Day Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Was Armed Forces day on Saturday, I got absolutely hammered like Soldiers do, seemed the right thing to do, get into the spirit at and all that. I have a hazy memory of getting home, I've always been a believer that nobody really forgets what happened the night before, they just choose to forget through embarrassment. Well in the middle of the night and this is the missus version of events, she woke up to hearing me sat on the bed having a piss up the bedroom wall. She claims to have asked me what I was doing, my reply was having a piss then I got back into bed and fell straight asleep. I literally have no memory of waking in the night, nothing, once I'm gone that it's I'm conked out for the night. As soon as I wake up she tells me that I pissed up the wall, I look at the wall and my bedroom has light grey walls (see pic), no sign of any piss at all, I'm looking at her confused, tells me to feel the floor, put my hand down and it's absolutely wet through, sure enough piss. I jump out of bed, wash my hands and that and just accept that it must have been me. Now the thing is I'm starting to think about this more and more, why would I sit down to have a piss? why is there no sign of it on the wall? I didn't think to touch the wall at the time but if this was the middle of the night and I was up at 7.30 you would expect to see some kind of stain, sticky marks or darker patches on the wall. Why was there none around the side of the bed, on the bed sheets? If I was that hammered surely it would be everywhere, as you all know our aim goes to pieces after few pints. Heres another thing she cleaned it up and went to McDonalds to get me breakfast before going to work. Now if your partner had pissed up the wall would you be cleaning it up? I never asked her to, she just did it and I'm thinking it's out of guilt, I think she woke up, squatted next to the bed, realised what she had done, saw me absolutely conked out and thought she could blame it on me. I did put this theory to her but she told me to **** off. Another sign of guilt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 at least you didn't curl out a chocolate whippy on the bed! My dad's best mate did that at my house when I was a kid, and my mum punched him in the nose!Oh Happy days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I still can't believe he posted what he'd done all over the Internet? bet the landlords dipping into the deposit already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 It's my mates old house, no deposit so I'm to talk a poo on the landing now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 It's my mates old house, no deposit so I'm to talk a poo on the landing now I think he's regretting the no deposit situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicME85 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Bit of pee on the wall? Nothing. Five years ago this was posted on another forum I use: I have a problem.It was my football clubs awards night last night so I went out for a few. My problem is that I always go out and get wrecked. So I came home last night and poo'd on a plate in the kitchen. I have no memory of this. I remember up to the taxi journey home, and having to clean up said poo, but no memory of the deed. Pretty much every night that i do go out ends up in a similar kind of way, although this is the first poo on a plate incident. Anyway the fiance has packed some stuff and left to think about things (especially as she saw me with poo dribbling down my leg - so she has a point), so regale me with your drunk escapades my OTF2 brothers.No poo on any of my clothes btw, so I am the man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Still can't believe she's the one who cleaned it up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 To be fair she didn't do much of a job, I had the steam cleaner out on it yesterday, white vinegar, pet enzyme remover, febreeze fabric spray. Luckily, kinda? she pissed on the rug more which protected the carpet, thing is the rug was like £200! it's now hung up in the garden fence thingy after snapping the washing line trying to get rid of the vinegar smell.Told her she must use the toilet in future, job an half that was to clear up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 She's a lucky lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 That's what I keep telling her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Got a good one there Daveo, keep pushing the boundaries slightly and if she sticks with you, keep her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Don't curl a dump out in her make up drawer ffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramit Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Now that's just disgusting, quite frankly i am appalled and can hardly believe what i just read. A McDonald's breakfast? Eww We had a McDonald's too but it went out of business in 2009. The last burger bought from that joint has been kept under glass for 6 years now and still shows no signs of decomposing. i have proof too, the most boring webcam in the world.BTW Daveo, pissing up the wall is a classic example of the later stages of McDonald's saturation, keep that up and you'll soon be shitting on the ceilinghttp://bushostelreykjavik.com/last-mcdonalds-in-iceland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Which one of you was pissed.no further questions m'lud.Ye gods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Try drinking real beer instead of gallons of pissy lager - no wonder you had a visit from the midnight fireman.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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