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Tony Pulis' Hat II


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Those stupid overly dramatic montage things. The beeb does them now...seemingly for all sports. Lets get some dramatic music, some black and white footage and make it seem like the clash of the century. It is a match of football...in August, yet somehow the whole world of football hinges on this one match. The excessive hype is such ****.

 

Andy "Better" Townsend and Clive "Behind you" Tyldesley.

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Sean Dyche's first Premier League interview:

- "I was delighted with the tactical framework of the side, we showed tremendous courage against a tyrant out there today."

It was a very effervescent performance to be fair

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Anyone who doesn't question anything they hear from a pundit and repeats it brainlessly

'Ji Sung Park's quality, he's a big game machine!'

You've never actually seen him for 90 minutes have you? You're just repeating whatever Alan Hansen says.

"Oh, he's quality"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! It's thrown around so often, but no one really knows what they're saying.

"Yeah, but THIS YEAR Ronaldo's been better"

Yeah, I've pulled off more moonwalks than Michael Jackson has this year, doesn't mean I'm the better dancer.

Mark Hughes

He's just the dullest man going, thank god he didn't go into punditry.

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The Van Gaal hype is doing my head in. Pundits talk like he's a mate now.

Oh, Van Gaal? Gaaly? Yeah, yeah he's a great manager. He insists on all his players sleeping on a water mattress at night. Yeah, known him years. Saw him when he was at Ajax and they were like scoring bicycle kicks from the halfway line twice a week. He once killed a horse with one punch. Gaaly will get United playing awesome football like Holland did in the WC. Probably even break into the top 4 this season, he's THAT good.

Build a temple ffs

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I hate Van Gaal already. Seems a right pr*ck, and perfectly suited for Manure.

Holland were sh*te at the WC Cup as well. Spain literally gifted them goals with awful defending. Scraped past Australia. Good win against Chile. Cheated against Mexico, got very lucky. Drew 0-0 with Costs Rica, got very lucky. Parked the bus against Argentina.

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The Van Gaal hype is doing my head in. Pundits talk like he's a mate now.

Oh, Van Gaal? Gaaly? Yeah, yeah he's a great manager. He insists on all his players sleeping on a water mattress at night. Yeah, known him years. Saw him when he was at Ajax and they were like scoring bicycle kicks from the halfway line twice a week. He once killed a horse with one punch. Gaaly will get United playing awesome football like Holland did in the WC. Probably even break into the top 4 this season, he's THAT good.

Build a temple ffs

They conveniently forget mention to forget his second spell at Barca, which was like Roy Hodgson at Liverpool and failing to qualify in 2002 with the dutch.

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The Van Gaal hype is doing my head in. Pundits talk like he's a mate now.

Oh, Van Gaal? Gaaly? Yeah, yeah he's a great manager. He insists on all his players sleeping on a water mattress at night. Yeah, known him years. Saw him when he was at Ajax and they were like scoring bicycle kicks from the halfway line twice a week. He once killed a horse with one punch. Gaaly will get United playing awesome football like Holland did in the WC. Probably even break into the top 4 this season, he's THAT good.

Build a temple ffs

This will make you laugh!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22460395

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Van Gaal has named Tyler Blackett, Jesse Lingard and Javier Hernandez in his starting XI.

 

If they win DESPITE those players, the arse kissing will be too much to bear.

 

I can see it now, Blackett and Lingard have horrendous games but a Rooney late goal nicks it. But the media frenzy about "Van Gaal's risk on youth paying off" might actually give me a fatal illness.

 

But if they lose, it's forgotten about. Nobody notices...

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Is Blackett the guy that played LB for Brum against us? He was the the second worst player on the pitch that day, only narrowly beaten by the curly haired bomb scare at CB.

That's the one. They are only playing these players because of an injury crisis. If they win it was a "calculated risk", if they lose then it was injuries.

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I hate Van Gaal already. Seems a right pr*ck, and perfectly suited for Manure.

Holland were sh*te at the WC Cup as well. Spain literally gifted them goals with awful defending. Scraped past Australia. Good win against Chile. Cheated against Mexico, got very lucky. Drew 0-0 with Costs Rica, got very lucky. Parked the bus against Argentina.

So you don't watch Sky or MOTD,but its ok to watch BBC (which has MOTD) and ITV? I don't get it.

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So you don't watch Sky or MOTD,but its ok to watch BBC (which has MOTD) and ITV? I don't get it.

I only watched two of those games myself (Spain and Argentina), the rest of the information I gathered from people I trust. The reason I don't watch MOTD is because I have no interest in the premier league. I stream games so I suppose you could say I do watch sky, but we don't have it. I avoid the constant bombardment about how great the premier league is.

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Also, Leeds the early game on Sky again? Last year it was Leeds and QPR taking it in turns to be the early game every bloody week. God knows how much Leeds we're going to be subjected to now there's no QPR....

Didn't catch much of it, but the second half was introduced saying something like 'and now back to the second half where Leeds are still level.'

Like it's the Leeds United show. If be dead pissed off if I was a Middlesborough fan.

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BT Sport's coverage of the lunch time game was an ordeal.

 

The pre-build up was "Van Gaal Van Gaal Van Gaal genius Van Gaal tactics Scholes United Rooney armband Old Trafford Van Gaal Van Gaal. And now we cross live to our commentators where Van Gaal's United are apparently playing a game against someone? Cardiff? Wrexham? Something like that...."

 

After Swansea's BRILLIANT, UNSCRIPTED WIN AGAINST VAN GAAL'S GIANTS, the analysis will be about where United went wrong, to get to the bottom of how Van Gaal's dream debut was spoiled by the lowly minnows of Swindon. No wait it was Swansea wasn't it?

 

After 20 minutes of that, we'll get that classic line "but we musn't take anything away from Swansea today."

 

How kind of you, BT Sport.

 

I f*cking hate football.

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