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Moist One

Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

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Don't know if any of you have seen the documentary of the rapper Professor Green and the suicide of his estranged father.

Professor Green - Suicide and me

I caught it the other night and found it really moving and useful that someone as high profile as him should help raise awareness of mens mental health issues and through it explore his own feelings towards the tragic death of his father.  

 

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Someone very close to me has suffered with depression for over 15 years (on and off) and I also have had several times where I was suffering with Anxiety, Depression and Stress.  I am sure everyone's experience is different but I had a time where I felt the people around me would be better off if I was not there.  In my mind I had convinced myself that I would be doing everyone a favour if I ended it all and I was close, too close.  Luckily I recovered, thanks to my family, my friends and through a lot of hard work but I did get there.

My advice would be to talk to about it.  Everyone has experience of either feeling this way themselves or someone close to them and you will start to realise that it isn't just you.

As others have said, I am only a PM away if you want to talk.

 

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I've suffered from depression to the point where I took pills to end it all... That's Rock Bottom... When you think you have no other way out.

 

This bearing in mind I had a decent job... Two wonderful boys, a 6 month old daughter and a loving wife who had supported me through my addiction problems over the years.

 

There was mitigating factors leading up to me trying to end it all.

 

All I have to say is be careful who you are trying to help "online" 

 

Some rather cruel individuals about nowadays who will stop at nothing to ruin you and with a mind like I have... Hit rock bottom

 

@Mostyn6 I'm always here for a chat... And I extend that to anyone....

 

Best way to beat this hurrendous illness is to talk to others who have or are going through the same.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Mafiabob said:

I've suffered from depression to the point where I took pills to end it all... That's Rock Bottom... When you think you have no other way out.

 

This bearing in mind I had a decent job... Two wonderful boys, a 6 month old daughter and a loving wife who had supported me through my addiction problems over the years.

 

There was mitigating factors leading up to me trying to end it all.

 

All I have to say is be careful who you are trying to help "online" 

 

Some rather cruel individuals about nowadays who will stop at nothing to ruin you and with a mind like I have... Hit rock bottom

 

@Mostyn6 I'm always here for a chat... And I extend that to anyone....

 

Best way to beat this hurrendous illness is to talk to others who have or are going through the same.

 

 

It differs from person to person but I agree with you.

 

I have been in and out of depression and anxiety due to work/relationship stress.

 

I often hit the bottle hard when I can't cope/deal with my anxiety but that doesn't help at all.

 

But I found understanding why I am feeling that way and making a plan to address those reasons works. I have been through three bouts of it, and one very recently where my behaviour became so erratic

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thanks for you concern, but I think I am far from that level.

Admittedly, I am a bit low at the moment, Christmas is always a bad time for me, but I hope that the good things in my life are enough to keep me on track.

There's no doubt that, in spite of never being diagnosed, I have been and probably still am 'clinically' depressed.

It became a question that kept me awake last night, whilst reflecting on a tough couple of years (which is not unique to me!), wondering how far away from being at rock bottom I am. It was a weird concept, as steps, and when there are no more steps down, is that where you find yourself wanting out.

I often contemplate the effects of ending it all, which is not the same as planning to end it all, if that makes sense.

I know it's a cruel world and I look at what others have been through and it trivialises everything I consider a problem in my own life, and the fact that I won't burden people with my own issues seems to fit in with lots of depression "frameworks" if you will.

I found myself just wondering where I was on the staircase of mental well-being. I worry that I could be only one or two more knocks from rock-bottom.

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Stephen's Fry documentary about being a manic depressive i found really helpful myself.  Insightful anyway. 

Apart from talking about it...if you can, exercise is about the best tip i can think of. 

And not blaming yourself for feeling bad or being unpleasant to others when you feel bad. 

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18 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

thanks for you concern, but I think I am far from that level.

Admittedly, I am a bit low at the moment, Christmas is always a bad time for me, but I hope that the good things in my life are enough to keep me on track.

There's no doubt that, in spite of never being diagnosed, I have been and probably still am 'clinically' depressed.

