Seasonal Affective Disorder

[JoetheRam]

As someone who puts this stuff down to just being a mardy bugger sometimes, I can't offer anything scientific, just some things that I do when I recognise some of the signs you point to.

Make an extra effort to try and do something active, anything. Walking, jogging, rowing, climbing, cycling. Something outdoors. On your own can be better than a team activity I find, but that could be personal preference.

Other than that, depending on your schedule, try a week of eating well. Especially if you can cook yourself - I always find that quite therapeutic. It doesn't need to take more than half an hour. Make a chicken salad or something.

Turn off the TV/Phone/Computer for a set number of hours if you can. You know you're not really missing anything interesting. Maybe read a book? Doesn't have to be owt taxing, sports biographies or comedy are fine.

Try and keep your regular sleeping habits. Don't oversleep, this will make you feel worse.

Hopefully that's a bit helpful.

[PistoldPete2]

7 hours ago, Anag Ram said:

Thanks for the reply. 

One thing to understand about counselling is that the counsellor isn't there to fix you, only to react to you and give you the space to understand your emotions. 

Only you can know you. And only you can fix you. You just don't know how yet.

Counselling can be the 'Magic eye' experience that gives a new perspective but only if/when you are prepared to be honest.

 

Have you tried a light lamp? Works for me in the winter months. Won't help the poster , andy in liverpool. Think it was who  says its a summertime thing for him. Don't know what could cause that. 

[King Kevin]

16 hours ago, Alpha said:

Anyone have to put up with this poo? I've been bad tempered for weeks, getting thoughts and feelings that I recognise as depression I think

And the confidence... my god the confidence just drops. It's ducking balls is what it is. 32 years old and it reduces you to a complete cry baby. Tonight I think was when I finally accepted this poo again like every other year. 

How do you build confidence when the world won't stop kicking you? How do you make big changes to your life without hurting people 

I'm fed up of faking confidence.

Anyone else on their arse?

People have different reactions to this time of year ,I don't suffer from SAD the dark nights just piss me off because I can't be out doing things .My wife on the other hand absolutely loves the dark nights log burner on and all that stuff. 

Go out in the evenings to brightly lit places and find something you genuinely have an interest in not just anything that you think might help.

How do you make big changes ? The only thing I can say is people are quite happy to take, be it time ,money, emotion whatever if it makes them happy or if it's what they want .Some will even take it at your expense and know they are doing it .

At some point you have to draw the line and remember that they are happy about a say relationship  situation but will continue knowing you are not .

You have to love yourself to a degree to be able to stand your corner in life ,by all means give but don't go past the point of compromising yourself  and doing something you are not happy about .

Sounds a bit harsh and I like to look after people in anyway I can but there has to be a limit and you have to think of yourself.

Good luck .

[Alph]

10 hours ago, Anag Ram said:

Thanks for the reply. 

One thing to understand about counselling is that the counsellor isn't there to fix you, only to react to you and give you the space to understand your emotions. 

Only you can know you. And only you can fix you. You just don't know how yet.

Counselling can be the 'Magic eye' experience that gives a new perspective but only if/when you are prepared to be honest.

 

 

10 hours ago, i-Ram said:

I will experience SAD again later this year. Suffered with it for many a year, probably even before there was such a thing.  What makes it worse or better is how l am coping with work, relationships, resting, etc.  @Alphal would really recommend counselling. Not to discuss SAD.  To talk to someone anonymously about the underlying issues affecting your mental wellbeing.  It can be very cathartic just to unburden yourself of issues that you don’t feel you can share with family or friends. 

 

8 hours ago, RoyMac5 said:

This is what you pay for @Alpha - I guess if you don't want to pay then try via your GP. If its seriously affecting you rather than just being 'a bit blue' it's best to get professional help.

 

7 hours ago, coneheadjohn said:

Alright mate,

My Dad used to and my brother suffers badly with the Winter blues.

Gets them down with the lack of sunlight I believe.

I’m afraid my advice is probably no good,it’s just what I do when things get rough.

Try and eat healthyish take a multi vitamin,try and excerscise.

Mentally,try and do everything to the best of your ability.

If you feel like crap tell someone,it’s worth going to the doctors and doing a blood test.

Sorry it’s not groundbreaking advice but just doing the basics well when you’re feeling low is the starting point.

Cheers?

Nice one. 

I think I'm going to give counselling a go. 

Been thinking about it all day. Can't imagine it working for me but I didn't ask for advice to ignore it. 

My next challenge is keeping it secret from the missus. I know I should tell her but it feels vital that I don't considering the condition of our relationship. Anyone that's had a long term relationship will know what a bad patch is. One where you don't even argue. I'm not ready for that level of pressure that comes with telling her that it's getting too much. 

