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2nd Oldest Football Club O'Nottsaurus Forest

stoners

By stoners
in Football Forum

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BaaLocks

BaaLocks

Posted
Posted

Anyone else here the Florest shipdit on 606 on Satdee complaining about foreign managers and then old managers and then saying he wants Danny Cowley in at Forest. I know that people who call phone ins shouldn't be allowed to speak for that very reason but he was a twonk of the highest order.

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Rev

Rev

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, David said:

 

I knew there was a reason he bought Forest...

….Kenny wiped the last remnants of the second sausage and egg McMuffin from his chin, drained his chocolate milkshake and popped the last of the trio of hash browns into his blazer pocket, half eaten.

 

Even though he'd opted for a light breakfast, excitement had dulled his appetite, and now he peered through the grimy windows of the West Bridgford McDonalds, waiting for his taxi to take him to the ground for his meeting, the meeting that had kept him up all night.

 

10 minutes later, the car swept into the car park and pulled up outside the portakabin that housed the bosses office. Kenny sighed heavily as he realised the matchday burger van was tightly locked up, and with a grimace pushed his way out of the tight confines of the hackney cab.

It had been far too long since he'd made this journey, and he wondered if that damn lift would ever be fixed, but as he stood and caught his breath all the memories came flooding back.

The pre match meals, the post match meals, the halftime snacks, and of course that famous European double, the local trattoria menu and Le Bistro Pierre, back to back.

 

His hand moved unwittingly to his pocket, after all Father Time hadn't erased his natural instinct, when he was snapped back to the present day by the cabin door swinging open noisily.

A smile crossed his face, as he took in the leprechaun like features of his old friend Martin jigging in the doorway.

“Top of the morning to you Kenny, have you lost some weight?”.

Blushing now, Kenny did a little turn a la Darcy Bussell, only to be deflated by a shout of “No, it's there on his arse”.

For a so called big man, Keano didn't half spend a lot of time hiding in the shadows, mused Kenny, as the assistant loomed into view.

 

The pair stepped down into the car park, shook hands then invited Kenny to make his way inside.

“Are you not stopping lads” asked Kenny, confused.

“No mate, we've got to go and beat the last remnants of decent football out of the squad before the summer” Martin replied, but make your way into the cabin, the big boss wants to make acquaintance.

 

Now Kenny was properly nervous, he'd never met the boss before, but even worse, the portakabin had 3 steps leading to the door, and after 20 years of Bungalow dwelling he doubted such a physical act was still in the tank.

 

Gritting his teeth, he approached the door, pulled himself into the vacant doorway, and wondered what was so urgent he'd been summoned?

 

His eyes struggled to adjust to the dim lighting provided by the solitary skip lamp hanging from the ceiling, and as his eyes adjusted he formed the absurd mental image of Princess Leia being held captive by Jabba the Hut. He quickly dismissed this, and settled on Jabba meeting Jabba instead.

 

“Welcome Mr Burns, or should I say new Life President and club ambassador, did you bring your passport as requested?”.

 

Kenny couldn't put his finger on it, the hash brown had covered it, but he could sense that life would never be the same again...

 

...T.B.C.




 

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Spanish

Spanish

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14 hours ago, Paul71 said:

Makes me wonder what do you actually have to do to fail the fit and proper test.

 

not sure how they take action in this case.  He's the owner, the only way that could do something is tell him he must sell or reduce his ownership and if he doesn't all that would be left is to suspend the club from the football league until he does so........wait a minute ..........that's not a bad idea?

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Sith Happens

Sith Happens

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13 minutes ago, Spanish said:

not sure how they take action in this case.  He's the owner, the only way that could do something is tell him he must sell or reduce his ownership and if he doesn't all that would be left is to suspend the club from the football league until he does so........wait a minute ..........that's not a bad idea?

Its been hanging over him since before he bought the club. They should have told him to get his affairs in order before allowing him to do so.

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Premier ram

Premier ram

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16 hours ago, reveldevil said:

I knew there was a reason he bought Forest...