It became a question that kept me awake last night, whilst reflecting on a tough couple of years (which is not unique to me!), wondering how far away from being at rock bottom I am. It was a weird concept, as steps, and when there are no more steps down, is that where you find yourself wanting out.

I often contemplate the effects of ending it all, which is not the same as planning to end it all, if that makes sense.

I know it's a cruel world and I look at what others have been through and it trivialises everything I consider a problem in my own life, and the fact that I won't burden people with my own issues seems to fit in with lots of depression "frameworks" if you will.

I found myself just wondering where I was on the staircase of mental well-being. I worry that I could be only one or two more knocks from rock-bottom.

The worry is a factor in many cases also. The best thing to do is to make sure the people closest to you are aware, so they can keep an eye on you as well. 

Christmas is a hard time for a lot of people, for various reasons. 

Just remember, that while obviously you can't just decide to be happy, more of the factors that cause depression are under your control than you think. Exercise, or changing routines, even really small changes, can often be a big help (Changing your route to work, what you have for dinner if you have a fairly orderly system in place like some people do etc.).

I was a hardcore gamer when I was at my worst (and I still am now), and at my worst I was obviously in a very deep hole. I'd had a breakdown, left school, didn't talk to family members more than a couple of words a day etc. and my company, socially (on the games) was not constructive. My best friend at the time was in a similar boat mentally, but looking back in hindsight, his vast lack of effort to help himself coupled with being the only form of reference I had did me no good at all. 

So what I ended up doing (over the course of a year or so) was quite drastic. Talked to my family, went to a doctor, therapist etc. then turned off my computer for 9 months, got an internship at the company of a family friend (where I still work) and focused more on rebuilding my relationships with both my brothers, parents etc.

The change was quite quick, and while I'm not "better", I no longer have mood swings, anger issues etc. and it's made it far easier for me to have a clearer view of myself, my life and my mental state, which is important when battling the downward spirals.

Now I'm back playing my games etc. and have been doing much better for a few years now. 

I still have lingering issues, aside from depression as well as within it, but battling the element that may lead to you doing something foolish is 80% of the battle, in my opinion.

 

Clearly there's no right or wrong thing to do, and changing things in your life, little or large may not help. But making the people around you aware is always a benefit to both you and them, and should be a priority, if they don't already know. And if it's half-truths they know, you have to tell them the full-truths. 

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25 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

thanks for you concern, but I think I am far from that level.

Admittedly, I am a bit low at the moment, Christmas is always a bad time for me, but I hope that the good things in my life are enough to keep me on track.

There's no doubt that, in spite of never being diagnosed, I have been and probably still am 'clinically' depressed.

It became a question that kept me awake last night, whilst reflecting on a tough couple of years (which is not unique to me!), wondering how far away from being at rock bottom I am. It was a weird concept, as steps, and when there are no more steps down, is that where you find yourself wanting out.

I often contemplate the effects of ending it all, which is not the same as planning to end it all, if that makes sense.

I know it's a cruel world and I look at what others have been through and it trivialises everything I consider a problem in my own life, and the fact that I won't burden people with my own issues seems to fit in with lots of depression "frameworks" if you will.

I found myself just wondering where I was on the staircase of mental well-being. I worry that I could be only one or two more knocks from rock-bottom.

Hi Mostyn

I've lost a family member to this and nearly lost a good mate who was just saved by the 7th sense of his wife.

I hope you can take some comfort from the advice given elsewhere by others. Don't try to battle it on your own. Talk to professional people who will do all they can to make sure you get no worse. If you're already doing that, keep doing it.

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Thanks for sharing your posts SaintsRam, like others have said that took alot of courage.

I hit abit of a brick wall recently, my friend suggested dfepression but I think it's just generally feeling abit down. I've found myself drinking more, finding it harder to get up in the mornings and alot of lethargy at work. Was a big reason why I chose to sign off from my current job and look elsewhere. 

What usually makes me feel better is getting out and doing exercise, most notably sport. I've been entering competitions and the success (or even failure) from that gives me a huge raise.

II think this time of year has a big impact on alot of people, it certainly is for me; dreading Xmas. Every one of my friends/family are in serious relationships and I've been on my own for about 6 months. There's nothing worse than being the token single guy on nights out.

