Chellaston Ram

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

Scored again yesterday for Gateshead 

Pull up a chair, this will be a long one.
Me and my wife Leanne have been together 8 years and 5 months, we have been trying for a baby for around 6/7 years. Nothing happened. Leanne has been desperate for our own little baby and seeing friends around us start families has been hard for her.
It’s been hard for myself as I later found out it was probably my fault following a sperm test.
Just before Covid we went to explore IVF options where I was given a sperm test, the results were basically I have swimmers, just not enough to put me in the “normal” range. Not impossible I could get Leanne pregnant, just harder than it would be for others.
Covid landed, lockdown, all non essential treatment and hospital appointments were cancelled, so our doctors asked us to come back once life returned to normal.
Fast forward to August 2023, we returned to the doctors knowing the clock was ticking, Leanne turns 40 this year and would already be classified as a “geriatric”, whilst myself a slightly younger Des O’Connor.
Anyway, they started testing Leanne, she was all clear, I was given another tube to fill and arrange an appointment with the hospital. Contacting them I was told there is such a backlog, we would be waiting until the new year, side note, we’re almost April and I’m still yet to receive a call back.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, October 27th our great nephews moved in with us under an emergency kinship fostering placement, since then we have been undergoing various assessments and training.
We go to the fostering panel to be confirmed foster parents on April 11th.
We was also willing to go down the SGO (Special guardianship order) route which would see them stay with us until they were 18.
Now, this is an important bit. We live in a small 2 bedroom house, me and Leanne looked at it and said maybe this is our calling, maybe we just weren’t meant to have our own and threw ourselves into the boys creating a special bond.
Monday 12th February, 2024, Leanne woke me up in tears saying we need to talk. My eyes had barely adjusted to the daylight before a positive pregnancy test was thrust into my face.
What. The. f***.
We quickly went to Morrison’s to buy another one, just to double check, this time a digital one. Both ClearBlue so super accurate.
The pregnancy was confirmed, 2-3 weeks it said.
We hadn’t bothered to be “careful” as we figured it was never going to happen naturally, but it had so now we was left with a huge dilemma. The boys were meant to be our future now. But it’s a 2 bedroom house.
It completely took the shine off what should have been the happiest time of our lives, Leanne’s family were also not fully invested into the joy with concern over what would happen to the boys.
After a few emotional discussions into the early mornings, exploring all possibilities, we ultimately decided to let social services know that we cannot be considered as long term placement if needed.
At this point and to this day, their mum is still waiting on her assessment to see if they can ever be returned.
We could not abort, we could not move as we have a small amount of debt that would prevent us getting a new mortgage for a much larger house.
March 9th, we visited the midwife who dated the pregnancy from Leanne’s last recorded period December 18th. A 12 week scan was booked for 21st March however she was told that she would be 13 weeks by then.
Sickness, tender breasts, the lot, this was all very real.
The wait for the 21st March seemed like forever.
The weekend prior, Leanne had very very light spotting and discharge which freaked us both out, quick call to the midwife and told not to worry, just come in if it’s heavy bleeding and she’s in pain.
On the 20th, I had a tattoo appointment, super excited and determined to bring some positivity to a stressed out wife, I get “Daddy” inked on my neck, at the neckline of a t shirt.  I was uncontrollably excited by this point.
Next morning we go in, soon called into the Ultrasound room, I bounce in rubbing my hands joking just the one please.
Monitor boots up, Leanne laid back with the biggest smile on her face unable to see the monitor.
I look up and the gestation sac is empty.
All life inside me just melted.
The midwife asked when we last took a pregnancy test, to which Leanne responded and was then asked if she would be happy to have an internal scan.
Whilst the midwife left the room I was in a daze, taking pictures of the screens.
Internal scan complete, we was simply told to get ourselves ready and we will be shown to the counselling room.
Both in tears, we was led away and left to sit in this room for half hour or so before another midwife appeared giving us 3 options.
Let it come out naturally.
Take medication to force it out which can be super painful.
Or surgery, which is a vacuum basically which sucks it out.
Period of silence followed and we was shown out the side door, absolutely devastated.
We sat in the car park at a complete loss. I had the announcement board ready to go, bought the little lamb rattle, we had it all planned and it was over.
After an hour we went home, packed our bags and basically ran away for the weekend leaving the boys with their Nan. We couldn’t face being “parents” surrounded by toys at this time.
Work were great, signed us both off with paid leave.
The weekend was spent crying, drinking, walking, crying.
We returned Monday, still an emotional mess but able to function at least.
The hospital rang asking if we had made a decision, on Tuesday Leanne booked the surgery for the Wednesday. That Tuesday night went to visit a friend who was questioning the dates, could they be wrong, is it earlier than we think, ask for a second scan to confirm.
On looking at the scan, the gestation sac was 1D 25mm, 2D 29mm and 3D 29mm. I’m googling sac sizes at 1am and see that is 8 weeks. 5 weeks earlier than what we was told.
Leanne’s now questioning if she forgot to record a period I said look, we’ll ask for a confirmation scan to be sure.
That morning, we go into SDEC (Same day emergency care), nurse calls us in, Leanne breaks down so I take over asking for a confirmation scan. They were great and said of course, booking us in for April 2nd.
I would have declined the 1st for obvious reasons.
We’re sat here now 99% believing we’ve lost the baby, however we need that 1% of doubt clearing away with this confirmation scan on Tuesday. Even a scan at an earlier date should have shown more than just the gestation sac and yolk sac.
I’m back to work on Monday, needing some normality back in my life, although Tuesday after the scan won’t be much fun.
This week that’s just gone, Wednesday 27th, the Boys mum had her assessment heard at panel, we’re now just waiting to hear from the social services to see how that went and would they be returned or not.
We have some difficult decisions ahead if she doesn’t, as now Leanne’s “oven has been warmed”, we’re desperate more than ever for our own little baby, yet fully aware Leanne turns 40 in a couple of months and I’m 42 myself.
It really needs to happen now, or not at all. Seeing Cameron Diaz having her second at 51 years old the other week, not sure how I feel as the old you get the more our bodies begin to tire and develop issues where running after children becomes more difficult.
All family options for the boys have been exhausted, so it’s either us, their mum or adoption. Being 2 and 3 they are the prime age to be adopted yet we would never see them again and that would f’in hurt, especially if me and Leanne are not successful in having our own.
I'm sharing this as men don't like to talk and when 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, many men will have been in similar situations and struggle in silence. Whilst the woman will ultimately bare the most pain and need the most support, it still f'in hurts....a lot.
So yeah, coming on here reading how Paul Warne is a terrible football manager, being 2nd is pure luck and all the rest of the negative hyperbole just hasn’t been at the top of the list to absorb. 
More to life than football has never been more true.
You know the old saying though, behind every successful forum owner, behind him is a team of amazing moderators. Big thanks to them for carrying the load whilst I spend time supporting the wife.