….Kenny wiped the last remnants of the second sausage and egg McMuffin from his chin, drained his chocolate milkshake and popped the last of the trio of hash browns into his blazer pocket, half eaten.

 

Even though he'd opted for a light breakfast, excitement had dulled his appetite, and now he peered through the grimy windows of the West Bridgford McDonalds, waiting for his taxi to take him to the ground for his meeting, the meeting that had kept him up all night.

 

10 minutes later, the car swept into the car park and pulled up outside the portakabin that housed the bosses office. Kenny sighed heavily as he realised the matchday burger van was tightly locked up, and with a grimace pushed his way out of the tight confines of the hackney cab.

It had been far too long since he'd made this journey, and he wondered if that damn lift would ever be fixed, but as he stood and caught his breath all the memories came flooding back.

The pre match meals, the post match meals, the halftime snacks, and of course that famous European double, the local trattoria menu and Le Bistro Pierre, back to back.

 

His hand moved unwittingly to his pocket, after all Father Time hadn't erased his natural instinct, when he was snapped back to the present day by the cabin door swinging open noisily.

A smile crossed his face, as he took in the leprechaun like features of his old friend Martin jigging in the doorway.

“Top of the morning to you Kenny, have you lost some weight?”.

Blushing now, Kenny did a little turn a la Darcy Bussell, only to be deflated by a shout of “No, it's there on his arse”.

For a so called big man, Keano didn't half spend a lot of time hiding in the shadows, mused Kenny, as the assistant loomed into view.

 

The pair stepped down into the car park, shook hands then invited Kenny to make his way inside.

“Are you not stopping lads” asked Kenny, confused.

“No mate, we've got to go and beat the last remnants of decent football out of the squad before the summer” Martin replied, but make your way into the cabin, the big boss wants to make acquaintance.

 

Now Kenny was properly nervous, he'd never met the boss before, but even worse, the portakabin had 3 steps leading to the door, and after 20 years of Bungalow dwelling he doubted such a physical act was still in the tank.

 

Gritting his teeth, he approached the door, pulled himself into the vacant doorway, and wondered what was so urgent he'd been summoned?

 

His eyes struggled to adjust to the dim lighting provided by the solitary skip lamp hanging from the ceiling, and as his eyes adjusted he formed the absurd mental image of Princess Leia being held captive by Jabba the Hut. He quickly dismissed this, and settled on Jabba meeting Jabba instead.

 

“Welcome Mr Burns, or should I say new Life President and club ambassador, did you bring your passport as requested?”.

 

Kenny couldn't put his finger on it, the hash brown had covered it, but he could sense that life would never be the same again...

 

...T.B.C.




 

absolutely brilliant mate

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Rev

Rev

Posted
Posted
39 minutes ago, HantsRam said:

@reveldevil - i was scrolling for ages to read the first chapter of this thrilling novelette on the smartphone. Any chance you can serialize it regularly so's i can make sure that I am  at a computer?

 

?

I might do an audiobook me duck.

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NottsRam77

NottsRam77

Posted
Posted

Does forests complete and hilarious end of season collapse, kinda sealed with today’s defeat mean that everybody’s favourite gobshite kenny burns goes into hibernation until the summer and they start wazzing more money up the wall and telling us all the titles going to be theirs by the end of November lol

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TigerTedd

TigerTedd

Posted
Posted

I’ve just noticed that is officially the end of Forest’s season now. Must be nice to be able to knock off early just as the sun starts to come out and Spring starts to spring.

The play offs are just a pesky business that eat into holiday time. I’m quite jealous really. 

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uttoxram75

uttoxram75

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, philmycock said:

From LTLF....

"We have nothing to play for so let's do Boro a favour and give them the win to put Derby further from the playoffs"

....no wonder the crowds are flocking to the Sh1tty Ground this season ? 

Tinpot.

No, not them for having to rely on Derby not getting promoted for their happiness, you for being arsed to even want to know wtf the gumptards are saying!!!!! ?

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