Ken Tram

Your bit about the 1 in 4 statistic reinforces that it is a statistical thing.
We had three.
It is hard to keep trying if you fear that things will go wrong, but you sound determined ...

Pull up a chair, this will be a long one.
Me and my wife Leanne have been together 8 years and 5 months, we have been trying for a baby for around 6/7 years. Nothing happened. Leanne has been desperate for our own little baby and seeing friends around us start families has been hard for her.
It’s been hard for myself as I later found out it was probably my fault following a sperm test.
Just before Covid we went to explore IVF options where I was given a sperm test, the results were basically I have swimmers, just not enough to put me in the “normal” range. Not impossible I could get Leanne pregnant, just harder than it would be for others.
Covid landed, lockdown, all non essential treatment and hospital appointments were cancelled, so our doctors asked us to come back once life returned to normal.
Fast forward to August 2023, we returned to the doctors knowing the clock was ticking, Leanne turns 40 this year and would already be classified as a “geriatric”, whilst myself a slightly younger Des O’Connor.
Anyway, they started testing Leanne, she was all clear, I was given another tube to fill and arrange an appointment with the hospital. Contacting them I was told there is such a backlog, we would be waiting until the new year, side note, we’re almost April and I’m still yet to receive a call back.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, October 27th our great nephews moved in with us under an emergency kinship fostering placement, since then we have been undergoing various assessments and training.
We go to the fostering panel to be confirmed foster parents on April 11th.
We was also willing to go down the SGO (Special guardianship order) route which would see them stay with us until they were 18.
Now, this is an important bit. We live in a small 2 bedroom house, me and Leanne looked at it and said maybe this is our calling, maybe we just weren’t meant to have our own and threw ourselves into the boys creating a special bond.
Monday 12th February, 2024, Leanne woke me up in tears saying we need to talk. My eyes had barely adjusted to the daylight before a positive pregnancy test was thrust into my face.
What. The. f***.
We quickly went to Morrison’s to buy another one, just to double check, this time a digital one. Both ClearBlue so super accurate.
The pregnancy was confirmed, 2-3 weeks it said.
We hadn’t bothered to be “careful” as we figured it was never going to happen naturally, but it had so now we was left with a huge dilemma. The boys were meant to be our future now. But it’s a 2 bedroom house.
It completely took the shine off what should have been the happiest time of our lives, Leanne’s family were also not fully invested into the joy with concern over what would happen to the boys.
After a few emotional discussions into the early mornings, exploring all possibilities, we ultimately decided to let social services know that we cannot be considered as long term placement if needed.
At this point and to this day, their mum is still waiting on her assessment to see if they can ever be returned.
We could not abort, we could not move as we have a small amount of debt that would prevent us getting a new mortgage for a much larger house.
March 9th, we visited the midwife who dated the pregnancy from Leanne’s last recorded period December 18th. A 12 week scan was booked for 21st March however she was told that she would be 13 weeks by then.
Sickness, tender breasts, the lot, this was all very real.
The wait for the 21st March seemed like forever.
The weekend prior, Leanne had very very light spotting and discharge which freaked us both out, quick call to the midwife and told not to worry, just come in if it’s heavy bleeding and she’s in pain.
On the 20th, I had a tattoo appointment, super excited and determined to bring some positivity to a stressed out wife, I get “Daddy” inked on my neck, at the neckline of a t shirt.  I was uncontrollably excited by this point.
Next morning we go in, soon called into the Ultrasound room, I bounce in rubbing my hands joking just the one please.
Monitor boots up, Leanne laid back with the biggest smile on her face unable to see the monitor.
I look up and the gestation sac is empty.
All life inside me just melted.
The midwife asked when we last took a pregnancy test, to which Leanne responded and was then asked if she would be happy to have an internal scan.
Whilst the midwife left the room I was in a daze, taking pictures of the screens.
Internal scan complete, we was simply told to get ourselves ready and we will be shown to the counselling room.
Both in tears, we was led away and left to sit in this room for half hour or so before another midwife appeared giving us 3 options.
Let it come out naturally.
Take medication to force it out which can be super painful.
Or surgery, which is a vacuum basically which sucks it out.
Period of silence followed and we was shown out the side door, absolutely devastated.
We sat in the car park at a complete loss. I had the announcement board ready to go, bought the little lamb rattle, we had it all planned and it was over.
After an hour we went home, packed our bags and basically ran away for the weekend leaving the boys with their Nan. We couldn’t face being “parents” surrounded by toys at this time.
Work were great, signed us both off with paid leave.
The weekend was spent crying, drinking, walking, crying.
We returned Monday, still an emotional mess but able to function at least.
The hospital rang asking if we had made a decision, on Tuesday Leanne booked the surgery for the Wednesday. That Tuesday night went to visit a friend who was questioning the dates, could they be wrong, is it earlier than we think, ask for a second scan to confirm.
On looking at the scan, the gestation sac was 1D 25mm, 2D 29mm and 3D 29mm. I’m googling sac sizes at 1am and see that is 8 weeks. 5 weeks earlier than what we was told.
Leanne’s now questioning if she forgot to record a period I said look, we’ll ask for a confirmation scan to be sure.
That morning, we go into SDEC (Same day emergency care), nurse calls us in, Leanne breaks down so I take over asking for a confirmation scan. They were great and said of course, booking us in for April 2nd.
I would have declined the 1st for obvious reasons.
We’re sat here now 99% believing we’ve lost the baby, however we need that 1% of doubt clearing away with this confirmation scan on Tuesday. Even a scan at an earlier date should have shown more than just the gestation sac and yolk sac.
I’m back to work on Monday, needing some normality back in my life, although Tuesday after the scan won’t be much fun.
This week that’s just gone, Wednesday 27th, the Boys mum had her assessment heard at panel, we’re now just waiting to hear from the social services to see how that went and would they be returned or not.
We have some difficult decisions ahead if she doesn’t, as now Leanne’s “oven has been warmed”, we’re desperate more than ever for our own little baby, yet fully aware Leanne turns 40 in a couple of months and I’m 42 myself.
It really needs to happen now, or not at all. Seeing Cameron Diaz having her second at 51 years old the other week, not sure how I feel as the old you get the more our bodies begin to tire and develop issues where running after children becomes more difficult.
All family options for the boys have been exhausted, so it’s either us, their mum or adoption. Being 2 and 3 they are the prime age to be adopted yet we would never see them again and that would f’in hurt, especially if me and Leanne are not successful in having our own.
I'm sharing this as men don't like to talk and when 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, many men will have been in similar situations and struggle in silence. Whilst the woman will ultimately bare the most pain and need the most support, it still f'in hurts....a lot.
So yeah, coming on here reading how Paul Warne is a terrible football manager, being 2nd is pure luck and all the rest of the negative hyperbole just hasn’t been at the top of the list to absorb. 
More to life than football has never been more true.
You know the old saying though, behind every successful forum owner, behind him is a team of amazing moderators. Big thanks to them for carrying the load whilst I spend time supporting the wife.

