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Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues


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42 minutes ago, Van Cone De Head said:

Thinking about you @Alpha not sure I can offer anything constructive but I’m thinking.

Sometimes people caring helps a bit?

Appreciate it mate. 

There's people worse off than me and I don't need to tell you that. 

Reckon I've lived with massive lows and contemplated the horrible way out a few times over the years. But I recognise what's going on and just plod on. 

Want to do something about it now. I didn't post in here to complain or anything I just wasn't sure what the next step is

And for saying mental health is so out in the open and there's encouragement to talk about it, I'm not sure if there's enough info out there on who to talk to and how. 

I mean I want guidance on how to be the good side of myself I don't want to moan in someone's ear every week. 

Thanks to this forum, again, I've had sound advice. 

Everyone should be on dcfcfans! 

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On 15/09/2020 at 11:49, Alpha said:

Nice one. 

I'm googling now. I don't really want to sit and moan. I have periods of being really positive and upbeat and really just want to know how to hold on to that. 

It's the poor motivation at the minute that's effecting my work. Thats the first thing to tackle. 

I want to take forward steps to get where I know I can be rather than sulk. I sulk loads already

To add to @Tyler Durden’s point, and I can only speak personally, but I found even just reading about CBT a really useful step in the right direction. It mainly helped to recognise cycles of negative thought and why they occurred.
 

Again everyone is different and I don’t want to be blasé and say ‘just read a book’ when some people will need to talk to someone, but learning was a small change that helped me see what was wrong very clearly and made a big difference going forward. 

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7 minutes ago, TuffLuff said:

To add to @Tyler Durden’s point, and I can only speak personally, but I found even just reading about CBT a really useful step in the right direction. It mainly helped to recognise cycles of negative thought and why they occurred.
 

Again everyone is different and I don’t want to be blasé and say ‘just read a book’ when some people will need to talk to someone, but learning was a small change that helped me see what was wrong very clearly and made a big difference going forward. 

Thanks! 👍

It would be even better if there was a way to break the cycle without unloading crap into someone's ear. Can't think of anything more awkward

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On 15/09/2020 at 10:30, Alpha said:

Hey has anyone got anyone they can recommend speaking to? I know @David had hypnotherapy but I'm not sure what step to go in. 

Spent many years with my personality going to either end of the spectrum. But the last few years I've been more miserable than cheerful. 

My wife has been massively supportive and I've leaned on her massively. To be honest I take her for granted and eventually by plodding on doing all the typical basic depression beating poo I find myself feeling good.

However the big problem now is motivation and i'm self employed. I'm not on top of my work and it’s very difficult to do a job I know I love really. I know the feeling of not caring about anything but I need to stay motivated now. Of course my wife is supportive but she puts up with all my poo all the time. I'm horrible to her sometimes. Sometimes I really don't like her. 

I've told her all this but it's not fair to keep piling my problems on her while she never gets to talk about anything going on with her. 

I think I can even be a dick to my daughters on occasion. 

But yeah, I'm fed up of accepting it's part of my personality I have to fight from time to time. I'm fed up of being a horrible Bamford too often. But mostly if I don't sort my poo out soon then my business will suffer and that's a bigger hole. 

I don't really feel comfortable talking to my doctor. Seen a few different things online but I dunno what to do. The idea of walking in and whinging in a strangers ear is weird. 

I would suggest talking to your doctor, who will put you in contact with a counsellor. A GP won't have more than 5-10 minutes anyway but they can get you free therapy/counselling.  

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On 15/09/2020 at 10:30, Alpha said:

Hey has anyone got anyone they can recommend speaking to? I know @David had hypnotherapy but I'm not sure what step to go in. 

Spent many years with my personality going to either end of the spectrum. But the last few years I've been more miserable than cheerful. 

My wife has been massively supportive and I've leaned on her massively. To be honest I take her for granted and eventually by plodding on doing all the typical basic depression beating poo I find myself feeling good.

However the big problem now is motivation and i'm self employed. I'm not on top of my work and it’s very difficult to do a job I know I love really. I know the feeling of not caring about anything but I need to stay motivated now. Of course my wife is supportive but she puts up with all my poo all the time. I'm horrible to her sometimes. Sometimes I really don't like her. 