Appreciate the advice. Thanks

[AndyinLiverpool]

17 minutes ago, Alpha said:

 

 

 

Nice one. 

I think I'm going to give counselling a go. 

Been thinking about it all day. Can't imagine it working for me but I didn't ask for advice to ignore it. 

My next challenge is keeping it secret from the missus. I know I should tell her but it feels vital that I don't considering the condition of our relationship. Anyone that's had a long term relationship will know what a bad patch is. One where you don't even argue. I'm not ready for that level of pressure that comes with telling her that it's getting too much. 

Appreciate the advice. Thanks

I did the counselling thing in conjunction with my wife - I had solo sessions and we had sessions together - she finds my behaviour difficult to deal with at times and I think the counselling process did the world of good for both of us.

[Alph]

9 hours ago, McLovin said:

Sorry to hear this Alpha, you’re a good guy. I’ve felt similar over the last month or so but not to the extent you do. 

You said that you work 7 days a week, what do you like to do in your spare time? I know you have a missus and children so the work/social life can be difficult.

Are you involved in physical exercise? Don’t underestimate the effect that physical exercise can do and how it can raise your mood. I know you like boxing which could be a sort of starting point, which I undertake on occasions and gave me a focus to do something I enjoy. Have any friends who enjoys boxing too? Buy yourself some boxing gloves and pads and get involved with some sparring with some friends, it’s easier with two of you, if you’re on your own motivation can be difficult.

Cheers brother. You've actually hit the nail on the head there. What I really want to do is white collar boxing. Everything about it is positive. It's for charity, it's a sport I love, it's fitness and healthy eating. It's just a huge positive. However I'm working 7 days to make sure when I go back to self employed in October that I get the best possible start. Very time consuming but it's definitely something I want to do.

 

 

@86 points

Thanks mate. I'm not going down the anti depressant route. I do the vitamins though. One thing I do struggle with is knowing how I feel about certain people and relationships. You know when you think you know what's best but you don't know if that's just what you want because you're down.

Did you get an overwhelming urge to be on your own whenever possible. Even though that's when you're most down? I know enough to recognise that's depression trying to fight it's way in. But me and the missus for example try to support each other but the fact we both need support.... Do you know what i mean? We energy vacuum each other. 

[Rev]

Can I ask why you work so much @Alpha? In this thread you mention working 7 days a week, and in another you said you'd not had a day off in months and weren't due another one for a month or so.

That's just not healthy mate, you need to have some time for you, nevermind your family.

Is it possible you work so much to avoid the bigger issue you're facing? 

I know what you mean about not telling the missus, but maybe from her perspective it's you who is distant for no reason, she may be relieved if you tell her how you're feeling and it's not anything she has or hasn't done?

You recently gave me some advice, about reaching out to people I care about, which was well appreciated.

You need to follow your own advice and talk to the missus, if you can't be honest with the person who understands you best then who can you talk too!

I hope you find you find your way through it, as far as I can tell you're geniunely a good guy and don't deserve to feel this way.

[Alph]

8 minutes ago, AndyinLiverpool said:

I did the counselling thing in conjunction with my wife - I had solo sessions and we had sessions together - she finds my behaviour difficult to deal with at times and I think the counselling process did the world of good for both of us.

I can't imagine it felt good having to go home from a holiday. That must have been an extremely low point? Having family is great but it comes with a lot of responsibility and pressure doesn't it? The home isn't always the place where you can relax. I frickin hate being at home. Did you find yourself not being the Dad/partner that you want to be and then that put you even more in the poop?

[AndyinLiverpool]

1 hour ago, Alpha said:

I can't imagine it felt good having to go home from a holiday. That must have been an extremely low point? Having family is great but it comes with a lot of responsibility and pressure doesn't it? The home isn't always the place where you can relax. I frickin hate being at home. Did you find yourself not being the Dad/partner that you want to be and then that put you even more in the poop?

I constantly feel I have fallen below the standard the wife and kids deserve. I find myself terrified that I am going to end up the same kind of father my own was - Not a terrible person, just rubbish at being a father. 

The holiday was a low but it kicked started the counselling. 

If you can, involve your other half. Although I have to say I only did so because my behaviour was so very public. 

[Comrade 86]

9 hours ago, Alpha said:

@86 points

Thanks mate. I'm not going down the anti depressant route. I do the vitamins though. One thing I do struggle with is knowing how I feel about certain people and relationships. You know when you think you know what's best but you don't know if that's just what you want because you're down.

