Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[B4ev6is]

Hey paul71 I will help you if I can and always will.

[SSD]

13 hours ago, Needlesh said:

 

I don't think I can say this without sounding a dick, but I'm going to hope you get it anyway...

I'm comfortably well off, but my missus passed away. I'd reverse those things in a heartbeat.

Life deals harsh cards sometimes; people and employers can be shitbags. You'll get through being skint, so long as you stick together for each other...and then you won't be skint, and you'll be stronger for the shared effort. Good luck SSD.

Thank you Needlesh, and I'm sorry for your loss.

I had a breakdown yesterday, which I've not done in a while, because I feel I trust people who don't give anything back. Maybe that's me being a honest person. You're right, people and employers are shitbags. They never give me anything in return, yet I don't understand why I feel so hurt by it. Is it caring for the job too much?  

[MaltRam]

9 hours ago, SouthStandDan said:

Thank you Needlesh, and I'm sorry for your loss.

I had a breakdown yesterday, which I've not done in a while, because I feel I trust people who don't give anything back. Maybe that's me being a honest person. You're right, people and employers are shitbags. They never give me anything in return, yet I don't understand why I feel so hurt by it. Is it caring for the job too much?  

Being human mate...you've got emotions. Grim sometimes. Joyous at others. 

If you get the chance, see if you can get some counselling through your GP. Sounds a bit airy-fairy, I know, but it seems to be doing me some good. Helps you to reflect and put things in perspective.

[Rev]

9 hours ago, SouthStandDan said:

Thank you Needlesh, and I'm sorry for your loss.

I had a breakdown yesterday, which I've not done in a while, because I feel I trust people who don't give anything back. Maybe that's me being a honest person. You're right, people and employers are shitbags. They never give me anything in return, yet I don't understand why I feel so hurt by it. Is it caring for the job too much?  

Some practical advice.

You say you were offered a substantial pay rise, yet your employer has rowed back on the promise.

Get yourself busy on the recruitment ads on the major sites, looking for similar roles and location to what you do now. 

If that information supports your case, pull it into a document, stating clearly your grievance, why you deserve more money, the fact you were promised more and so on. It's much easier to make a case when it's evidence based, rather than going in on a feeling you're being short changed.

Emphasize the parts of your job where you go above and beyond what is strictly necessary to fulfil your role, back those examples up with evidence, while not doing down colleagues who don't exhibit such qualities.

Most of all try to keep calm and emotionless when presenting your case, even if they push back against your assertions. 

You need to aim for the feel they need you more than you need them, while not talking yourself out of a job in the process.

In short, make it factual and they'll have little argument against it.

 

 

[Leeds Ram]

Having a pretty shocking few weeks. 

[DarkFruitsRam7]

5 hours ago, Leeds Ram said:

Having a pretty shocking few weeks. 

Fancy talking about it?

[Alph]

7 hours ago, Leeds Ram said:

Having a pretty shocking few weeks. 

Spill it all on here. Sometimes helps but I doubt it ever hinders

[Leeds Ram]

3 hours ago, Alpha said:

Spill it all on here. Sometimes helps but I doubt it ever hinders

I've moved back to leeds following staying at home for the summer. I don't really know anyone here so seeing people is rather difficult and i don't really have much social time at all. I also told a really close friend that i wanted to be more than just friends which she wasn't happy about. I really struggle to read body language and we'd been sleeping in the same bed a lot, spending a lot of time together despite the fact she lives a way away and talking every day for hours on end. We're still close friends and after 4-5 days we were talking as normal which i'm happy about but it just feels really weird and it's not easy. 

I'm also going into the second year of my PhD and panicking slightly as there is still so much to do. Despite my work being theoretical rather than empirical it just feels like an insurmountable climb. I worry about my future prospects as well, the job market is crazily crowded and i need to do something to stand out which thus far i definitely have not done. 

 

I guess finally I'm just struggling to gain any motivation for almost anything. I'm getting work done but it's a real slog to get out of bed, shower and do all the other things to actually get to the university to get work done. Today, I've just opted to stay at home and try and do something from the sofa.  This is probably linked to feeling miserable a lot of the time since i got back to leeds about a month ago. 