Credit to the Derbyshire motorcycle police - that's a slick operation
 

This picture
Wolstenholme said:
And here comes Hurst! He's got...
(Wolstenholme is distracted by some of the crowd spilling onto the pitch)
Some people are on the pitch! They think it's all over!
(Geoff Hurst scores to put England two goals ahead)
It is now, it's four!
 
 
"They think its all over"  I will be glad when it is and we are back in the Championship 

Reader warning @Crewton - I'm not ranting at you with what is below, just in general.
Oh I'd agree with that point - if anyone needs convincing watch 'Once Upon A Time In Iraq' to see how it works to impose your views on others. But I'm not sure it's quite as simple as suggesting that the last colonial overlord is the one who is then tasked to lead on fixing the problem. It feels more first world / third world to me and situations like this, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen sadly just show that there is no compunction on anyone to redress the inequalities that have formed. I don't think anyone suggests we want to live in a world where everyone is equal to one another, but the level of inequality - and the total disregard to help those who are unable to provide in return - shames us as a species. And the suggestion that because we (first world) haven't always found the formula means there is no option is not really one we should consider - long term investment, education, support and a little bit of care and empathy. Has it ever worked? Well I'd suggest large parts of Latin America, parts of South East Asia and many parts of Europe (benefitting from EU funding, Ireland for example) have seen economic development from external support.
But hey, let's not worry, slob out on the sofa and in a couple of weeks there will be some 80s pop star in the ad break asking you to give what you can (sadly, without tax refunded). Every little bit helps and all that.
Oh, and we are helping some countries who need help. Place like Ukraine, Aghanistan, Nigeria so we can do it when we want to.

That's just reminded me of a nice little titbit connecting these two clubs...
Pompey win FA Cup in '39... then retain it for the longest uninterrupted period (7 years), due to the war years, before handing it over in '46... to us!  🏆
 
 

Come to Matlock Bath it’s a bit like Blackpool without the sea. You’ll have the added bonus if the weathers good of sitting in traffic for a few hours and no where to park. 

Despite it being impossible, as they all play each other, I expect our four promotion rivals to take maximum points from their remaining games, while we fail to pick up a single point for the remainder of the season.
We finish 6th and, despite getting our hopes back up by sneaking past Bolton in the semis, we collapse in the against Lincoln in the final at Wembley blow a 2-0 lead to lose 5-2. Sending 40,000 Derby fans home unhappy, as 378 Imps celebrate promotion on Wembley Way.
Meanwhile, Leeds and Leicester claim Automatic promotion to the Premier League, and Nottingham Forest escape relegation by a point on the final day.All three go on to finish top 10 in the following season.
In League 2, Wrexham are promoted and proceed to spend £300m to assemble to strongest third tier side of all time, meaning that recently relegated Birmingham city have to settle for second place, as the Rams miss out again and head to Wembley to eventually lose to Rotherham. (Who are by then managed by Conor Hourihane)
 

Driving to Perranporth Beach on Sunday. 