Did you get an overwhelming urge to be on your own whenever possible. Even though that's when you're most down? I know enough to recognise that's depression trying to fight it's way in. But me and the missus for example try to support each other but the fact we both need support.... Do you know what i mean? We energy vacuum each other. 

The simple answer is, in a fashion, yes, but as you've surmised with your own experience, I think this is a symptom of the resultant depression. I'm going to preface my thoughts (that's all they are) with the fact that I've never been counselled as I have some weird and foolish resistance to the very notion of it all. As such, I can't speak as to the effectiveness and offer my thinking as a suggestion for what works for many, not for me. Returning to you question, sometimes I would find myself not even wanting to get out of bed and very often, I'd seek solitude. This was not exclusive to SAD though and remains something that I simply have to fight. It's more your common or garden variety depression, it's just exacerbated by SAD. As regards the energy vacuum, I understand fully and perhaps external counselling is the way forward. As I've said, I can't offer any personal experience of CBT and the like but perhaps some external support might relieve a little pressure for both of you. You'd also have the benefit of a professional appraisal of your situation. I would also reiterate other folks' thinking that working 7 days is too much. I understand the reasoning but you really should reconsider your thinking there. It leaves no time for you yourself, let alone friends and family (If I'm honest, my friends are my counselling and safety net). I'm not sure what you do for work but perhaps even re-jigging your hours slightly, if possible, to incorporate exercise and taking a planned day out for time out with family and or pals is feasible? Frankly, I think it should be your top priority right now. 

[PistoldPete2]

8 hours ago, AndyinLiverpool said:

I constantly feel I have fallen below the standard the wife and kids deserve. I find myself terrified that I am going to end up the same kind of father my own was - Not a terrible person, just rubbish at being a father. 

The holiday was a low but it kicked started the counselling. 

If you can, involve your other half. Although I have to say I only did so because my behaviour was so very public. 

The fact that you're worried about what kind if father you are probably means you can't be that bad at it. Everyone has meltdowns, and I think most families learn to accept that. Mrs PistoldPete has long since learned to accept my moods, ugly though they can be. 

[Alph]

On 19/08/2018 at 21:44, reveldevil said:

Can I ask why you work so much @Alpha? In this thread you mention working 7 days a week, and in another you said you'd not had a day off in months and weren't due another one for a month or so.

That's just not healthy mate, you need to have some time for you, nevermind your family.

Is it possible you work so much to avoid the bigger issue you're facing? 

I know what you mean about not telling the missus, but maybe from her perspective it's you who is distant for no reason, she may be relieved if you tell her how you're feeling and it's not anything she has or hasn't done?

You recently gave me some advice, about reaching out to people I care about, which was well appreciated.

You need to follow your own advice and talk to the missus, if you can't be honest with the person who understands you best then who can you talk too!

I hope you find you find your way through it, as far as I can tell you're geniunely a good guy and don't deserve to feel this way.

I used to work for myself and I loved it. Then I stopped and in October I plan to do it again. It means now I'm doing a full time job and doing my own thing at some nights and every weekend. 

The missus saw this thread so I can't really use it now?

Thanks to everyone though. Much appreciated. 

[Bwash_Ram]

I take these during the winter months , really helps.

 

[Bigfella]

On 19/08/2018 at 03:32, Alpha said:

Anyone have to put up with this poo? I've been bad tempered for weeks, getting thoughts and feelings that I recognise as depression I think

And the confidence... my god the confidence just drops. It's ducking balls is what it is. 32 years old and it reduces you to a complete cry baby. Tonight I think was when I finally accepted this poo again like every other year. 

How do you build confidence when the world won't stop kicking you? How do you make big changes to your life without hurting people 

I'm fed up of faking confidence.

Anyone else on their arse?

I used to get these sorts of feelings and it is pretty debilitating but there are other causes than SAD. I suffer from a form of leukaemia and have regular blood tests and these showed that I had a B12 deficiency which gave me mood swings and depression as well as making me tired, as the deficiency prevents blood from carrying oxygen around the body. I now have B12 injections every three months and feel much, much better.

May be worth having a blood test.

[Sexydadbod]

It would be great to hear if your situation has improved Alpha. If not, try not to worry as you’ve done the hard bit. October is just around the corner.

[mozza]

It's been proper summery today..

[Parsnip]

37 minutes ago, mozza said:

It's been proper summery today..

We're all bathing in the vitamin D of last night's spectacle.

It's Forest/Stoke tonight. Should bring the footballing community back down to the wintery earth.

[Coneheadjohn]

13 hours ago, mozza said:

It's been proper summery today..

It was cracking mate?