King Kevin Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 As we spend a lot of time with our loved ones a few tips on staying married /engaged /living happily together in the New Year. 1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour more. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4.) Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!KK YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Re; #2, If you want her to get ready quicker, settle down on the sofa with a book or a catch up programme on the box and a glass of wine/beer. You'll be amazed how quick she'll be if she thinks you're enjoying yersen...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Mrs Angry is just happy she’s got me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 If only it were so simple @King Kevin... Unfortunately Mrs Parsnip changes the rules of engagement more often than she changes her... her... ummm... I'll say facebook profile picture just in case she sees. But you're right - the holidays are a dangerous time for all of us. Stay safe everyone x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anag Ram Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 On 11/12/2017 at 15:02, King Kevin said: As we spend a lot of time with our loved ones a few tips on staying married /engaged /living happily together in the New Year. 1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour more. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4.) Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!KK YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN! You are absolutely right to put ‘fine’ at number one. This is a dangerous female term for ‘this is what I have to put up with’. If your Christmas present to her is described as fine, you’ve got it very wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Ram Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Tut tut. You need to find yourselves a lady that loves and appreciates you wholeheartedly. You just made bad choices. That woman at the fans forum last night set the reputation of women back decades. Combo of drink, mouth and audience. Silly b! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilkleyram Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Three rules of marriage that have served me well, in three marriages: 1) women are always right 2) men are sometimes right 3) rule 2 is wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 9 hours ago, Ewe Ram said: Tut tut. You need to find yourselves a lady that loves and appreciates you wholeheartedly. You just made bad choices. That woman at the fans forum last night set the reputation of women back decades. Combo of drink, mouth and audience. Silly b! Ooh. What happened? Tired and emotional? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 There is one missing that I encounter regularly. 10. Do what you like. Similar to go ahead but 'Do what you like' is normally used after the postman has delivered the tickets for the Hull game on Boxing Day and she realises you will not be sat in with her and her family but you will be out cheering on the Rams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramit Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 "It's up to you" If it's something you offered to do, then by all means do it, but in all other cases it means you better not buster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfcfan1 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Goodness me hahaha Glad Ill never have to experience this chore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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