AndyinLiverpool

Give over. It's nothing like that.

Such a disappointment. To be in such a strong position before start of play to this it couldn't have gone much worse. Can still win though. Gonna take something superhuman. Time for the captain to have a bowl.

Today's gone pretty poorly so far. We'll have to bat bloody well in the lower order to get a lead anywhere near 300.

'Hans, our hats have got skulls on them.'

zzzzzzzzzz

Our quicks being able to hit those cracks will be crucial. The ball was jagging about a bit and the one that got Stokes practically rolled along the ground

He was a miserable sod

Nice. Could you follow that up with the names of the people in the 'Fun fact' section?

My wife thinks I'm quaintly old-fashioned for still calling them 'sides'. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.

400 sovs- blimey. They definitely won't fall apart quicker than a fraudulent university either.

Nice to wake up to this. What a shambles.

there's still time

You clearly haven't been to Ireland for a while

I've never heard of TNT sports

Has anyone researched the success rate in gambling of expected goals over, say, tossing a coin or chucking a dart?

Hence the song 'Panic' by the Smiths - Wright played some syrupy Wham song right after a news flash about Chernobyl.

Rod stewart-a-like Alan Biley

A ref is disinterested, as in unbiased. Not an ionterest in one side or another.

uninterested

To what end?

I don't understand this. Expected goals is more representative than actual goals? What are they more represetative of?

A much better picture of what? Whether I'm likely to enjoy a game? It seems to me it's only useful for coaching and betting. If you do neither, it gives a picture of nothing. Yet Live broadcasters yum this stuff up, despite the fact that anyone who wants this info can go to their bookie's website.

Certainly not enough attention to get into a tizz when they don't throw the ball back quickly enough / throw it back too quickly (delete as applicable).

Give forgiveness a go. It's worth it.

Slagging off the ballboys. Bravo.