i-Ram Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Jokes about white sugar are rare, but brown sugar - Demerara Alph, Pearl Ram, ThePrisoner and 6 others 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 I keep randomly shouting out Broccoli and Cauliflower – I think I might have florets https://www.nme.com/news/10-funniest-jokes-2019-edinburgh-fringe-festival-2539446#WcFczX3trprXV4GV.99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REDCAR Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 (edited) My grandparents names were Pearl and Dean, or more commonly known as Grandma and GrandpapapapapapapapapapapaaaaaapapapapaPa Edited August 21, 2019 by REDCAR Mucker1884, Steve How Hard?, Stive Pesley and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSD Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 DarkFruitsRam7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 Steve How Hard? and Pearl Ram 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turk Thrust Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 I'm feeling a bit sad today. My wife has ran off with the man next door and ooh I do miss him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 14 minutes ago, Turk Thrust said: I'm feeling a bit sad today. My wife has ran off with the man next door and ooh I do miss him My ex wife ran off with my best mate. Well, he's my best mate now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 I made a graph of all my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis ThePrisoner, McRamFan, Steve How Hard? and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BathRam72 Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. That's just the way I roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 Steve How Hard?, Carl Sagan and Alph 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 I know nothing and Steve How Hard? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 Five surgeons are discussing what type of person makes the best patient to operate on. The first surgeon, from Belfast City Hospital, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second, from Antrim Area Hospital, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded." The third surgeon, from Royal Belfast Hospital , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon, from Musgrave Park Hospital "You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.' But the fifth surgeon, from Ulster Hospital, Dundonald , shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable.’ I know nothing, McRamFan and Pearl Ram 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 Kinder, Millenniumram, Alph and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 DEAR NEIGHBOUR: Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you. Regards Richard Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard. SECOND TEXT MESSAGE: Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Checker had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all. S8TY, Steve How Hard?, King Kevin and 8 others 4 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePrisoner Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 I just want to say to whoever stole my trainers and high-vis vest: You can run, but you can’t hide. cstand, Wolfie, Mick Brolly and 7 others 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Paddy asks Mick if he enjoyed his night out at a Faith Healing Event. It was bloody rubbish said Mick. Even a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out. IlsonDerby, Carl Sagan, BaaLocks and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Stealing clothes from washing lines. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt. Gritstone Ram, Steve How Hard? and angieram 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 SSD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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