win the treble 3 seasons on the trot and you get to bore your grandchildren with endless tales. Imagine. 

I don’t  believe in hell. That’s something faiths invented to scare us in to being good. .. Heaven on the other hand sounds good 

Saw Nirvana in 1991 they weren't good .

Don't fancy spending eternity at the city ground.

[jono]

But to answer the OP.

No not ready yet.

just hope it’s painless, without fear,  and I’d rather not be alone. 

Bonus would be knowing I had all my ducks in a row, didn’t leave anyone in the lurch, and at my funeral at least someone to say honestly and with a smile that “he was a decent bloke and it was good to have known him.” 

[Archied]

4 hours ago, King Kevin said:

Came to terms with my own mortality a while back .Being a father and grandfather the good bit is you want to die before your kids /grandkids .

The alternative is unthinkable although my mum and dad had to cope with it when my sister died aged 5 ,horrible. As I 've got older I now think if I want to do something /buy something then I do .

They say as you are about to croak it you only regret the things you didn't do not the things you did.Also if you thought you only had a short time to live you should make your normal decisions based on that . Not sure the wife would run with that one.

Having lost a child I can tell you there really is nothing worse , my view is you never get over it you just learn to survive it 

that and having lost other people close to me brings the important things in life sharply into focus and you realise there’s really no rhyme or reason to it all ,you just have to try to be as happy as you can be every day and be as decent as you can and the rest takes care of itself ,, when your times up its up ,make the best of it every day