Scored again yesterday for Gateshead 

Scored again yesterday for Gateshead 

That’s pretty poor for saying they still have a chance of 6th spot 

They should do what Leeds do, they randomly select members who have to collect the ticket at the away ground and provide ID when they collect it.

They should do what Leeds do, they randomly select members who have to collect the ticket at the away ground and provide ID when they collect it.

They should do what Leeds do, they randomly select members who have to collect the ticket at the away ground and provide ID when they collect it.

As many of the injured are the older players maybe Warne’s tough training sessions are having an effect 

Official Derby County West Country Supporters Branch
After our very successful Taunton coach vs Bolton we’re looking to repeat vs Orient on 13 April. Dep Taunton 8.00 am.
Great interest and commitment so far but we still need just 1 or 2 more to commit before we can confirm in the next couple of days or so. Text me on 07970 735689 or email derbycountytravel@gmail.com
Would this be of interest to you and or family members …49 seater Exec coach with toilet facilities.
Taunton J25/M5: £45 adult /£25 U16 or full time study. 8.00 am 
Bristol. J16/M5  £35/£20 9.00 am
Wychbold J5/M5 : £22.60/£12.50 10.45 am
Solihull J4/M42: £19.50/£11  11.15 am
What a fantastic family trip we had on 16 March - do come and join us!!.Fantastic lunch stop at Clock Warehouse, Shardlow.
(If we don’t get enough numbers then coach will still run from Wychbold as normal!)
Best, Justin

It's a confidence boost to them, yes. But momentum? I wouldn't say so. Bolton have won 2 in their last 7, Barnsley 1 in their last 4, Peterborough lost their last game. Peterborough possibly have "momentum" in their form before losing to Portsmouth, but the form of the other two is hardly brilliant.
It would be a massive up-turn in form for any side to win all of their remaining games. For Bolton that's 7 in a row and for Posh/Barnsley it's 8 in a row. They haven't done that all season, it'll take a massive effort to pull that out of the bag now. For example, Bolton have won 7 league games this year. They've played 16. If they go on to win 7 in a row now then fair enough, they deserve it.
It's really frustrating that we haven't taken this opportunity, but we haven't thrown anything away yet. We still have it in our hands, and whilst we still may bottle it, turning on the players and the manager at this stage, would just ruin any remaining chance we do have.

Wanna see something funny?

Is that per ride on Blackpool beach?

Don’t forget 50p for Worrall 

Don’t forget 50p for Worrall 

Don’t forget 50p for Worrall 

If the  CV likes a Gibb’s-White and the other players they massively overpaid for can’t claw them back 4pts then they deserve to be relegated. But then this isn’t a disincentive at all. They might as well by haaland for £200m knowing that he’s easily worth 4 extra points. 
if the league want to really disincentivise clubs from breaking the rules, they need to make the punishment such that relegation is inevitable. Like ours. 
everton and forest will both stay up, easily. So the punishment affects nothing. They’ll just lose a few quid for lost places. The league might as well have just fined them in the first place. 

Brentford and Luton did it without parachute payments 

Brentford and Luton did it without parachute payments 

Brentford and Luton did it without parachute payments 

Brentford and Luton did it without parachute payments 

Loved the atmosphere yesterday. Managed to blag myself a flag/flange by telling the person giving them out I was only five 😂 Most enjoyable match of the season for me 

Decided to read through the thread after hearing the inspiring albeit sad tale of your recently passed young supporter. This post popped out. 
 
Year after year we’ve had close calls with promotion and have thrown it away.  Even now with the lead we have I won’t believe we are promoted until it’s mathematically safe. 
 
After hearing the story about B4 I genuinely hope it’s Pompy and Derby who go up in the automatics. What a fitting tribute that would be for someone who was obviously well loved by this forum and had a good heart. 
 
 

The attendance was in tickets sold as stated by the pa announcer just before kickoff, not people through the turnstile