I've told her all this but it's not fair to keep piling my problems on her while she never gets to talk about anything going on with her. 

I think I can even be a dick to my daughters on occasion. 

But yeah, I'm fed up of accepting it's part of my personality I have to fight from time to time. I'm fed up of being a horrible Bamford too often. But mostly if I don't sort my poo out soon then my business will suffer and that's a bigger hole. 

I don't really feel comfortable talking to my doctor. Seen a few different things online but I dunno what to do. The idea of walking in and whinging in a strangers ear is weird. 

Have you tried St John's Wort?.

I have used it for a couple of years now for bouts of low mood (wouldn't call it depression, as such) and definite brain lethargy which used to last a few days at a time. I knew I was being a dick to people around me but couldn't snap myself out of it.

It's worked for me, anyway.

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24 minutes ago, Alpha said:

It would be even better if there was a way to break the cycle without unloading crap into someone's ear. Can't think of anything more awkward

If you're in the Derby area, you can self-refer to Trent PTS (as in - you don't need to see the GP at all)

https://www.trentpts.co.uk/self-referral

They are only doing phone and video sessions at the moment, but it still works, and is less awkward I find than being in the room with a stranger

I've had a couple of CBT sessions and it's really helping - even though I couldn't have been more cynical up front. To be honest, it's less about "unloading crap" and more of them giving you practical theoretical lessons about CBT and how the mind works.

For me it the principle seems as bit like one of those things you just do on autopilot without thinking, but the second you start to think about it in detail, you can't do it any more. 

 

 

 

 

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On 15/09/2020 at 10:40, Tyler Durden said:

I've seen Cognitive Behavioural Therapists in the past through the NHS and also most recently have seen a private therapist who has a practice in the centre of Nottingham.

It can be quite a lengthy delay getting referred via the NHS even more so now with the Covid 19 implications just as word of warning which is why I chose to go for the private paid route.

As per my post above - from filling in the self-referral form online to getting my first session booked took about a week. Don't pay privately unless you aren't in an area that Trent PTS don't cover

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1 hour ago, Alpha said:

Appreciate it mate. 

There's people worse off than me and I don't need to tell you that. 

Reckon I've lived with massive lows and contemplated the horrible way out a few times over the years. But I recognise what's going on and just plod on. 

Want to do something about it now. I didn't post in here to complain or anything I just wasn't sure what the next step is

And for saying mental health is so out in the open and there's encouragement to talk about it, I'm not sure if there's enough info out there on who to talk to and how. 

I mean I want guidance on how to be the good side of myself I don't want to moan in someone's ear every week. 

Thanks to this forum, again, I've had sound advice. 

Everyone should be on dcfcfans! 

You’ve done the right thing mate,definitely.

I’m going to think about it,it’s a really difficult one.

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  • 2 weeks later...

After reading a lot of posts tonight I felt I needed to say this somewhere and rather than post a new thread thought I’d drop it in here. 

Every single person on here, no matter what their background is has one thing in common... Derby County. We all want us to do well at the end of the day.

In an age where people are encouraged to speak out about their issues, it’s disappointing to see posters ridiculed by others.

for me this is just a forum I look at passingly but for others it’s much more than that. This can really be a toxic place... especially after a loss!

i guess I just want to say be kind to each other, you don’t know what effect your comments can have on others. 

Some things I’ve read on here tonight could be classed as bullying...Just treat others how you’d like to be treated.

We’re all rams aren’t we 🐑

 

 

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Alright @Alpha

I’m no expert but we have  something major next week so this is what I’ve been doing.

Seige mentality,everything that’s not absolutely essential is out of the window.

Family comes first.

Go to work,smile on our faces to the best of our ability,don’t want another issue on top.

Gym,exercise as hard as possible.

Decent meals for everyone,vitamins D3,Berocca etc.

Decent sleep.

Sorry I’ve got no magic wand but I started to feel a bit of a knot in my belly which is usually worrying about what’s happening so this is how I go.

We could have done with a day out at the match but that’s out.

 

Cheers

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4 minutes ago, Van Cone De Head said:

Alright @Alpha

I’m no expert but we have  something major next week so this is what I’ve been doing.

