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Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues


Mostyn6

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15 hours ago, Ovis aries said:

Yesterday and our current form must be a modicum of help does it not.

It certainly has put a spring in my step and I needed it for other reasons.

This may only be semi serious, but there's a lot of truth in it. The great thing about having a passion like supporting a football team is that it makes you feel alive. If I stopped jumping for joy when a Derby goal hits the back of the net, or if I felt perfectly comfortable watching a goal drought-suffering Chris Martin step up to an equalising penalty against the league leaders, I'd absolutely seek help.

Right now, I live for the football at the weekend. And it still makes me feel alive. That puts me at ease quite a lot. Even the heartache at Wembley is an experience I wouldn't undo, because it was an experience of raw emotion and I'd hate to lose that.

Always enjoy the little things.

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4 minutes ago, Tombo said:

This may only be semi serious, but there's a lot of truth in it. The great thing about having a passion like supporting a football team is that it makes you feel alive. If I stopped jumping for joy when a Derby goal hits the back of the net, or if I felt perfectly comfortable watching a goal drought-suffering Chris Martin step up to an equalising penalty against the league leaders, I'd absolutely seek help.

Right now, I live for the football at the weekend. And it still makes me feel alive. That puts me at ease quite a lot. Even the heartache at Wembley is an experience I wouldn't undo, because it was an experience of raw emotion and I'd hate to lose that.

Always enjoy the little things.

It works for me.

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Alpha mentioned wanting/needing a time machine to deal with some of his issues. Personally, I think depression/stress can be debilitating because of looking back - you do have to start looking forward. Paint a picture of what you want your future to look like, and then start making some decisions (however small) that start leading you to where or who you want to be. Some decisions will be difficult, and taking advice and counsel from impartial third parties is key.  

As some others on here have said, exercise is good for a healthy clear mind and in truth alcohol intake should be avoided/reduced during periods of depression. It rarely helps.

One thing I created many years ago - not played it for a long time in truth - was a "happy tape". It was a tape with music on that made me smile, laugh, dance. It wasn't a tape of my favourite songs per se, and in fact I can't recall it having any of my favourite groups on it (but Radiohead aren't great for depression either), more simply music and songs that just gave me a lift, an adrenalin hit. I know nothing else about them, but still The New Radicals "you get what you give" (or something like that) makes me just want to bounce all over the place.

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I know I started this thread, and I'm not sure what my intention was when I did so.

I'm about to break up from work shortly, and historically, watching everyone shoot off to be with families and enjoy the Christmas period, gives me the empty feeling which envelops my mind and ultimately ends with me feeling very sorry for myself and envious of what others have. I usually don't want to speak to anyone over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and even turn my phone off.

If my closer friends knew I was home alone on Christmas day, they'd slaughter me. I get invites for Christmas dinner, but feel strongly that it's a family day and don't want to be burden on people so tell them I am eating lunch with my gran. Sadly, as with others on here, my gran's mental state is deteriorating quite rapidly over the last few months, and as with Alpha, I share a very close bond with her, which I don't have with anyone else in the family. I'm thankful that my gran will be fussed over by my Uncle's family, but this invite does not extend to myself. Although I imagine if they knew I would be alone, they would insist I joined them.

I'm only posting this now in case anyone else is in a similar situation, and it's helped me knowing I am not unique when it comes to stuff like this.

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You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

I'm pretty sure your friends don't invite you out of pity, and they wouldn't see you as a burden.

Have you ever thought that maybe they invite you because they love you and see you as part of the family?

You should take heart from their invites @Mostyn6, having people want to spend the day with you, rather than being obligated to, says it all really.

Merry Christmas! 

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Mostyn,

Would you ever invite someone for Xmas day if it wasn't genuine?

I wouldn't.  It's an important day. A family day in an otherwise busy year. People are crazy busy all the other days and I can't see them messing Xmas up just to be nice.

Take the offer man. 

Bite the bullet. Take the branch.

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On 20/12/2015 at 18:35, rynny said:

My grandad had alzheimers, and it was horrible. My heart goes out to anyone who has any relation or friend suffering from it. When it really kicked in with him he thought he was 21 again, (I guess it was a good time for him) he was in a home and was trying it on with all the female guests there, he was a player in his day and that was his dominant characteristic that came out.

If you want to chat about drop me a pm.

Bet it's a weird comfort that he's gone to a time he was happy? 