 

 

[Rev]

3 hours ago, Leeds Ram said:

I've moved back to leeds following staying at home for the summer. I don't really know anyone here so seeing people is rather difficult and i don't really have much social time at all. I also told a really close friend that i wanted to be more than just friends which she wasn't happy about. I really struggle to read body language and we'd been sleeping in the same bed a lot, spending a lot of time together despite the fact she lives a way away and talking every day for hours on end. We're still close friends and after 4-5 days we were talking as normal which i'm happy about but it just feels really weird and it's not easy. 

I'm also going into the second year of my PhD and panicking slightly as there is still so much to do. Despite my work being theoretical rather than empirical it just feels like an insurmountable climb. I worry about my future prospects as well, the job market is crazily crowded and i need to do something to stand out which thus far i definitely have not done. 

 

I guess finally I'm just struggling to gain any motivation for almost anything. I'm getting work done but it's a real slog to get out of bed, shower and do all the other things to actually get to the university to get work done. Today, I've just opted to stay at home and try and do something from the sofa.  This is probably linked to feeling miserable a lot of the time since i got back to leeds about a month ago. 

 

 

Sorry to read about your struggles.

The only people alive who haven't crashed and burned when it comes to matters of the heart are those who can't find the courage to admit their feelings.

It hurts and feels weird now, but eventually you'll be glad you told her, regret at not taking a chance can last a lifetime.

I often take on, or get assigned tasks that seem daunting on the face of it, yet most complicated assignments can be broken down into simpler, more achievable targets that eventually add up to a finished project.

If you can take the same approach, split the work into blocks, then tackle the hardest problems first if possible.

Once they are completed, you'll feel mentally it gets easier the further you progress, having broken the back of the task!

Finally, as for being miserable being back in Leeds, that's a perfectly normal reaction to life there, it's only temporary and will disappear when you leave!

 

 

[dcfcfan1]

1 hour ago, reverendo de duivel said:

Sorry to read about your struggles.

The only people alive who haven't crashed and burned when it comes to matters of the heart are those who can't find the courage to admit their feelings.

It hurts and feels weird now, but eventually you'll be glad you told her, regret at not taking a chance can last a lifetime.

I often take on, or get assigned tasks that seem daunting on the face of it, yet most complicated assignments can be broken down into simpler, more achievable targets that eventually add up to a finished project.

If you can take the same approach, split the work into blocks, then tackle the hardest problems first if possible.

Once they are completed, you'll feel mentally it gets easier the further you progress, having broken the back of the task!

Finally, as for being miserable being back in Leeds, that's a perfectly normal reaction to life there, it's only temporary and will disappear when you leave!

Fair play to you, more than Ill ever done lol @leedsram

 

On a serious note, better to fail and have no regrets than not try and always be thinking "what if, what if"

 

I cant and never be able to relate to you with regards with your issues with your close friend, but theres been plenty of times in the past where Ive ended up regretting the things that I HAVENT DONE instead

1 hour ago, reverendo de duivel said:

 

 

[Leeds Ram]

1 hour ago, reverendo de duivel said:

Sorry to read about your struggles.

The only people alive who haven't crashed and burned when it comes to matters of the heart are those who can't find the courage to admit their feelings.

It hurts and feels weird now, but eventually you'll be glad you told her, regret at not taking a chance can last a lifetime.

I often take on, or get assigned tasks that seem daunting on the face of it, yet most complicated assignments can be broken down into simpler, more achievable targets that eventually add up to a finished project.

If you can take the same approach, split the work into blocks, then tackle the hardest problems first if possible.

Once they are completed, you'll feel mentally it gets easier the further you progress, having broken the back of the task!

Finally, as for being miserable being back in Leeds, that's a perfectly normal reaction to life there, it's only temporary and will disappear when you leave!

