Tony Le Mesmer Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I think he's 55 and now going to be a father. I just wondered what people thought of older parents. Personally I find Clooney having kids at 55 irresponsible but not as irresponsible as Des O'Connor who I believe was a hundred and five when he became a dad of late. Ok so they've got the money and the kids financially are sorted but what about the possibility of parental death which obviously increases with age? Will the kids miss out emotionally and miss out on active play and things? Just my opinion but I believe anything between 40 and 50 is well late enough to be having kids and anything after is selfish. Anyone had kids later in life or know of someone who has? Opinions please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 1 minute ago, Tony Le Mesmer said: I think he's 55 and now going to be a father. I just wondered what people thought of older parents. Personally I find Clooney having kids at 55 irresponsible but not as irresponsible as Des O'Connor who I believe was a hundred and five when he became a dad of late. Ok so they've got the money and the kids financially are sorted but what about the possibility of parental death which obviously increases with age? Will the kids miss out emotionally and miss out on active play and things? Just my opinion but I believe anything between 40 and 50 is well late enough to be having kids and anything after is selfish. Anyone had kids later in life or know of someone who has? Opinions please? When you are that caked up you can have kids whenever. Conversely, if you were 25-30 with no money or prospects having kids would be irresponsible. But that's when Mother Nature can take a hand, combined with condom fails. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Blimey the thought of having kids at 55 fills me with dread but then I have had my kids and that phase of life is behind me. He has never had kids, so I would be tempted to say go for it.. They have the means, she is not too old though. (Is she)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Le Mesmer Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 I was just thinking from the viewpoint of the man as an older parent. Take Des O'Connor for example. He's 85 and he fathered a kid not that long ago. He is facing the fact that it's pretty nailed on that another man will be raising his kid and Des will never get to see the kid grow and flourish. I couldn't handle that personally and certainly wouldn't choose that option which is pretty much what he has done by fathering another kid so old in life. I just don't see the point. Ok so anything can happen to younger parents tragically at any time but with Des for example it's just around the corner for certain. Why would you have more kids knowing this? The kid won't have a dad and even if good old Des lives on, what sort of dad I he going to be at over 90 years of age? I just think it's crackers and selfish but it's their life not mine. I'm just passing comment on it that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I have strong feelings about this subject, my old dear was 50 when she had me and my old man was much older, I was taking my GCSE's when my old man had a massive heart attack and I nearly lost him, obviously my GCSE's never happened but I don't think it is fair on the children to leave it too late, I remember not being able to sleep afterwards with the fear of losing them both and the continual fear throughout my childhood, my old dear was a very large lady also which also added to my concerns. my youngest brother is ten years older than me so you could say it was an accident and if it wasn't for a Doctor refusing a termination I would probably wouldn't have survived, one of my brothers had a heart attack in the summer which is a family trait so getting worked up on football forums isn't healthy with my family history so yeah 55 is not healthy and I feel for the little one, I loved my parents and they provided me with all the love in the world but not for long enough really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 12 minutes ago, Tony Le Mesmer said: Des will never get to see the kid grow and flourish. So he gets to miss the backchat, puberty, the birds and the bees conversation and taxing them around? Sounds like Des has got it spot on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jono Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 In guess there is a line somewhere but as life expectancy increases then it is almost ne vitally that we will see older parents. Beyond 55/60 sounds a bit odd weird .. Little chance of seeing them married or having grandchildren and the joy that sort of thing brings I suppose. still on the upside the kids might be better able to cope with parental demise and failing health of mum and dad when they are 30 somethings rather than as we are seeing more and more at the moment ......90 plus year old Mums and Dads falling apart and their pensioner kids stretched to the limit looking after them.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerTedd Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I remember finding an invitation to my dad's 40th birthday once. It looked like a really good do, so I wondered why I didn't remember it, til I realised I wouldn't be born for another 4 years. 