 

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well my old dear bless her had vascular dementia which is closely resembles alzheimers, she was present but only in body, her mind had completely gone and stopped eating due to losing the ability to swallow (no reflex), my dad struggled for two years before having to put her in a home and she fell away very quickly and finally passed weighing five stone, she went in the home weighing approximately twenty stone.

when my dad had recovered from all this trauma and the dislike of living alone he decided to move into a house with a close female friend and she started showing symptoms of dementia, unfortunately my old man passed away last year and this will be the first year I don't have him for Christmas dinner, blessing he didn't have to cope too long with someone else with dementia.

only good thing is I can return to Malta next year now both my parents have gone.

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I think being invited over for Christmas by your friends shows someone must care about you a lot Mostyn (god knows why ;)). Like you said, it's a family day. The fact that this person wants you to be there too shows that they consider you close enough to want to spend the family day with them too.

I wouldn't invite someone over for Christmas unless I genuinely considered them as good as family. If I were you I'd go, it can't be worse than being alone. Have a few drinks, smile, laugh, eat, watch **** TV, fall asleep, wait for Derby to top the table around 24 hours later. Just a list of few things that are much more enjoyable done in the company of others!

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On ‎20‎/‎12‎/‎2015 at 18:35, rynny said:

My grandad had alzheimers, and it was horrible. My heart goes out to anyone who has any relation or friend suffering from it. When it really kicked in with him he thought he was 21 again, (I guess it was a good time for him) he was in a home and was trying it on with all the female guests there, he was a player in his day and that was his dominant characteristic that came out.

If you want to chat about drop me a pm.

Bloody hell rynny, hope I don't have to spend my last years chasing people down Dairy House Road to Ivy Square!

Me old man's got the vascular dementia type, he's fine at the moment but will gradually deteriorate.

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15 minutes ago, uttoxram75 said:

Bloody hell rynny, hope I don't have to spend my last years chasing people down Dairy House Road to Ivy Square!

Me old man's got the vascular dementia type, he's fine at the moment but will gradually deteriorate.

Billy Davies has a lot to answer for:blink:

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21 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

I know I started this thread, and I'm not sure what my intention was when I did so.

I'm about to break up from work shortly, and historically, watching everyone shoot off to be with families and enjoy the Christmas period, gives me the empty feeling which envelops my mind and ultimately ends with me feeling very sorry for myself and envious of what others have. I usually don't want to speak to anyone over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and even turn my phone off.

If my closer friends knew I was home alone on Christmas day, they'd slaughter me. I get invites for Christmas dinner, but feel strongly that it's a family day and don't want to be burden on people so tell them I am eating lunch with my gran. Sadly, as with others on here, my gran's mental state is deteriorating quite rapidly over the last few months, and as with Alpha, I share a very close bond with her, which I don't have with anyone else in the family. I'm thankful that my gran will be fussed over by my Uncle's family, but this invite does not extend to myself. Although I imagine if they knew I would be alone, they would insist I joined them.

I'm only posting this now in case anyone else is in a similar situation, and it's helped me knowing I am not unique when it comes to stuff like this.

I am not in the same situation as you, but many years ago i did find myself for a couple of years with no family at christmas, they had all gone away for christmas but i couldnt because of work. I was in my late teens at the time and really didnt want to be on my own over christmas. I spent both years with a then girlfriends family who took me in, but i always felt rightly or wrongly they had done because they had to, not because they wanted to. (thats probably not true and unfair to them, but thats just how i felt). It was a strange situation, i felt at the time as a young man i should not show any emotion and made out to my family i wasnt upset that they were going away, yet deepdown i felt gutted. Thankfully they dont read this forum and ive never to this day let them know how i felt.

So I do understand why you would have reservations about going to someone elses, i cant offer any advice that would make you feel better about going, i just wanted to say i understand what you mean, having done it im not sure i would repeat it in a hurry.

The loneliest though i ever felt was one christmas, my wife and i split up a few days before, i did spend it with family but really wanted to be alone. Thankfully we sorted things out and got back together a few months later, and still going strong.

I know none of that helps your situation, just wanted to share that i do sort of understand a little how you feel.

 

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10 hours ago, uttoxram75 said:

Bloody hell rynny, hope I don't have to spend my last years chasing people down Dairy House Road to Ivy Square!

Me old man's got the vascular dementia type, he's fine at the moment but will gradually deteriorate.

Well according to Britain's First it will be a no go area soon as Derby is a Muslim ghetto (<_<) so you should be safe from doing that, might even be the other way round :o

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On 12/21/2015 at 08:38, i-Ram said:

Alpha mentioned wanting/needing a time machine to deal with some of his issues. Personally, I think depression/stress can be debilitating because of looking back - you do have to start looking forward. Paint a picture of what you want your future to look like, and then start making some decisions (however small) that start leading you to where or who you want to be. Some decisions will be difficult, and taking advice and counsel from impartial third parties is key.  

