Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[SSD]

People saying you've done something wrong, then not explaining why really gets to me. Something I really don't like in society. It's so much easier to criticise people then it is to give praise. I can take a hammering if someone tells me straight what the issues are. Something about sly negative comments from people really get to me, upset me personally. I don't understand why. Maybe it's the effects from school bullying years ago. Sometimes it really makes me feel worthless and I can't shake the issue off. I don't retaliate often, if I do it's in a controlled way.

Very bizarre how the mind works.    

Edited November 20, 2019 by SouthStandDan

[Sith Happens]

55 minutes ago, SouthStandDan said:

People saying you've done something wrong, then not explaining why really gets to me. Something I really don't like in society. It's so much easier to criticise people then it is to give praise. I can take a hammering if someone tells me straight what the issues are. Something about sly negative comments from people really get to me, upset me personally. I don't understand why. Maybe it's the effects from school bullying years ago. Sometimes it really makes me feel worthless and I can't shake the issue off. I don't retaliate often, if I do it's in a controlled way.

Very bizarre how the mind works.    

Its not bizarre at all.

I know it doesn't help but those people who do this are generally insecure and find it makes them feel better by bullying someone else. 

They convince them selves they arent bullies because they aren't hurling abuse or physically harming someone.

I think if you were a victim of bullying at any point in your life it can affect you when someone behaves this way towards you because when you have been bullied you often then question whether these people are correct. 

I can't say anything to help other than i understand how you feel.

[SSD]

8 minutes ago, Paul71 said:

Its not bizarre at all.

I know it doesn't help but those people who do this are generally insecure and find it makes them feel better by bullying someone else. 

They convince them selves they arent bullies because they aren't hurling abuse or physically harming someone.

I think if you were a victim of bullying at any point in your life it can affect you when someone behaves this way towards you because when you have been bullied you often then question whether these people are correct. 

I can't say anything to help other than i understand how you feel.

That's true, I do question myself sometimes when folks have a dig. I wouldn't say I'm insecure about myself, I'm mostly happy with my life. I don't feel the need to go after people and give them a hard time. At school, the kids didn't understand that I was quiet and kept myself to myself. Not to be ignorant, but just didn't get involved in all their business. I was happy to chat to a few people and get on with things. Similar to how I work, I'm not a show off, be the loudest person in the office, type of person. I get things done, chat to some colleagues if they have time, go home. I won't discuss work things at home because I try and separate the two.

 

[Sith Happens]

1 hour ago, SouthStandDan said:

That's true, I do question myself sometimes when folks have a dig. I wouldn't say I'm insecure about myself, I'm mostly happy with my life. I don't feel the need to go after people and give them a hard time. At school, the kids didn't understand that I was quiet and kept myself to myself. Not to be ignorant, but just didn't get involved in all their business. I was happy to chat to a few people and get on with things. Similar to how I work, I'm not a show off, be the loudest person in the office, type of person. I get things done, chat to some colleagues if they have time, go home. I won't discuss work things at home because I try and separate the two.

 

I think there are more people like you than you think. 

[dcfcfan1]

Bullying can leave some permanent scars for some people tbh. Dont understand folks who think success in later life such as a nice girl, money or a fancy car fixes all that

[Ghost of Clough]

A few of you may find this worth watching (I did)

 

[ViewsFromTheMiddle]

47 minutes ago, Ghost of Clough said:

A few of you may find this worth watching (I did)

 

Good interview. Thanks for posting.

[Alph]

On 24/11/2019 at 21:26, Ghost of Clough said:

A few of you may find this worth watching (I did)

 

I just came on here to post this too. 

Always though Windass was a lager lout who just had natural talent. A pub player that somehow worked out at the high levels. 

But what a top fella. 

And Tyson is as mad as they come and I think it's great that he's accepted as he is. He says and does some odd things in the boxing world and he was always kind of made to stand by them. But now i think people largely accept that he has pretty vulnerable mental health and he's not perfect but he's trying. He's not a role model in the way we all think of but he's a bloke that does stupid poo and can now be allowed to make mistakes like the rest of us. 

 

 

Edited November 27, 2019 by Alpha

[DarkFruitsRam7]

I'm not usually one to let things get the better of me, but I really am stressed at the minute. I've let myself fall behind with my work at uni, and there's so much of it that there really isn't much time to catch up on it before I have to start revising for January exams. It doesn't help that I absolutely hate the vast majority of my degree, especially now that I've recently seen a potential career opportunity that has absolutely nothing to do with Law. 

Not good.

Edit: I realise that those last two words sound pathetic compared to the genuine struggles of some in here.

Edited December 4, 2019 by DarkFruitsRam7

[Sith Happens]

5 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I'm not usually one to let things get the better of me, but I really am stressed at the minute. I've let myself fall behind with my work at uni, and there's so much of it that there really isn't much time to catch up on it before I have to start revising for January exams. It doesn't help that I absolutely hate the vast majority of my degree, especially now that I've recently seen a potential career opportunity that has absolutely nothing to do with Law. 

