Autism

[McRainy]

Anyone else on the spectrum or been diagnosed as an adult?

[Angry Ram]

My wife works with autistic kids, loves it, very rewarding... However she is showing traits herself now. 

She has a routine for everything. Getting up, going to bed, washing her hair the lot. If I turn a light out before she has opened her kindle she can’t cope. I do it just to pee her off 

 

[PistoldPete2]

8 hours ago, Lambchop said:

Anyone else on the spectrum or been diagnosed as an adult?

No I watched the Channel 4 programme last night, as I think I have some traits such as being nerdy and a bit rude to people. Don't think I am though.

[Wolfie]

I think everyone is on the spectrum to some extent.

Both me & Mrs Wolfie have to have a plan for what we're doing at weekends etc and hate it when things change but then we don't display other traits.

[McRainy]

I worked with Autistic kids for a number of years too, incuding one with Pathological Demand Avoidance. I always felt I had an understanding of their world, but didn’t really make the connection for myself until recently. I’ve joined a couple of adult groups and started looking into it, as it would make so much sense of my experience, particularly the PDA. The diagnostic path for adults looks quite daunting, and I’m not sure if I need to go down that route, but at the moment I’m just finding out all I can. 

[McRainy]

3 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I think everyone is on the spectrum to some extent.

I have always thought this, and it is important to remember it is a spectrum, so everyone’s experience is different. There are certain traits I don’t identify with, like the supposed lack of empathy, but I’m finding out that that is something of a misrepresentation, as often people will shut down because they feel things too intensely. Also, autism tends to be under diagnosed in women, because of a greater social pressure to adapt to orher people’s expectations. 

[Angry Ram]

12 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

I worked with Autistic kids for a number of years too, incuding one with Pathological Demand Avoidance. I always felt I had an understanding of their world, but didn’t really make the connection for myself until recently. I’ve joined a couple of adult groups and started looking into it, as it would make so much sense of my experience, particularly the PDA. The diagnostic path for adults looks quite daunting, and I’m not sure if I need to go down that route, but at the moment I’m just finding out all I can. 

I've read your replies to my posts and you don't understand anything 

[PistoldPete2]

14 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

I worked with Autistic kids for a number of years too, incuding one with Pathological Demand Avoidance. I always felt I had an understanding of their world, but didn’t really make the connection for myself until recently. I’ve joined a couple of adult groups and started looking into it, as it would make so much sense of my experience, particularly the PDA. The diagnostic path for adults looks quite daunting, and I’m not sure if I need to go down that route, but at the moment I’m just finding out all I can. 

What is Pathological Demand Avoidance, Lambchop?

[McRainy]

16 minutes ago, Angry Ram said:

I've read your replies to my posts and you don't understand anything 

See what I mean!!

[TigerTedd]

I got assessed when I was in uni. First being assessed for dyslexia. They did some tests, and they would expect all the results to be at the bottom of the graph, but mine was like a mountain range. So I displayed some signs of dyslexia, but some not. So they sent me to an educational psychologist. 

I found that really helpful. I didn’t realise I needed counselling of any sort, but found it so helpful to talk things through with this guy, and saw him every week. 

He suspected Asperger’s, and it runs in the males in my family to varying degrees. As has been said, it’s a spectrum, so I’m not sure where the line is drawn that says it’s a disability. I have one nephew who is clearly disabled by it unfortunately and will struggle to live a normal life (it’s heartbreaking that he can’t wait to be a dad, but doesn’t really get that you need a girlfriend to make that happen, so I made him god father to my daughter). But I have another nephew who has been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, but he’s living a fairly normal life, at uni, just got his first girlfriend, good on him. 

Anyway, my sisters had often said that they’re kids reminded them of me when I was a kid. But it wasn’t really a thing when I was a kid, I was just described as a bit eccentric. So the suspicions were there, then this educational psychologist confirmed it. 

He sent me to a psychiatrist. I worked in social care at the time, and the problem with autism is that they still haven’t quite worked out if it’s a mental health issue or a learning disabilities issue (or they hadn’t at that point). So at that point is was the job of a psychiatrist to make the assessment, don’t know if that has since changed. 

I went to the assessment, and he wrote his report. 

Mir basically said I showed some traits, but then I made eye contact and was natural to talk to etc. So I didn’t show enough traits to make a definite diagnosis. 

Problem is, after 20-odd years of living without a diagnosis, you come up with your own coping mechanisms. People don’t realise that the things that come naturally for most, have to be learned by those with aspergers. But once they are learned, it can all appear to be quite normal, without showing the chaos and confusion inside the head. 

Anyway, I didn’t see much of an advantage to pursuing it, and the educational psychologist agreed to keep seeing me throughout uni, as he could see it was doing me good. 

Now my wife’s been through some mental health issues (depression / anxiety) and been seeing a psychologist. She’s obviously been mentioning me in these sessions (I suspect I’m probably the primary cause of her stress), and the psychologist has suggested I self refer for some sessions. 

Seems fine, seems like everyone in America is seeing a therapist as a matter of course, so maybe it’ll be helpful to have a couple of sessions. But maybe they’ll come up with some diagnosis for me after all. I’ll find out in May.

Or maybe I’m just weird. Not everyone who is weird has to be ‘autistic’, some people are just weird, maybe that’s me. 

Sorry for going on. Thought I’d tell that story if anyone else is struggling with disgnosis, and the possible pros and cons of pursuing it. I’m still not really sure if a diagnosis is important, but I think, ultimately, I’d like to get a bit of an explanation of what’s going on, if there is one. 

[McRainy]

15 minutes ago, PistoldPete2 said:

What is Pathological Demand Avoidance, Lambchop?

