Coneheadjohn Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 8 minutes ago, dcfc the 1 4me said: Don't swallow that chewing gum, it'll wrap round your ribs. Passed that one on from me mam to my three. I like that. I always told mine that if they swallowed bubbly gum,when they went for a poo a big bubble would blow out of their arse filled with poo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Life would get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jono Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 On 2 March 2017 at 09:46, StivePesley said: I vividly remember my mum telling me at about the age of 6 that if i didn't stop playing with it then it would fall off. And I believed her for a couple of miserable years The worst lie I ever told my eldest when he was little was that Soreen fruit loaf was chocolate I told my little brother that I could eat grass (while chewing some bits of chives for reinforcement ) .. He fell for for it. .. I have felt slightly guilty ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Clough Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 "I'm off to the shop" Haven't seen the kids for 6 years so far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramit Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 That there were 13 Santa Clauses and each one brings a little gift on the weeks before Christmas It cost a fortune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuespachRam Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 That supporting Derby County Football Club will bring him a lifetime of happiness and joy..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 8 hours ago, MuespachRam said: That supporting Derby County Football Club will bring him a lifetime of happiness and joy..... but misery fuels happiness! How can you appreciate what is truly good if you're unaware of what is truly *****? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarboroughwa Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Homework's important. What a hypocrite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 When the goldfish died, my ex told our 2 young daughters that it had gone on holiday. I didn't have the heart to tell them she'd flushed it down the bog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Study hard to get a good career so you can buy your own home... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 I have had to keep telling my lad that his best friend cannot play because he is feeling under the weather, the actual truth is he is riddled with Cancer at the grand old age of 11 (nephroblastoma) in which it has also travelled to his lungs and bones, he has no hair, no eyebrows and has lost most of his weight and he is truly unrecognisable. When my little one went to see him at the weekend we had to pre warn him which was unpleasant but he coped admirably, the lad was bedridden but up for a game of minecraft which lifted his spirits. my other neighbour is 93 years young and goes ballroom dancing every week, now that really is rough justice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 On 02/03/2017 at 12:25, kash_a_ram_a_ding_dong said: Told my lad that if he stayed in the bath after the plug was pulled out,you end up in France. Then convinced him that France was under a large boulder in a pool in a nearby field. Also told him that bees make honey but wasps made jam.....that one lasted years. Beetles make chutney /Izzard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kash_a_ram_a_ding_dong Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 4 hours ago, eddie said: Beetles make chutney /Izzard Too late now,he's 16 and think I'll be bubbled!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 On 15/03/2017 at 16:03, LesterRam said: I have had to keep telling my lad that his best friend cannot play because he is feeling under the weather, the actual truth is he is riddled with Cancer at the grand old age of 11 (nephroblastoma) in which it has also travelled to his lungs and bones, he has no hair, no eyebrows and has lost most of his weight and he is truly unrecognisable. When my little one went to see him at the weekend we had to pre warn him which was unpleasant but he coped admirably, the lad was bedridden but up for a game of minecraft which lifted his spirits. my other neighbour is 93 years young and goes ballroom dancing every week, now that really is rough justice. I gave you a like because I understand rather than I like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 10 minutes ago, coneheadjohn said: I gave you a like because I understand rather than I like. I actually burst out crying yesterday when I stopped to speak to the Father, I am seriously unstable at the moment and that just pushed me a bit too far, lovely family and amazing parents which I should claim is in a different league to my own in the old parenting league, what do you speak about? My missus wonders why I don't go Church on a Sunday, now you know why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 35 minutes ago, LesterRam said: I actually burst out crying yesterday when I stopped to speak to the Father, I am seriously unstable at the moment and that just pushed me a bit too far, lovely family and amazing parents which I should claim is in a different league to my own in the old parenting league, what do you speak about? My missus wonders why I don't go Church on a Sunday, now you know why. I've had a couple of threads about one of my kids. I'm always trying to work out what I should and shouldn't tell his 2 younger brothers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 12 hours ago, coneheadjohn said: I've had a couple of threads about one of my kids. I'm always trying to work out what I should and shouldn't tell his 2 younger brothers. How is your lad now, did all the operations take OK? Keep strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted March 18, 2017 Author Share Posted March 18, 2017 1 hour ago, LesterRam said: How is your lad now, did all the operations take OK? Keep strong. Thanks mate.4th of May for the op,it was delayed due to the plastic surgeons availabiltiy,I'm sure I will bore you all to tears when we get to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaguarRam Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 I once told them that Forest fans are real people too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 'Of course your mum and I don't have a favourite'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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