Seige mentality,everything that’s not absolutely essential is out of the window.

Family comes first.

Go to work,smile on our faces to the best of our ability,don’t want another issue on top.

Gym,exercise as hard as possible.

Decent meals for everyone,vitamins D3,Berocca etc.

Decent sleep.

Sorry I’ve got no magic wand but I started to feel a bit of a knot in my belly which is usually worrying about what’s happening so this is how I go.

We could have done with a day out at the match but that’s out.

 

Cheers

Nice one, mate. 

I do try to do these things but it's hard to motivate, communicate or care. I usually just end up glued to my phone (ta da!) or gaming. 

Is it a big week for your lad? Best wishes your way. I know they don't count for poo but good will can't hurt any, can it.

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13 minutes ago, Alpha said:

Nice one, mate. 

I do try to do these things but it's hard to motivate, communicate or care. I usually just end up glued to my phone (ta da!) or gaming. 

Is it a big week for your lad? Best wishes your way. I know they don't count for poo but good will can't hurt any, can it.

All the best mate,sorry I can’t come up with any great wisdom.

A bit of gaming nevert hurts👍

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've not been in the pub much lately so haven't caught up with this thread, sorry.

I just wanted to let you know that there are 4 NHS funded talking therapy services in Derby/Derbyshire and all offer CBT and if needed, some higher level therapies. You can refer yourself  directly to any of them. The details are here on the CCG website (they are the funders) where you can also see ratings of their effectiveness. 

I have a lot of time for all 4 providers - they are a real mix - two private, one NHS and one voluntary sector - they all do a great job.

Trent PTS, Vita Minds, Talking Mental Health Derbyshire and Insight.

https://www.derbyandderbyshireccg.nhs.uk/your-health-services/information-for-patients/improving-access-to-psychological-therapies-iapt/

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What I came here to say is that there is also a new fund particularly aimed at sports and men's clubs, which helps groups develop policies and access training around mental health and in particular suicide prevention. I wrote the successful bid for the Erewash Voluntary Action project, before I retired last month. They will be working closely with Derbyshire FA, see press release about the work here.

https://www.derbyshirefa.com/news/2020/oct/05/new-200k-nhs-fund-to-improve-mental-health-in-derbyshire#.X4QhSlfJgws.twitter

I know many of you are involved with grassroots football, which is what this is aimed at rather than the elite clubs so thought it might be useful to share.

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I use to do my tetsudo and help with this but now I dont have it or Derby to help shout frusrations away but now struggling keep my temper in check at times but dont help with my auriustim and learning differcults but also finding hard coping with pain now with neve damage I just wanting sorting out now really had enough and with lockdown all my basic ways for me coping is getting harder to do now.

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6 hours ago, B4ev6is said:

I use to do my tetsudo and help with this but now I dont have it or Derby to help shout frusrations away but now struggling keep my temper in check at times but dont help with my auriustim and learning differcults but also finding hard coping with pain now with neve damage I just wanting sorting out now really had enough and with lockdown all my basic ways for me coping is getting harder to do now.

No words to say which can help, just keep posting about your frustrations here.

Hope things get better soon for you.

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8 hours ago, B4ev6is said:

I use to do my tetsudo and help with this but now I dont have it or Derby to help shout frusrations away but now struggling keep my temper in check at times but dont help with my auriustim and learning differcults but also finding hard coping with pain now with neve damage I just wanting sorting out now really had enough and with lockdown all my basic ways for me coping is getting harder to do now.

I live with someone autistic so can have empathy with how this is affecting you. I am glad you have found this thread as I think its the best place for you to find understanding ears.

 

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12 hours ago, B4ev6is said:

I use to do my tetsudo and help with this but now I dont have it or Derby to help shout frusrations away but now struggling keep my temper in check at times but dont help with my auriustim and learning differcults but also finding hard coping with pain now with neve damage I just wanting sorting out now really had enough and with lockdown all my basic ways for me coping is getting harder to do now.

Hang in there mate. Football will be back for you eventually. It might feel like forever but it won't be. In the not too distant future "lockdowns" will be a meme. The words "social" and "distancing" will have divorce. Just got to keep grinding and eventually you will at least be able to see The Rams play again. 

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