44 may not seem that old, but in my case a few things happened. Me and my dad had very little bin common growing up. He was never particularly cool even when he was younger, hadn't listened to music since the 50s, hadn't watched a film that wasn't a documentary for 30 odd years, and didn't like football. So our cultural references were poles apart. My youngest sister is 11 years older than me. I've got three sisters. Growing up the relationship was more like aunties. They were all moved out before I 5. I'm actually closernin agento my oldest nephew. So it's a weird one. I'm not an only child, but I certainly felt like it a lot, with very little connection to my parents. They're not so old that i was greatly worried about them shuffling off the mortal coil before my kids came along, but they are so old now that, although they try their best, they're not half as much use as grandparents as they were to my sisters. And we've had to do what we thought was the final trip to the hospital at least twice now with my daughter, before a couple of fantastic recoveries. But I see other kids with youthful grand parents in their 50s and realise my kids shouldn't necessarily have to be dealing with the mortality of their grand parents at such a young age . And my kids friends all have great grandparents still knocking about, but my grand parents all died way before they were born. So that's the main thing for me. George might make a great Dad. But he'll be a rubbish granddad. PS I was definitely planned. My dad had a reverse vasectomy to have me, one of the first successsful cases. And I'm glad they had me of course, and since I've matured I've become a lot closer to them and my sisters. But I always imagined kids with younger parents had generally better childhooods. (I was quite spoilt though, as my dad had a decent job by the time he had me, and only me to think about, so there's that). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I didn't make it to 40 before losing both my Parents I suppose its better being loved then not being loved at all, some kids have a rough upbringing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Le Mesmer Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 5 minutes ago, jono said: In guess there is a line somewhere but as life expectancy increases then it is almost ne vitally that we will see older parents. Beyond 55/60 sounds a bit odd weird .. Little chance of seeing them married or having grandchildren and the joy that sort of thing brings I suppose. still on the upside the kids might be better able to cope with parental demise and failing health of mum and dad when they are 30 somethings rather than as we are seeing more and more at the moment ......90 plus year old Mums and Dads falling apart and their pensioner kids stretched to the limit looking after them.m My dad died aged 55. I was just into my twenties. I keep hearing that everyone is living longer nowadays and still can't help think they're lying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I had my first at 25 and then my second at 39. I tend not to think about how my age affects my youngest. Mainly because I'm too busy thinking about how my age affects me. I'm knackered! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 No kids and no plan to spend/waste that much money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 1 hour ago, TigerTedd said: I remember finding an invitation to my dad's 40th birthday once. It looked like a really good do, so I wondered why I didn't remember it, til I realised I wouldn't be born for another 4 years. 44 may not seem that old, but in my case a few things happened. Me and my dad had very little bin common growing up. He was never particularly cool even when he was younger, hadn't listened to music since the 50s, hadn't watched a film that wasn't a documentary for 30 odd years, and didn't like football. So our cultural references were poles apart. My youngest sister is 11 years older than me. I've got three sisters. Growing up the relationship was more like aunties. They were all moved out before I 5. I'm actually closernin agento my oldest nephew. So it's a weird one. I'm not an only child, but I certainly felt like it a lot, with very little connection to my parents. They're not so old that i was greatly worried about them shuffling off the mortal coil before my kids came along, but they are so old now that, although they try their best, they're not half as much use as grandparents as they were to my sisters. And we've had to do what we thought was the final trip to the hospital at least twice now with my daughter, before a couple of fantastic recoveries. But I see other kids with youthful grand parents in their 50s and realise my kids shouldn't necessarily have to be dealing with the mortality of their grand parents at such a young age . And my kids friends all have great grandparents still knocking about, but my grand parents all died way before they were born. So that's the main thing for me. George might make a great Dad. But he'll be a rubbish granddad. PS I was definitely planned. My dad had a reverse vasectomy to have me, one of the first successsful cases. And I'm glad they had me of course, and since I've matured I've become a lot closer to them and my sisters. But I always imagined kids with younger parents had generally better childhooods. (I was quite spoilt though, as my dad had a decent job by the time he had me, and only me to think about, so there's that). that mirrors my problems, my mum and dad moved into a retirement village when I left school at 16, imagine moving away from your mates and everybody local to you were 65 and over, my brothers and sisters had fled the nest well before I had even started secondary school and I used to hang out with my nephew, I have no relationship with my siblings, unfortunately. I did become closer to my Father when my Mother had passed away, I was his main carer and returned from Malta to look after him and we had a right laugh about life but unfortunately he fell getting in the bath, he cracked his head wide open twenty minutes after I had left, he had a buzzer chain around his neck that bleeped my mobile when he was in distress and I was half way up the M1 at the time and I flew down the motorway at must have been in excess of 160mph but it was too late, he had gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ossieram Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 2 hours ago, Tony Le Mesmer said: I think he's 55 and now going to be a father. I just wondered what people thought of older parents. Personally I find Clooney having kids at 