Not good.

For differing reasons i know what it feels like when things start to get on top of you.

If i was you, and i know we all differ, i wouldn't let the other opportunity distract me.

The next thing would be sit down make a list that you can tick off that will help you catch up. You need a break over Christmas but to do that you need to organise your thoughts so you don't lie awake worrying you won't get things done.

Think about what your distractions are and write them down honestly. Be it dcfcfans,  beer and so on and limit yourself while you binge catch-up 

Im probably talking baalocks but of late i really do find a documented reminder of what i should and shouldn't be doing a massive help. At the end of each day make a fresh new list and include things you have to carry over,  if it's written down you don't worry you might forget.

Hope you manage to sort and make sure you enjoy your time off 

[DarkFruitsRam7]

6 minutes ago, Paul71 said:

For differing reasons i know what it feels like when things start to get on top of you.

If i was you, and i know we all differ, i wouldn't let the other opportunity distract me.

The next thing would be sit down make a list that you can tick off that will help you catch up. You need a break over Christmas but to do that you need to organise your thoughts so you don't lie awake worrying you won't get things done.

Think about what your distractions are and write them down honestly. Be it dcfcfans,  beer and so on and limit yourself while you binge catch-up 

Im probably talking baalocks but of late i really do find a documented reminder of what i should and shouldn't be doing a massive help. At the end of each day make a fresh new list and include things you have to carry over,  if it's written down you don't worry you might forget.

Hope you manage to sort and make sure you enjoy your time off 

Thank you mate.

I am actually in the process of writing down things that I need to catch up on, prioritising which ones to do first and scheduling them in my calendar. The issue is, I've done this before but procrastinated so much that I've sabotaged myself.

It really doesn't help that I find the subject skull-crushingly boring, but I also need to stop being a moaning git and start grinding. 

[SaintRam]

59 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I'm not usually one to let things get the better of me, but I really am stressed at the minute. I've let myself fall behind with my work at uni, and there's so much of it that there really isn't much time to catch up on it before I have to start revising for January exams. It doesn't help that I absolutely hate the vast majority of my degree, especially now that I've recently seen a potential career opportunity that has absolutely nothing to do with Law. 

Not good.

Edit: I realise that those last two words sound pathetic compared to the genuine struggles of some in here.

I don't check in here very often any more but when you said you were lashing out in the other thread I thought I'd take a look to see if you'd said anything.

All I want to say is this:

All struggles are genuine. It doesn't matter if they're big or they're small, the effects are the same.

Pauls advice is good. Take your time with your decisions. And if you need to, talk to the people around you. When people are aware, they tend to be good at finding ways to help you deal with stress.

Dont fall into the trap of trying to take on everything on your own, and not burden others, because you think your issues are too small potatoes.

I did that, exactly that, and well... things only got worse. Much worse.

[dcfcfan1]

14 hours ago, SaintRam said:

I don't check in here very often any more but when you said you were lashing out in the other thread I thought I'd take a look to see if you'd said anything.

All I want to say is this:

All struggles are genuine. It doesn't matter if they're big or they're small, the effects are the same.

Pauls advice is good. Take your time with your decisions. And if you need to, talk to the people around you. When people are aware, they tend to be good at finding ways to help you deal with stress.

Dont fall into the trap of trying to take on everything on your own, and not burden others, because you think your issues are too small potatoes.

I did that, exactly that, and well... things only got worse. Much worse.

I agree with what you are saying, definately genuine, I have a few struggles myself but I try and keep a good perspective, understand that people are worse off, and get on with it

 

We are all different though :)

[Mucker1884]

I don't think this is out of place here...

all Third Round fixtures will be delayed by one minute to encourage fans to ‘Take A Minute’ to think about looking after their mental health, as part of the Heads Up campaign.

The move will see all 32 ties, excluding replays, kick-off one minute later than their traditionally scheduled broadcast and non-broadcast timeslots, for example 3:01pm, 12:16pm and 7:46pm.

It is hoped that the initiative will raise awareness of the importance of looking after our mental health, with 60 seconds representing just the first step in the journey to improved wellbeing. During the minute delay, fans will be encouraged to consider the positive impact 60 seconds can have on their own wellbeing or in supporting a friend or family member.

 

https://www.dcfc.co.uk/news/2019/12/match-date-confirmed-for-crystal-palace-cup-clash

[MaltRam]

I've had some issues and posted a little about my late wife's cancer, ultimately being bereaved, the struggles I had to cope as a single dad of bereaved children and how it nearly finally broke me and how hard it hit me when my dog got sick this summer. 

I thought I'd just share that I met a lovely widowed lady my age a couple of months ago, and she makes me happy. I make her happy. We're a couple now. Things can and do get better, no matter what life throws at you, you can smile again. Hang in there people.

[Smyth_18]

I force myself to try and look at everything in a positive light. I try to be a good person every single day. Sometimes it seems like I'm getting somewhere. Then I get hit harder than ever.