I'm pretty positive about what next year brings, and on the whole this has been a hugely successful year, but still doesn't sotp you feeling down in the dumps on occasion! 

EDIT: Of course following Forest can lead to bouts of extreme depression. 

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48 minutes ago, Gypsy Ram said:

It differs from person to person but I agree with you.

 

I have been in and out of depression and anxiety due to work/relationship stress.

 

I often hit the bottle hard when I can't cope/deal with my anxiety but that doesn't help at all.

 

But I found understanding why I am feeling that way and making a plan to address those reasons works. I have been through three bouts of it, and one very recently where my behaviour became so erratic

Stay strong mate... Like I say... I'm here  listen and chat whenever...

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If you have access to Stephen Ilari & co's study drom 2007, go and read it.

If you don't here are the guidelines:

Depressed patients were exposed to conditions mimicking ancestral environment; lot of sunlight, omega3 fatty acids, oudoor activities,time with friends and family and regular sleeping pattern.

Leading to 75 % recovery rate. So basicly it's the current lifestyle what causes it.

I'd add d-vitamin to it, as in the long run it does help recovery. If you do drink, stop it. 9/10 feels radically better after quitting drinking, no matter if that's been reason behind depression or just poor solution to it.

Quicker you do something for it, better. And I'd strongly suggest you to go see the doctor and do some tests!

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It's been said before but talking and excercise for me are the key tips.

About 10 years ago, I had a bout of mild to moderate depression but accompanied by quite bad anxiety and panic attacks, so that my "safe place" was curled up on the sofa. I would drink too much in the evenings to try and clear my mind but of course that didn't help & just disrupted my sleep even more. I used to think that my issues were brought on by ill health at the time, as I was suffering from chronic stomach problems but looking back, the underlying cause was that I was in denial about the demise of my first marriage - something which I only came to realise long after we'd split up and I'd met my second wife.

Of course, once I started talking to people (and found a sympathetic doctor) I was able to start to take control but excercise for me was crucial. Once I got over the anxiety of thinking I was going to die as soon as I could feel my heart racing, it really made all of the difference & I was able to reclaim my life over a period of a few months.

I still have occasional bouts of mild depression but they're thankfully brief and I have wonderful support nowadays.

In the cinema the other week, I felt the early signs of a panic attack coming on (it felt like I was sinking down into the seat). The first time I'd had that feeling in years and the weird thing was I felt strangely comforted by it - like it was a reminder to me of how bad I used to feel & how I'm in a far better place now. It quickly subsided & I've been fine since.

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2 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

In the cinema the other week, I felt the early signs of a panic attack coming on (it felt like I was sinking down into the seat). The first time I'd had that feeling in years and the weird thing was I felt strangely comforted by it - like it was a reminder to me of how bad I used to feel & how I'm in a far better place now. It quickly subsided & I've been fine since.

 

I had a similar event a month or so back, just when I started to feel like I used to. I told my friends, who all live in New Orleans and who have been my main social group since the tail end of my bad times, and they let out an onslaught that lasted a few hours describing to me the things I used to do and how much better I am now, and it made me feel so much better. As you say, it's comforting to be reminded of how far you've come. 

Another reason why it's so important for people to know.

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4 hours ago, LesterRam said:

good post, working online is notorious for depression and I have now been online my entire adult life and mostly on my own, if I can give advice on what I have found out with trial and error...

never use any device, laptop or anything that radiates light an hour before going to sleep, something about the blue light removes melatonin which enables you to sleep.

buy a sad lamp, they do work.

regular exercise, just go and take a brisk walk.

talk to colleagues and try and keep it upbeat.

never take work home with you, leave it in the office.

I can talk but if I have a lot of work on I will break all these rules and my mood deepens, probably hence my negative posts :unsure:

hope your ok Mostyn and please try my ideas mate because this is 20+ years research that works for me.

On the blue light point. Anyone can download a piece of software called f.lux for free.  It mirrors daylight and after two days or so of using it you are completely unaware that you are using it. Blue Light is a huge problem, even for people who don't think it is for them. I recommend everyone uses f.lux immediately. 

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