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Sir Jake


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First time poster, had a look but couldn't see this posted anywhere else. This was posted on thw Guardian in this article




Currently got 53 reccommends, best post I've ever seen on that website


"The 90th minute. A desperate Petr Cech launches it up the pitch, and for the 20th time, Jake Buxton steps forward and heads it back. Except this time it's different. The ball flies forward, looping up over Cech's head and into the net. Chelsea's humiliation is complete, the Match of the Day lads have their clip to laugh over, and for one afternoon the name 'Jake Buxton' is on the lips of every football fan in England.


And yet, unnoticed by everyone, something more has happened. As the ball cannons off of Buxton's forehead, a small tear appears in the fabric of time itself. At first nothing happens. The world continues as it did before. But a few days later, changes start to appear. Someone notices that the YouTube clip of Stiliyan Petrov's halfway line lob from 2008 has changed so that Jake Buxton appears on the line to head it clear. In the 1994 play-off final, Steve Walsh is muscled off the ball by Jake Buxton. All of Derby's wrongs are rectified as Buxton's influence reaches across time and space.


Eventually it spreads beyond Derby. Someone reads an article about Jake Buxton's magnificent tackle that prevented a Poland goal in 1973 to secure England's World Cup qualification. "That's strange," people think, "I thought they scored that goal, and Norman Hunter failed to make the tackle." In Brazil in 1950 Jake Buxton appears on the teamsheet to batter the USA into submission. In 1930 he appears before the FA to persuade them to take part in the inaugural World Cup, won by England at a canter, managed, captained and spearheaded by Jake Buxton. He becomes a Zelig-like figure in English football, our saviour time and time again. All our grievances are avenged. All our demons are put to bed.


At the iPro stadium in January 2014, a twinkle appears in the eye of Derby's centre-back. The Elders had always prophesied the coming of a figure so powerful they could rend time itself and remake it in their own image. Now this creature had made himself known, a glorious new age was dawning. The age... of Bucko."


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The bearded Lord has manifested himself amongst us mere mortals and therefore has bestowed upon Himself the frailties of all men.

Praise the bearded One for he shall lead us to the promised land.

And smiteth his enemies and those who posteth against him.

He looked decidedly dodged without Keogh his and the Rams rock to me
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