Quite possibly the thing I hate most about modern football is the trend of absolute idiots on Twitter commenting under every one of Derby’s tweets: ‘announce Bielik’, ‘sign some players’, ‘this isn’t a new signing’, etc. It really ducking does my nut in.
Seeing as we've got a little more time, we've surely had the opportunity to create the greatest announcement video ever made? What do we think it'll be?
Stuff walking down the tunnel out to an empty Pride Park at night with the lights on. That's been done, it's boring and unimaginative.
I'm hoping for something brilliant, I can picture it. The camera shows a field of brightly coloured tulips, filmed high from a drone if we know anybody who has one. The drone camera then begins to zoom in rapidly until you see a pair of ankles standing in the tulip field, the person in wearing clogs. They begin to skip and it gets faster and faster as you see a picturesque windmill up ahead. The mystery clog-wearing person skips up to the windmill and knocks on the door. The camera then zooms out. The mystery man in the clogs is Mel Morris. The door opens and it's big Phil Cocu. Mel and Phil embrace and Mel gets out a piece of paper and a pen. They walk to the kitchen to sign, when suddenly you hear the toilet flush. Mel looks up, he's confused. Big Phil just smiles. The door opens. It's Tomori. They both sign the contract.