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Doggo update....he's fully mended. First time at the beach yesterday, wonderful.

Now then ladies and gentleman... firstly I hope you are all well and secondly sorry for the mother of rants which is about to unfold... As some may be aware from the ‘new parents’ thread I made l

I've had some issues and posted a little about my late wife's cancer, ultimately being bereaved, the struggles I had to cope as a single dad of bereaved children and how it nearly finally broke me and

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Having liberties stripped away and our ideas of normal torn up is very unsettling. 

But if you think about why we are doing what we are doing, it's because of an appreciation of the importance of life. 

Many are realising how much they take for granted and also how we spend time scurrying around doing menial tasks and so little time doing the things which bring joy and comfort. 

Do something today which brings a sense of achievement, something which makes you smile and something for somebody else. 

The latter is hugely important. If you can help someone else in any way you will start to feel better about yourself. 

It's a long journey sometimes but life is precious and starts today and each new day. 

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  • 2 months later...

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

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12 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

You’ve come to your conclusion mate, probably took years, hope you are ok and we are here for you 👍🏻

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20 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

Gosh that sounds big. You always come across as a measured young man and I’m sure the decision wasn’t easy for you.

Look after yourself. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

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48 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

Big deal, that

Did you make that decision with a clear head? Given it some thought and sat on it for a bit? 

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51 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

Sounds very tough for you @DarkFruitsRam7. You seem like a very decent and rational person so I'm sure you have made the best decision.

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Just now, Alpha said:

Big deal, that

Did you make that decision with a clear head? Given it some thought and sat on it for a bit? 

Yes mate. It's been brewing for a long while now, and tonight I decided to just bite the bullet. 

I've not written off reconciliation completely, but I've made it very clear to him that it will require some serious changes to his behaviour for me to forgive him. He's been messing me, my mum and my siblings about for a couple of years now, and I decided it was time to say enough is enough.

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1 hour ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

Difficult for me to offer sympathy, empathy, or even advice, as I haven’t had a parent since I was 18... so 39 years now… but what I was going to say was, make sure you are certain. The less regrets we take to our death beds, the better a life we can look back on!

I'm a great believer in “you don’t appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone”, so you need to be certain.

I say “was going to say…” as I’m sure you have indeed given considerable thought to such a decision, and ARE certain you are making the right one, so you don’t really need that little titbit from me, I guess. As others have alluded to, you do seem to have a sensible head on your shoulders when the need arises.

All the very best, buddy. You know where we are, if you need to bend an ear or two. 

🍻

 

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2 hours ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Had to do quite a difficult thing tonight.

I told my dad that I no longer want him in my life. I have very good reasons for doing so (I don't particularly want to divulge them on here), but quite tough nonetheless. 

Not looking for sympathy or cheering up - just getting it out there. I'm going to watch some Only Fools and Horses to ease my mind a little.

Echo everyone else's sentiments. 

Well done for taking the decision, and keep an open mind for the future. 

Stick on bbc this weekend, have a few beers and watch Glastonbury. It works for me. 

All the best mate. 👍

 

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I'll say this, @DarkFruitsRam7, my father left my mother,  and us @Brummie Steve,  for another woman when i was about 17years old (1971-2ish), i swore i would never speak to him again, and didn't, i totally ignored him for 5years. A family friend said to me, after this time, "If you don't speak to him ever again,  you will regret it for the rest of your life". I took these words on board, and 'bit the bullet', and started a relationship back up with him around 1976, we rekindled our father/son relationship to a good standard. Last time I saw him, was on his death bed, in 1978. Life's too short, mate, think about it, please.

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10 minutes ago, mozza said:

I'll say this, @DarkFruitsRam7, my father left my mother,  and us @Brummie Steve,  for another woman when i was about 17years old (1971-2ish), i swore i would never speak to him again, and didn't, i totally ignored him for 5years. A family friend said to me, after this time, "If you don't speak to him ever again,  you will regret it for the rest of your life". I took these words on board, and 'bit the bullet', and started a relationship back up with him around 1976, we rekindled our father/son relationship to a good standard. Last time I saw him, was on his death bed, in 1978. Life's too short, mate, think about it, please.