55 irresponsible but not as irresponsible as Des O'Connor who I believe was a hundred and five when he became a dad of late. Ok so they've got the money and the kids financially are sorted but what about the possibility of parental death which obviously increases with age? Will the kids miss out emotionally and miss out on active play and things? Just my opinion but I believe anything between 40 and 50 is well late enough to be having kids and anything after is selfish. Anyone had kids later in life or know of someone who has? Opinions please? My brother is 57 in August and has just fathered his 3rd child. His oldest is in his 30's and his daughter is 8. The chances of death obviously increases with age, but our mam was only 25 when she died. I was 14 months old and he was 4. He has a lot more patience now than he did when his oldest was born and he is also a lot more loving towards them now. A lot of that is down to how times have changed since his oldest was born and the fact he is no longer in the army and can devote more time and energy to his kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester40 Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Some interesting views...but got to say I think a much bigger and more serious concern are the millions of idiotic fools who are having shedloads of kids with no financial or emotional intention to look after, care, provide or mentor their destined to be feral kids...other than signing-on and trying to get them diagnosed with something that will bring the extra income that will pay for their fags and sky TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Le Mesmer Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 27 minutes ago, ossieram said: My brother is 57 in August and has just fathered his 3rd child. His oldest is in his 30's and his daughter is 8. The chances of death obviously increases with age, but our mam was only 25 when she died. I was 14 months old and he was 4. He has a lot more patience now than he did when his oldest was born and he is also a lot more loving towards them now. A lot of that is down to how times have changed since his oldest was born and the fact he is no longer in the army and can devote more time and energy to his kids. Fair post ossieram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 It's not always a choice. I would have loved to have had kids in my 20's - early 30's but it didn't happen with my first wife. When me & the current Mrs Wolfie got together, we were both approaching our 40's, both tried for kids before & both failed, so we went into marriage with our eyes open that it probably wouldn't happen for us. 9 months later we got a fabulous little girl, who changed the world for both of us. We were 40 at the time & It's a shame that there won't be any more now - if only we'd met a few years earlier..... I do sometimes feel like an old dad when I meet others at kids parties etc, with me being 5-10 years older than most of the others but I think we've been better, more patient and relaxed parents by being that bit older, though of course I can only compare me with what I was like a few years ago to reach that conclusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerTedd Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 14 minutes ago, LesterRam said: that mirrors my problems, my mum and dad moved into a retirement village when I left school at 16, imagine moving away from your mates and everybody local to you were 65 and over, my brothers and sisters had fled the nest well before I had even started secondary school and I used to hang out with my nephew, I have no relationship with my siblings, unfortunately. I did become closer to my Father when my Mother had passed away, I was his main carer and returned from Malta to look after him and we had a right laugh about life but unfortunately he fell getting in the bath, he cracked his head wide open twenty minutes after I had left, he had a buzzer chain around his neck that bleeped my mobile when he was in distress and I was half way up the M1 at the time and I flew down the motorway at must have been in excess of 160mph but it was too late, he had gone. Sorry to here that. Doesn't seem right to 'like' it. Had similar falling experiences with my mum, but she's pulled through them all so far. My parents moved I to their retirement bungalow when I was 15. In fact, it was a 1 and a half bedroom bungalow. My bedroom was the thoroughfare to the conservatory. Often I would be woken from a Sunday morning hangover as she walked the church bookclub through my bedroom to have a coffee morning in the conservatory. Never was there a big hint thatvthey were bored of having kids around now and it's time they started getting on with their retirement. I was 17 when I officially moved into the caravan in the back garden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Le Mesmer Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 Some good posts here and very interesting that they are challenging my rigid beliefs about the subject. I probably did blanket all over 50's who have kids as selfish and I can't get away from that but what I can do is learn to accept a little more peoples decisions and why they do them and try not to be so judgemental. Certainly some interesting and at the same time thought provoking posts by Lester ,Ossie and Wolfie in particular. I do however though still think Des O'Connor is a d*ck. I'm unmovable on that one. It's an interesting point that older folk are much much wiser and maybe in a better position to bring up kids than I first thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 1 hour ago, StivePesley said: I had my first at 25 and then my second at 39. I tend not to think about how my age affects my youngest. Mainly because I'm too busy thinking about how my age affects me. I'm knackered! how do the kids get on with each other? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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