Perky1106 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 1. Teaching Maths In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80. How much was his profit? 4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production i s £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Maths In 2005 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how might the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20. 6. Teaching Maths In 2009 A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health & Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recividest and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor. Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life? 7. Teaching Maths In 2010 A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses. The logger struggles to pay the £1200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1500 registration fees as a gang-master. The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances. You do the maths 8. Teaching Maths 2017 Ø£ المسجل تبيع Øموله شاØنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاØب تكلÙØ© ا لانتاج من الثمن. ما هو Ø§Ù„Ø±Ø¨Ø Ù„Ù‡ØŸ - Stolen from COYRs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thornhill Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 edit that to stolen from about 50 joke sites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bakeri666 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Thats pretty awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicky-27 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Thats brilliant Joe - bit scarey tho - to near the truth ! Haha - nice avator - I shall recognise you at the match now - shan't have to stare at loads of fingers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perky1106 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Originally posted by vicky-27;29904 Thats brilliant Joe - bit scarey tho - to near the truth ! Haha - nice avator - I shall recognise you at the match now - shan't have to stare at loads of fingers Thanks but there's not much chance of noticing my fingers unless I'm clapping my hands above my head and shouting "Easy! Easy!" like off Soccer AM. A stormtrooper would be a great outfit for an away game. Not sure it would beat Dan's awesome gorilla outfit though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 A stormtrooper trumps a gorilla costume mate easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M.M Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 What about a gorilla in a stormtrooper outfit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbydan Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Originally posted by m.m;30029 what about a gorilla in a stormtrooper outfit? that would be cool a planet of the apes / star wars hybrid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 oh jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dangerous Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 what about a stormtrooper with a banana? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M.M Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 What about a hairy stormtrooper with a really long banana (lulzzz) as a lightsaber? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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