 

 

Yeah you're not wrong I guess. It's better knowing than wondering and not knowing. Thanks for the advice on the project ? Aha yeah that's true 

[Leeds Ram]

26 minutes ago, dcfcfan1 said:

Fair play to you, more than Ill ever done lol @leedsram

 

On a serious note, better to fail and have no regrets than not try and always be thinking "what if, what if"

 

I cant and never be able to relate to you with regards with your issues with your close friend, but theres been plenty of times in the past where Ive ended up regretting the things that I HAVENT DONE instead

 

Yeah you're not wrong i guess. I was worried i'd crashed the friendship but that's all sorted so am at least relieved and happy about that. 

[dcfcfan1]

1 hour ago, Leeds Ram said:

Yeah you're not wrong i guess. I was worried i'd crashed the friendship but that's all sorted so am at least relieved and happy about that. 

Glad that  you actually care about the friendship too. A lot of guys dont. They just want to score lol

[Leeds Ram]

18 minutes ago, dcfcfan1 said:

Glad that  you actually care about the friendship too. A lot of guys dont. They just want to score lol

I care more about staying friends than anything else. We've known each other for coming on five years and are really close. I'd be devastated if that ended. 

[dcfcfan1]

3 minutes ago, Leeds Ram said:

I care more about staying friends than anything else. We've known each other for coming on five years and are really close. I'd be devastated if that ended. 

A proper man

 

Anyone can be thoughtful and dignified when things are going their way and they are getting what they want from the other person. But it takes a truely remarkable man to stay considerate and put others before him when things arent going his way, and when the chips are against him

[Leeds Ram]

2 minutes ago, dcfcfan1 said:

A proper man

 

Anyone can be thoughtful and dignified when things are going their way and they are getting what they want from the other person. But it takes a truely remarkable man to stay considerate and put others before him when things arent going his way, and when the chips are against him

Thanks ? Well it's just the right thing to do, the last thing i'd want to do is hurt or upset her. Thanks for all the advice btw i appreciate it ? 

[dcfcfan1]

Just now, Leeds Ram said:

Thanks ? Well it's just the right thing to do, the last thing i'd want to do is hurt or upset her. Thanks for all the advice btw i appreciate it ? 

No problem

[Sith Happens]

Thanks everyone for the comments. I do feel better, to be honest I was so tired, coming off the meds, i had a sickness bug that still getting over. Think my head just imploded.

@David please cancel my request if possible to delete my account.

[Millenniumram]

On 10/10/2019 at 15:11, Leeds Ram said:

I've moved back to leeds following staying at home for the summer. I don't really know anyone here so seeing people is rather difficult and i don't really have much social time at all. I also told a really close friend that i wanted to be more than just friends which she wasn't happy about. I really struggle to read body language and we'd been sleeping in the same bed a lot, spending a lot of time together despite the fact she lives a way away and talking every day for hours on end. We're still close friends and after 4-5 days we were talking as normal which i'm happy about but it just feels really weird and it's not easy. 

I'm also going into the second year of my PhD and panicking slightly as there is still so much to do. Despite my work being theoretical rather than empirical it just feels like an insurmountable climb. I worry about my future prospects as well, the job market is crazily crowded and i need to do something to stand out which thus far i definitely have not done. 

 

I guess finally I'm just struggling to gain any motivation for almost anything. I'm getting work done but it's a real slog to get out of bed, shower and do all the other things to actually get to the university to get work done. Today, I've just opted to stay at home and try and do something from the sofa.  This is probably linked to feeling miserable a lot of the time since i got back to leeds about a month ago. 

 

 

Uni of Leeds? You’re not the only one up there from here mate ?

And feeling miserable in Leeds is a perfectly normal feeling, it’s a shitehole full of obnoxious dheads. Trouble is, you can get a decent degree there. Every cloud I guess...?

[Leeds Ram]

8 hours ago, Millenniumram said:

Uni of Leeds? You’re not the only one up there from here mate ?

And feeling miserable in Leeds is a perfectly normal feeling, it’s a shitehole full of obnoxious dheads. Trouble is, you can get a decent degree there. Every cloud I guess...?

Yeah I'm at Uni of Leeds ?  Yeah you're not wrong on any of those things ?