It’s a profile on the autistic spectrum where the person becomes extremely anxious and avoidant when presented with deadlines, pressures or demands. For me, there are certain things I just cannot do, even if I’m perfectly capable of doing them, and actually want to. As soon as there is a perceived ‘demand’ or expectation I just freeze. I’ve always been like this, and have never understood it or found a way to get over it.

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx

[McRainy]

8 minutes ago, TigerTedd said:

People don’t realise that the things that come naturally for most, have to be learned by those with aspergers. But once they are learned, it can all appear to be quite normal, without showing the chaos and confusion inside the head. 

This is what I’m realising at the moment. The amount of energy I expend, and the anxiety created, in just trying to fit in and appear ‘normal’. 

I don’t think it’s a mental health issue; I pursued a training and career in psychotherapy to explore this angle, so was in therapy for years as part of the training, and it made no difference to my basic ‘traits’, although it helped in other ways.  

It seems some people are just wired differently neurologically. It would be a relief to know if this was the case for me. What I’m finding out at the moment has been a bit of a light bulb, as it would finally make sense of things I’ve never been able to understand. 

[PistoldPete2]

17 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

It’s a profile on the autistic spectrum where the person becomes extremely anxious and avoidant when presented with deadlines, pressures or demands. For me, there are certain things I just cannot do, even if I’m perfectly capable of doing them, and actually want to. As soon as there is a perceived ‘demand’ or expectation I just freeze. I’ve always been like this, and have never understood it or found a way to get over it.

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx

I don’t know if this is a trait for me. I suffer from stress , so trying to avoid unreasonable demands or deadlines seems far from  pathalogical. 

[McRainy]

1 minute ago, PistoldPete2 said:

I don’t know if this is a trait for me. I suffer from stress , so trying to avoid unreasonable demands or deadlines seems far from  pathalogical. 

Oh definitely, I think the only thing for stress is to remove the causes, as far as possible. 

The ‘pathological’ bit is where it no longer becomes a choice. With certain things I will just freeze and panic, and be unable to make myself do it. It was a big problem at school and uni where I would sit with a pen in my hand for hours each day with complete brainfreeze, unable to write a word. All my dissertations were about six months late, so I had to get a letter from the doctor trying to explain why. It was far more stressful than actually just doing the work would have been. 

[PistoldPete2]

35 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

Oh definitely, I think the only thing for stress is to remove the causes, as far as possible. 

The ‘pathological’ bit is where it no longer becomes a choice. With certain things I will just freeze and panic, and be unable to make myself do it. It was a big problem at school and uni where I would sit with a pen in my hand for hours each day with complete brainfreeze, unable to write a word. All my dissertations were about six months late, so I had to get a letter from the doctor trying to explain why. It was far more stressful than actually just doing the work would have been. 

I’ve had brain freeze like that but only when the effects of my stress have caused pretty much a breakdown. Mostly I’m ok .

[eddie]

I look at my grandson and see myself 60 years ago. I was 'isolated' and 'vague' and 'prone to tantrums' and 'fussy' and 'obsessed' and 'touchy' and 'rebellious' and 'quiet' and 'noisy' and 'disruptive' and 'self-centred' and 'a showoff' and 'demanding'.

[PistoldPete2]

23 minutes ago, eddie said:

I look at my grandson and see myself 60 years ago. I was 'isolated' and 'vague' and 'prone to tantrums' and 'fussy' and 'obsessed' and 'touchy' and 'rebellious' and 'quiet' and 'noisy' and 'disruptive' and 'self-centred' and 'a showoff' and 'demanding'.

I look at this description and I still am most of these things, never mind 60 years ago. I was only a twinkle in my mothers eye 60 years ago anyway. 

[eddie]

54 minutes ago, PistoldPete2 said:

I look at this description and I still am most of these things, never mind 60 years ago. I was only a twinkle in my mothers eye 60 years ago anyway. 

I still am anyway. All of them - although I find ways to mask the aspects that make others uncomfortable (most of the time).

[Inglorius]

Yes, I was diagnosed 2 years ago with autism being placed as mild to medium on the spectrum, basically diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome. This diagnosis was made whilst I was middle aged, I had to fight to get a referral from my GP to see a clinical psychologist as I had always suspected throughout my life that something was not quite right with my behaviour in certain situations or social interactions.

I have to say that even though I was diagnosed I subsequently went through a period of depression as the clinical psychologist effectively said there was no treatment or nothing they could do for me at my age and discharged me back to my GP.

As TigerTedd alluded to I've developed my own coping mechanisms and strategies throughout my life, sometimes successful, sometimes not. Workwise I hold down a good job, my current employers are aware of my condition but have shown little or no interest in making "reasonable adjustments" to my disability which I have found very disappointing but maybe not uncommon amongst other employers.

 

 

 

[Smyth_18]

Been a topic in my household for a couple of months now.

My wife is scared shitless that our now 1 year old son is showing traits of autism despite working with kids and knowing deep down everybody will show certain traits at times.

For example, he has been a bit 'delayed' crawling (he only started on his 1st birthday just over a week ago and is now everywhere, deep down again she knows children develop at different rates).
At the moment he also has an obsession with books and especially ribbon/ string. He can sit for ages just pulling it through his fingers, extremely concentrating (i look at it as great that he's into books. And the string/ ribbon thing is practicing his pincer grip).

I know this is normal but i sometimes question myself, 'am i just being ignorant and passing it off?'.

I've also mentioned on a few occasions 'if he was autistic, so what? It's part of what makes him, him. And i wouldn't change anything about him'.

 

I've always showed certain traits myself but that's a whole different story.