I've never subscribed to The Athletic but they do send me emails.
This link allowed me to see the full article:
The $25m fraudster who came so close to buying an English football club

I agree we didn't play well but I wonder whether part of this is we don't cope when the opposition deploys anti-football tactics.
You are right that breaking up momentum is key. It's another aspect we need to deal with, as if we need to practise plays as in American football, rather than rely on a building up a head of steam for a period of time as the opposition can deal with this by going down with an 'injury' and then the moment has passed.
Another thing is I wonder who actually times stoppages to calculate added time. I assumed it was the 4th official, but online sources tend to indicate it is the referee who then tells the 4th official who puts the board up with it. I haven't noticed the ref or 4th official stop-starting a watch with every break in play, so can only think it is a guestimate.
On Saturday with the subs and injuries it felt like between 82 and 90 minutes there was no actual football played. It wasn't clear how much added time was to be put on, and the scoreboard mysteriously seemed to stop showing the time of play towards the end of the match. Again, dark arts from Northampton or more conspiracy theory sour grapes from me?!
 
 
 

Hi Rams, I commented on the reverse fixture when you battered us earlier in the season so thought I would do the same just to give some context from the other side.
A very different game to the one at Pride Park earlier in the season. The San Sixfields pitch is much smaller which definitely helps us, particularly against the big boys in the division. We have taken a pasting of pretty much all of the teams at the top of the table away from home this season, whilst at home managed mostly narrow defeats instead.
No doubt that you should have scored at least one of the two chances in the first half, or at the very least worked the keeper, one of them goes in and you dont lose the game without a shadow of a doubt. The game earlier in the season you were picking holes in between our midfield and defense with ease, also NML pace was a constant threat. However in this game were clearly more compact and outside of those opportunities it didn't feel like you created a huge amount of clear cut chances. It was noticeable that you were much more direct this game for whatever reason, which I am far more confident of us deadling with. I know you have a number of bodies out, but we have 10 out (mostly in defence) so the injury list was similar on both sides.
I thought the goal was a really well taken finish, definite foul in the build up but the defending after that would be pretty poor. Your full back (Wilson I think) also definitely handled it in the second half with no one around him. 
I sit in the end where Bradley got his red, he definitely put his head in. Don't get me wrong i dont think Monthe is going to require a trip to the hospital but unfortunately you have to go down to almost bring it to attention. Thought it was poor from a guy who is that experienced and was seemingly always looking for physicality in the game. Yes we tried to slow down the game, no doubt about it. If i was an away fan I would be furious and hope the ref would stop it. But to add some context our season has been petering out to a degree with mid table safety and clearly our manager has given them a rocket pointing out there are still points to play for, there was not a lack of effort on our point despite little to play for seemingly. To be honest we are doing about as well as a club our size could be expected to do, as we were on of the favorites for the drop.
I hope you go up, clearly a huge club that should not be at this level (plus dont want Peterborough to go up). I am guessing there is a big split in the fanbase over the manager, that was evident by the booing of one of the substitutions which you don't expect from a team that are fighting for the title. As a completely neutral observer Warne to me sits in the Gareth Ainsworth esque category of managers. Likeable character and personable, but with limitations at a higher level and in developing a more free flowing style, it dosnt seem like the best fit. Playing Pompey and Peterborough recently (both away so different challenges I guess) but they seemed much more composed in their style of play and just seemed to have more ways to hurt us.
Hopefully your injury woes ease up a little and all the best for the rest of the season.

Areas like Balsall Common and where I live are blighted by construction work on the HS2 for the next few years, local roads are forever being closed then moved or altered, plus dust blowing in from the construction can be a problem when we get a dry spell, so beware of this when selecting your location.
Personally, unless I was good friends with someone local, I would rent somewhere for a few months and get a feel for the area, before buying a property.

You will need to get used to adding the “u” in neighbour back in Blighty 😉

English version:
"the flooding is getting brutal, all industry here is collapsing and we can't even go outside without fear of being eaten by XL Bullies."

Are you mad? 

May 20 is Bee Day. (it really is, but, get it?)

I confess I have never seen that as a requirement, so have circumvented any complicated problems. Meanwhile:
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re horrified by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mother says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mum!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Not hysterically funny but it made me smile and I'm sure @Carl Sagan will like it. 

I did a few options on The Fishy predictor.
Just plugging in us losing every game still had us finishing in 5th place. This makes sense because even Lincoln the form team would need to win 6 out of 7 games to get to 79 points.
Other more realistic predictions entered for the top 5 teams suggested we still need 92 points to be sure of 2nd, so the team just need to focus on winning every game and watching the target decrease as others slip up. Win our home games, win at Cambridge, draw at Northampton and Wycombe - it doesn't seem impossible.

10th, I think.
I can't decide if this thread is positive or pessimistic ...

Watch out for them parking eye cams down the east stand side.

Thanks everyone. I parked right outside, as suggested ... ignored the large selection of bobble hats in the shop ... and made my purchases ...