Good advice. 
everything is black and white when you’re young. When you get older you realise that things aren’t that simple. 

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6 hours ago, RamNut said:

Good advice. 
everything is black and white when you’re young. When you get older you realise that things aren’t that simple. 

Dad was so different from the confused man who left our home that day.

After Mozza spoke to him again he told me.

"He, (Mozza) just said to me 'Ayup dad, wanna see my car?"

That was all it took!

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1 hour ago, Brummie Steve said:

Dad was so different from the confused man who left our home that day.

After Mozza spoke to him again he told me.

"He, (Mozza) just said to me 'Ayup dad, wanna see my car?"

That was all it took!

That's how people should be. I know people who have not spoken for years and years because neither wants to admit they're wrong or say sorry. Yet if one just sent a text or anything with some ******** conversation then the other would jump at the chance to talk again. 

It's sad that time will run out for them before they realise neither wants to be enemies! 

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12 hours ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Yes mate. It's been brewing for a long while now, and tonight I decided to just bite the bullet. 

I've not written off reconciliation completely, but I've made it very clear to him that it will require some serious changes to his behaviour for me to forgive him. He's been messing me, my mum and my siblings about for a couple of years now, and I decided it was time to say enough is enough.

I hope you're okay. This sounds like a balanced decision where you have given him an opportunity to put things right. Very mature.

As you know, I am in the same situation as @Mucker1884  so I know when that door closes for good is a very painful life experience. I hope things change in time for you. 

In the meantime, be kind to yourself. 

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On 26/06/2020 at 23:57, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Yes mate. It's been brewing for a long while now, and tonight I decided to just bite the bullet. 

I've not written off reconciliation completely, but I've made it very clear to him that it will require some serious changes to his behaviour for me to forgive him. He's been messing me, my mum and my siblings about for a couple of years now, and I decided it was time to say enough is enough.

One of the Ten Commandments is "Thou shalt honour thy father and mother", but nobody has a God-given right to push their families around and mess them about. There are limits. I went through that as a young man myself and I know it can be difficult. It's important to maintain your self-respect. Just stay true to yourself and the things you believe in. It can be very hard work,  but I wish you all the best.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Now then ladies and gentleman... firstly I hope you are all well and secondly sorry for the mother of rants which is about to unfold...

As some may be aware from the ‘new parents’ thread I made last year I am lucky enough to now be the father of the most incredible little lady this planet has ever seen, also from that thread some of you may be aware that the pregnancy wasn’t all plain sailing. 

Unfortunately neither does the living side seem to be. Our daughter had corrective surgery to save her life at 1 day old... in the next 44 days before coming home she would go on to have 5 collapsed lungs, 2 cardiac arrests, 1 blood transfusion, 7 ventilations, 2 more surgeries and numerous amount of pain relief/medication.

last Friday though everything was brilliant and me and my wife were finally able to bring her home... the next few days were the best of my life and something that we were robbed of for the first month and a half of her life, we had numerous visitors and for to introduce her to her family.

on Tuesday we went to the park with our other daughter as quite understandably she was quite overwhelmed and a bit jealous about her new little sister... whilst at the park I was feeding Clara-Leisa who subsequently stopped breathing and vomited blood through her mouth and nose. I had to do CPR in the middle of the park on her as the air ambulance (absolutely amazing) and 2 road ambulances turned up. 

Thankfully I managed to get her breathing again and the incredible paramedics and drs kept her going and she’s on the mend.

i don’t really know the purpose of this post but just felt it would possibly help to have a Release.

photo’s included of how she is today as I realise what I’ve written is traumatic and we could be a lot worse... 

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