As some others on here have said, exercise is good for a healthy clear mind and in truth alcohol intake should be avoided/reduced during periods of depression. It rarely helps.

One thing I created many years ago - not played it for a long time in truth - was a "happy tape". It was a tape with music on that made me smile, laugh, dance. It wasn't a tape of my favourite songs per se, and in fact I can't recall it having any of my favourite groups on it (but Radiohead aren't great for depression either), more simply music and songs that just gave me a lift, an adrenalin hit. I know nothing else about them, but still The New Radicals "you get what you give" (or something like that) makes me just want to bounce all over the place.

Your first sentence is so true you have to look forward ,sure it's good to look back fondly on the good bit's but as a whole it's the future that counts.

Older people tend to build walls not bridges and that's a shame. Your mind is like a parachute it doesn't work properly unless it's open .

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Just on the off chance, that anyone has had a look at this thread, and wondered what on earth we're talking about! Well if you don't know, you are very fortunate. 

Don't ever be fooled though, into thinking that it only happens to other people. If everything in your life, relationship, work, self esteem, and so on, are ticking along nicely, then that's great. During times like those, you tend not to think that one day it won't be like that, and rightly so! I'm not saying it won't always be like that. Hopefully it will.............. But...... If anyone had told me ten years ago, where I would be living, and HOW I would be living now, I'd have thought them nuts. 

Same five years ago. If someone had shown me a glimpse of myself now...... I would have just said no way. That can't be right. That is not me. I'd never be like that. I'd never behave like that. Etc etc..... 

Also, never underestimate how events can change you. Bereavement especially. I lost both parents, unexpectedly. We were not even close. And the effects are often not felt for a long time after the event. I didn't even know about that! So just be wary. 

Watch how that can destroy other precious relationships. When offered help, by those more clever and knowledgeable than you, take it. Don't turn it away like I did. 

And as for that time machine....... Sadly not happening is it. I'd borrow it when you have finished with it!! 

Re the looking forward stuff. Yes of course. Sounds easy. Makes sense. However it doesn't always work like that for a while. You have to get to the right place first. The railway embankment, at three in the morning, in the pouring rain, is not the right place. 

So if everything is rosy, then great. I'm not saying, just you wait and see, one day or won't be. But 'new York minutes'  are not confined to new York. 

Hope you all have a good Christmas time. If it's a time you are not keen on. It'll be over soon enough. Jan the first is my favourite day of the year! Take care. 

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Red_Dawn said:

Not gonna lie, dreading tomorrow. Have a good day anyway all

I used to dread Christmas Day, but since I started spending it with my other half's family it's gotten easier. I'm also far more cheerful when I'm drunk.

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12 hours ago, ketteringram said:

Just on the off chance, that anyone has had a look at this thread, and wondered what on earth we're talking about! Well if you don't know, you are very fortunate. 

Don't ever be fooled though, into thinking that it only happens to other people. If everything in your life, relationship, work, self esteem, and so on, are ticking along nicely, then that's great. During times like those, you tend not to think that one day it won't be like that, and rightly so! I'm not saying it won't always be like that. Hopefully it will.............. But...... If anyone had told me ten years ago, where I would be living, and HOW I would be living now, I'd have thought them nuts. 

Same five years ago. If someone had shown me a glimpse of myself now...... I would have just said no way. That can't be right. That is not me. I'd never be like that. I'd never behave like that. Etc etc..... 

Also, never underestimate how events can change you. Bereavement especially. I lost both parents, unexpectedly. We were not even close. And the effects are often not felt for a long time after the event. I didn't even know about that! So just be wary. 

Watch how that can destroy other precious relationships. When offered help, by those more clever and knowledgeable than you, take it. Don't turn it away like I did. 

And as for that time machine....... Sadly not happening is it. I'd borrow it when you have finished with it!! 

Re the looking forward stuff. Yes of course. Sounds easy. Makes sense. However it doesn't always work like that for a while. You have to get to the right place first. The railway embankment, at three in the morning, in the pouring rain, is not the right place. 

So if everything is rosy, then great. I'm not saying, just you wait and see, one day or won't be. But 'new York minutes'  are not confined to new York. 

Hope you all have a good Christmas time. If it's a time you are not keen on. It'll be over soon enough. Jan the first is my favourite day of the year! Take care. 

 

 

Merry Christmas Kettering. You take care too.

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