This week has been such a long story but to cut it short, my wife is not in a good way. It started with a twitching eye on Wednesday but has moved on to full blown facial paralysis and now full body tremors. I've just had to transport her to bed. The past few days I've had next to no sleep with hospital visits. Getting nowhere with wards contradicting eachother. As well as taking care of a potentially autistic 2 and a half year old. Yes we have help but not enough. It can be a hindrance at times.

How am I supposed to go back to work and actually earn money to live too? 

[Smyth_18]

On 10/12/2019 at 20:45, Needlesh said:

I've had some issues and posted a little about my late wife's cancer, ultimately being bereaved, the struggles I had to cope as a single dad of bereaved children and how it nearly finally broke me and how hard it hit me when my dog got sick this summer. 

I thought I'd just share that I met a lovely widowed lady my age a couple of months ago, and she makes me happy. I make her happy. We're a couple now. Things can and do get better, no matter what life throws at you, you can smile again. Hang in there people.

Just read this and it was a bit of comfort. Thank you.

[i-Ram]

27 minutes ago, Smyth_18 said:

I force myself to try and look at everything in a positive light. I try to be a good person every single day. Sometimes it seems like I'm getting somewhere. Then I get hit harder than ever.

This week has been such a long story but to cut it short, my wife is not in a good way. It started with a twitching eye on Wednesday but has moved on to full blown facial paralysis and now full body tremors. I've just had to transport her to bed. The past few days I've had next to no sleep with hospital visits. Getting nowhere with wards contradicting eachother. As well as taking care of a potentially autistic 2 and a half year old. Yes we have help but not enough. It can be a hindrance at times.

How am I supposed to go back to work and actually earn money to live too? 

Look after yourself buddy; stay strong.  The Hospital will hopefully get to grips with the issue quickly, and you must try to be positive for both your wife and child. Your wife in particular will need great reassurance at this time.  

[RoyMac5]

11 minutes ago, i-Ram said:

Look after yourself buddy; stay strong.  The Hospital will hopefully get to grips with the issue quickly, and you must try to be positive for both your wife and child. Your wife in particular will need great reassurance at this time.  

Thanks for saying such a positive message, @Smyth_18 you must be having an unbelievably difficult time. I wish you nothing but the best. I hope things turn around for you soon mate.

[Mucker1884]

So, yer mam dies in her early 40's, when you are 16.  2 years later, yer dad dies, still in his 40's, albeit 49.  This leaves you, as an 18 year old only boy, 3 elder sisters (21, 24 & 27), and the baby of the bunch, little sis who is still only 9 at this stage.

I guess what happens next is you start to wonder... will I manage to live a bit longer than my parents?... who will be the first sibling to cop it... and when!
Those thoughts have never left me.  4 of us have since lived longer than our parents, thankfully.  Baby sis has now lived longer than mum, and is closing in on the age dad was, so all good there, I guess.

I have to admit, on the day I equalled Dad's age, I was a little bit emotional, if truth be told.  Relief?  Guilt?  No idea, but it was a weird feeling!

But the one thing I have literally been dreading since being left an "orphan"... over 39 years ago now... is the first of us siblings going. 

...It happened last night! 

The sister up from me (so the third eldest) lasted until she was 60.... and two months.  I guess we shouldn't moan, given the family history, but I can't describe the gut-wrenching feeling, now the first one of us has gone!  This is the day I have been dreading for over 39 bloody years!

Depressed?  No.  Not in the true sense.

Anxious?  You bet!

Stress?  Not yet, but I'm sure that will come, as we try and help our 24 year old nephew (Sis's only child) through the next few days, weeks, and maybe even years.  Lot's to do.  Lot's to sort out.  Him and us.  There's no-one else to do it!

The first of my siblings gone... out of the blue... no warning!  Suddenly, I no longer feel immortal!
Eldest sis (67 next month) is feeling guilty, not being the first to go!
Baby sis is distraught, and now has to face her first close-relative mourning since becoming a 9 year old orphan!

Being old fashioned, I feel the need to take the lead.  To be practical.  The only boy, and all that!  Time to become a man!  Time to take charge, I guess, and stay strong for my remaining 3 sisters, and my nephew... but I can't help but feel vulnerable this morning, if truth be told.
Thankfully, I have the strongest, most wonderful wife tight by my side, so all is not lost!

I'm sure I'm not the first to lose a sibling, of course, but right now, feeling the way I do, a feeling I've never experienced before, is daunting to say the least.
It feels different to losing a parent.  It feels different to losing a granddaughter at 1 hour old.  Maybe not worse.  Maybe not easier.  But closer, I guess.  More frightening.  Too close for comfort!

Not looking for sympathy.  Just an ear.  Just a shoulder to lean on.  I may be back, I may not.  Having not been through this particular emotion, I really don't know what happens next!

 

PS:
Yes... yesterday's game really was poo, wasn't it!