Jump to content

Pets


Bob Gnarly

Recommended Posts

19 hours ago, rynny said:

maybe throw in lazy as well

Yep. Unless he got a sniff of something - then he managed to cover 3 miles in 5 seconds and I'd be getting a call from some irate pub chef who's found him in his kitchen, or someone having a family bbq at the other end of the village. (Both real examples).

Once, on a walk he disappeared for 45 mins. I finally caught a glimpse of his fat little arse in the bushes next to where someone had obviously been camping recently. I was worried that he'd eaten whatever rubbish they'd left behind - chicken bones or summat - but the truth was far more sinister. He'd found their toilet. I had to drag the disgusting pig home covered in used toilet paper and stinking of the human excrement that he'd spent the last 45 mins devouring. 

Imagine that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Parsnip said:

Yep. Unless he got a sniff of something - then he managed to cover 3 miles in 5 seconds and I'd be getting a call from some irate pub chef who's found him in his kitchen, or someone having a family bbq at the other end of the village. (Both real examples).

Once, on a walk he disappeared for 45 mins. I finally caught a glimpse of his fat little arse in the bushes next to where someone had obviously been camping recently. I was worried that he'd eaten whatever rubbish they'd left behind - chicken bones or summat - but the truth was far more sinister. He'd found their toilet. I had to drag the disgusting pig home covered in used toilet paper and stinking of the human excrement that he'd spent the last 45 mins devouring. 

Imagine that.

Sounds like he was not a Labrador after all. He was quite possibly that rare breed of Lavrador. ??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, Parsnip said:

Yep. Unless he got a sniff of something - then he managed to cover 3 miles in 5 seconds and I'd be getting a call from some irate pub chef who's found him in his kitchen, or someone having a family bbq at the other end of the village. (Both real examples).

Once, on a walk he disappeared for 45 mins. I finally caught a glimpse of his fat little arse in the bushes next to where someone had obviously been camping recently. I was worried that he'd eaten whatever rubbish they'd left behind - chicken bones or summat - but the truth was far more sinister. He'd found their toilet. I had to drag the disgusting pig home covered in used toilet paper and stinking of the human excrement that he'd spent the last 45 mins devouring. 

Imagine that.

Ah yes, food. Only thing worth moving for.... 

That's a brilliant story, absolutely pmsl. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mrs Hants recently regaled me with a tale of her awful day with friend and both their dogs at a local popular walking spot.

our lab, Tigz rolled in an extremely decomposed rabbit corpse, was driven home in disgrace covered in “juice” with mrs Hants hanging her head out the window gagging from the stink.

as I struggled to contain my chuckling she got me with “dunno why you’re laughing, I’d offered to drive all of us so I took your A7”........

 

???

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, HantsRam said:

Mrs Hants recently regaled me with a tale of her awful day with friend and both their dogs at a local popular walking spot.

our lab, Tigz rolled in an extremely decomposed rabbit corpse, was driven home in disgrace covered in “juice” with mrs Hants hanging her head out the window gagging from the stink.

as I struggled to contain my chuckling she got me with “dunno why you’re laughing, I’d offered to drive all of us so I took your A7”........

 

???

 

You're an Audi driver?

This changes things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...